Back on pre-BF PS there was a villain who looked pretty normal LAGfish from aggregate stats - 50/20-ish flat across all non-blinds. But I noticed he showed up with some awfully weird stuff UTG. I went into PT and sure enough he raises 20% UTG but the bottom 20%, not the top 20% (top 20% from all other positions). So of course I take the Jesus Seat - which is three seats to his right rather than one to his left - and start 3-betting him with all sorts of poo poo. This in turn pisses off all the other regs who have me as an aggregate 20/15 or whatever, and I start getting all sorts of hate in the chat box, which of course I immediately blame on my cat walking on my keyboppo9hhghhvvvvvvvvv
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You can't be that cynical if you're disappointed!

CB is not consistently dirty so I'd say you're getting old and cynical.

Given your apparent image, something better than AA but worse than 99.

You might have a chance with AA if you had a LAG image and Villain asked if you had "5-4 again."

The fact that a crazy person raises, HB three bets, and it is a heads up pot is a sign that Howard should just raise at random times for immense profit. If he can get HU with the worst player at the table whenever he wants, he should do it until just before people stop letting him. Also given the apparent hands in the villain's range, HB should pretend to look and just get HU. Once the villain takes an aggressive action on the turn, he should maybe try to lose fewer $.

Pedantically, he should probably do it until sometime after people stop letting him. It's a bit like saying if your bluff never gets called, you're not bluffing enough. Obviously he has a ton of equity when people play back unlike getting bluffs called OTR.

If you stop just before, you get to do it forever.

HB will answer with a reason why that is bad advice.

Depends on whether you want Villain's money or his respect.

fold AA pre next time obv, they never win in LHE

Captain R has shown me the path. The villains should like you. They should pity you, because clearly you're bad at poker and will eventually lose all your $. They should think you're a crazy raising monkey, who randomly jams the raise button.

ATTACK

For Jesse.

You have completed the successful channeling of Jesse8888. Attack, indeed.

Bob, can you pick an obscure line to bet the max in sports, tomorrow?

Not tomorrow, but I may be available for a 3 point contest from the top of the key sometime.

One time people fired up a discussion about which players (both at the table and away from the table) were trust fund babies. I asked what about me, they said I wasn't.

Win, or fail?

You play during lunch hour, l,do.

You play the lunch hour to leave.

Apparently not as obvious as ldo.

Reg: "Where are you going?"
Me: "Back to work."
Reg: "You have a job? Your daddy doesn't just give you money?"
Me: "I work at [Fortune 500 company]."
Reg: "Well, I bet your daddy owns the company."
Me (stifling laughter): "Not the whole company."

Prop, after I 3-bet pro's last hand chips in racks UTG open and then bet/fold the flop, forcing pro to get an extra rack: "Why did you do that? You know he has a good hand, he's ready to leave."
Me: "Maybe I had a good hand too."
Prop: "Yeah but he has a good hand good hand, not like 'I can afford to lose a thousand dollars an hour' good hand."
Me: "I don't lose a thousand an hour."
Prop: "Two hundred an hour?"

A few months later he leans over to me and says, "Hey see that guy? He keeps this game in business, loses five hundred an hour." I just refuse to acknowledge he said anything at all and stare straight ahead. And then later I find out that when I'm walking into the room he's been saying the same stuff to that guy about me. I finally made a formal complaint about his overall behavior and at least he stopped saying stuff out loud.

I hope deep down inside he still thinks I'm an idiot.

Props have a miserable existence.

First off, why would you care what he says about you?

Second, I was a prop for a year. It was awesome.

Because if he talks with other people about me, he might change his mind about me.

This prop's wounds were self-inflicted. He used to lock up seats and try to delay actually moving for as long as possible, then decide not to move, and then wondered why people hated him.

Interesting. I propped in a mostly one game room and my condition for taking the job was that I never have to give up my seat. I know that’s unusual but it’s the only way I’d consider it. I think some ppl were annoyed at first but they got used to it and I think they generally liked me even though I smashed their faces in while getting paid to do it.

Cynically, I think some of the props made more from the hourly wage than the game, so they had incentive to intentionally break games and drive people away.

Like later on some of the props openly mocked the bad players, like, "I'm going to bet this and you're going to call because you can't help yourself. There goes another $60 down the drain." I'm mean, really?

There were a few props who were good people and good players and I bet they had a great experience. Even the good people who were mediocre players probably had an overall positive experience.

I generally like it when people think I’m a bad player or a maniac. I don’t disused this. Also, I am a bad player and a maniac.