2017! NC/LC THREAD -- Small Stakes, 40 years to Mars - Page 33 - Small Stakes Poker Forum

Really sad. My brother and nephew are likely to come by the end of the month also. And my other sister is bound to make an appearance sooner or later. Then there's the couple of uncles/aunt and I'm making so many trips to the airport that I ought to have a terminal named after me. We live in a vacation post card and they all get free room and board. If I ever move again it's likely to be to a corner of North Dakota that even Satan avoids.

03-12-2017 , 08:56 PM

#802

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

And then there's this:

BRAG! Woman dealer sits down, looks at me, says 'YOU LOOK GREAT!!!! How much weight have you lost? You really look terrific!' She's not bad looking and about the best age that I can reasonably expect to get since I can't afford a trophy anything so I look at her left hand, no ring, and start to think 'Maybe I ought to.................' then BEAT! She mentions a husband. jfc. And prob for the best, tbh.

03-12-2017 , 08:58 PM

#803

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

That was a rollercoaster.

Can we fund you a masseuse?

03-12-2017 , 09:27 PM

#804

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

Anytime.

03-12-2017 , 09:28 PM

#805

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

Plus, since I look so good, I think that I'll start shaving at least to go to the casino so I'll look extra good. Who knows what might come of it.

03-12-2017 , 10:41 PM

#806

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

1. Shave
2. Go to casino
3. Play poker
4. ?????
5. Break even over 5k sample!

03-12-2017 , 11:08 PM

#807

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

All that gets me is $1/hr on the card. How am I going to get a hottie w/ that?

03-13-2017 , 05:02 AM

#808

pig4bill

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 34,108

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard Beale

And, my Versa can hardly make it up the one hill in town, the poor little thing. Great car for Phoenix bec it's flat and gets 38 mpg but a trip to LV? IDK.

There's a hill in Phoenix? You're not talking about Camelback? Years ago I took a test drive on that road in a Porsche Turbo. Got on the gas a little, made a couple shifts, hey this thing isn't bad, look down and I'm going 100.

Cripes, my Focus gets 40+ mpg on the highway, mid 30's in town, has 160 hp, and hasn't found a hill on the way to Vegas that it can't blast at 80+ on cruise.

03-13-2017 , 09:27 AM

#809

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard Beale

All that gets me is $1/hr on the card. How am I going to get a hottie w/ that?

It'll get you about $125!

Way more than tre fiddy!

03-13-2017 , 09:37 AM

#810

callipygian

slowrolled by tpiranha!

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 19,880

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard Beale

All that gets me is $1/hr on the card. How am I going to get a hottie w/ that?

It's not the size of your wallet, it's how you use it.

Or so I've heard.

03-13-2017 , 12:22 PM

#811

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

One of these days I'm going to use my good looks and charm to land one of them hotties. Then I'm going to be damn sorry that I did.

03-13-2017 , 12:44 PM

#812

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard Beale

One of these days I'm going to use my good looks and charm to land one of them hotties. Then I'm going to be damn sorry that I did.

Can wholeheartedly say you WILL be damn sorry. Speaking from experience.

And don't teach her to be a better poker player than you. That's the worst.

03-13-2017 , 12:49 PM

#813

callipygian

slowrolled by tpiranha!

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 19,880

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard Beale

One of these days I'm going to use my good looks and charm to land one of them hotties. Then they're going to be damn sorry that I did.

Fyp

03-13-2017 , 02:41 PM

#814

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

03-13-2017 , 04:14 PM

#815

offTopic

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2002 Posts: 19,518

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard Beale

All that gets me is $1/hr on the card. How am I going to get a hottie w/ that?

Overheard a dealer tell a guy "my name is NINA, it stands for no income? Not available"

03-13-2017 , 04:27 PM

#816

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

That's a good - and honest - one.

03-13-2017 , 04:30 PM

#817

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

But it's good for you, Howard, as you have that $1/hr AND you're planning on shaving.

And if she sees you scoop a couple you'll be GTG

03-13-2017 , 05:04 PM

#818

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

I want what I can't have: one of the waitresses w/ a great butt. It's a torture watching her walk that butt around and knowing I've got zero chance.

03-13-2017 , 09:26 PM

#819

callipygian

slowrolled by tpiranha!

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 19,880

Quote:

Originally Posted by Howard Beale

I want what I can't have: one of the waitresses w/ a great butt. It's a torture watching her walk that butt around and knowing I've got zero chance.

Bink the BBJ and she'll notice you.

03-13-2017 , 09:38 PM

#820

Brad Childress

adept

Join Date: Nov 2010 Posts: 1,129

The BBJ probably only gets you a BBJ, but there is a price for everything.

03-13-2017 , 09:39 PM

#821

that_pope

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Dec 2006 Posts: 33,238

Creepy old man.

03-13-2017 , 09:57 PM

#822

Howard Beale

Formerly red

Join Date: Sep 2005 Posts: 22,190

Creepy young man.

03-14-2017 , 09:10 AM

#823

Bob148

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 11,972

It's amazing how spending a weekend in the mountains can totally change my attitude. Nothing can phase me at the moment. Sorry no pics.

03-14-2017 , 10:54 AM

#824

callipygian

slowrolled by tpiranha!

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 19,880

Which mountains?

03-14-2017 , 10:55 AM

#825

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Not the ones Howard wishes he were climbing...

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