TTurns out I was wrong about all this "tanking".
Last night, I asked my captain to put me up first, as I had another engagement later. Ten minutes after the match was supposed to start, I asked him if I'd be up first. He turned to the other team's captain and said, "Oh yeah, we're putting YTF."
Five minutes after that, their captain announced, "Well, I guess I'm playing him," as none of his teammates had arrived yet.
These guys aren't tanking--they're just in no rush to start on time! Cancel the thread.