this has probably come up quite a bit, but i'm interested to hear some thoughts on the following

i was wondering how/what you guys do to get over losing large amounts of money? amounts which will be viewed as large will vary alot from person to person, so this question can be answered by pretty much anyone and not just the nosebleed guys.

i don't think the answer is having 100bis+ in my account, i think its a psychological issue were i constantly think about what the pot i just lost/won could buy.

i remember listening to galfond speak briefly about how he trys his best to mentally lose the fact that he's playing with real $ by just looking at it as "numbers on a screen"

anyone else elaborate on that?

a basic way i try to get over stuff is by trying to think about the next step rather than the last step.

what happens happens ya just gotta look forward and do what's best for tomorrow rather than think about w/e else. look at it like someone else did it and do what you would tell them to do.

and anytime ya start thinking about it just scramble your thoughts with nonsense until you can think of something else.

i wish i had that "problem". would have helped a couple of times

i play 8-GAME and only a little bit of HU PLO / PLO DEEP from time to time.
i am not yet able to handle losses of a substantial part of my roll and i know this is a leak.
atm i just keep 3-4 buy-ins (less than 10% of my roll) online
and pay out daily when i win more than 2 stacks.
but that just works, cause in case of online-broke i can easily redeposit the next day
(3 figure amounts, just 2-tabling in general).
if id keep more online, id go online-broke or break-even at most of my "downswing"-days.
i know i have to fix that leak when i want to play higher than 4/8$ one day.
im really curious and looking forward to further responses of higher stakes players.
adiprene`s response was already helpfull for me, but i always have to sleep over it when i lost.
otherwise id be chasing losses in an inappropriate way.
i can just scramble my mind with substances to forget about poker for the rest of the day (nothing to hard, though).
i still have to learn a lot, i guess.

i hope the mods dont move the thread to psychology,
im pretty sure we will get better responses in this forum for obvious reasons.

For me it was a combination of total barrier between poker roll and life roll and just being overrolled.

Having 100bis in the roll is a tremendous edge... more than what most players realize or want to admit.

+1

i see there are both positives and negatives, as being careful with money is obviously better than being a complete monkey. thats not really the issue tho, im not afraid of moving up, i just seem to play like a f ****** when i do.

ive come to the conclusion its because i dont handle losing/winning more money that im "used" too very well (i use that "" word because ive been playing/hovering around the same stakes now for a year or so)

But how do you determine what % of your net worth is your poker roll?

well that's totally tied to personal circumstances, but i agree playing 100 bi back so good for mental game... namely because you start forgetting what the cashier says when you look because it doesn't matter, this leads to forgetting about it altogether.

I dunno, I always think about how my life would be different if I had that 50 bi's back.. the answer is usually not at all... that's comforting.

I also think about how many times its happened before, and it feels smaller.

Then have some cake or something, its just money, paper that makes things go smoother here and there....and there's always another way to make more... luckily your mind is trained to seek out edges in anything you do now.

You don't. You set enough money aside for expenses and consider poker bankroll as offlimits.

+1
I have to say I do my brm with my stars roll. Ich have 1/3 of my roll on other sites but I don't count it, dunno why.
I think it's very player dependent. I always have huge swings so I have to play overrolled. You also have to make a difference between playing deep tables and normal tables. If I'm playing the deep tables with 250bb BI I think 100 Bis isn't enough. I'm not sure but I guess something between 150-250 should be right for these games.

If you follow this rules, you hardly losing "large" amounts.
But it happens maybe once in a year, last time I cashed out 2/3 of the rest of my roll, so maybe I can't handle it aswell

Don't play for amounts of money that bother you psychologically is the only answer. You can try to find "tricks or tips," but in reality, just don't ever play above your comfort level. You will know when you are ready to move up.

This is perfect.

There are tricks that help you manage your BR but at the end of the day, if you aren't feeling comfortable, you're playing too high.

PS: unless you're Tim Tebow with God on your back.

Another very serious issue is becoming numb to losing or feeling sorry for yourself while downswinging. Equivocal to feeling angry and having anxiety to such events.

eh the bit i underlined usually proceeds part 1 (my orginal post)

not sure if its classed as anxiety (i think it is?) but i also have a huge fear of failing, constantly worry about were i'll be/what i'll be doing in the future... :S

u got a good read lwrunner

everytime you lose a mercedes amg in a session i think its important to take a break and smoke some reefer!

I feel like almost everyone who has a very positive viewpoint on this subject are speaking from a place where they have since had a lot of success. I agree the best you can do is try to shrug it off and put your nose back to the grindstone without overly shutting out other important aspects of life, but speaking as someone who has has lost a huge portion of their net worth from black friday (and not made it back yet), I can say it's been extremely hard for me to get over, and I feel like I'll be pretty soul-crushed for the rest of my life if I don't "get it back". For me, money=time/freedom (of not having to work for money?), so if what I'm doing in my future is changed significantly due to all this, I don't think I'll ever really get over it. I think ultimately, this feeling is just part of the fire you play with when you get involved with poker/the shady world of online gambling.


(but if you can "get it back" then that will likely bring about all kinds of extra positive feelings about yourself which I think are very valuable, but hopefully not at the expense of too many other important things)

Wow what negative victimizing post. I'm pretty embarassed to have posted it, but I guess it illustrates my true feelings on the question, that the main danger is losing a lot of money will give you something "significant" to victimize yourself about in a grass is always greener type circumstance, and it's pretty easy to get hung up on it. But ultimately, of course, it's all relatively irrelevant compared to just being lucky enough to be alive.

You should not consider your poker winnings/loses in monetary terms but as BB/100. This will keep you in check. As long as your bankroll is separate from your personal expenses and you keep track of your fluctuations, you should be fine. When I loose 2k in a night, I only consider that 2 buyins, not a flat screen tv.

lol i can't believe i lose the post i did here... i did a looong post talking a lot about this. i am so sure that i clicked ''post reply'' that i might posted in wrong thread. maybe i will find it lol.

damn it

kutty, your 1st post is very good, esp the ''get it back'' part. i totally agree w/ that. it was your post that motivated me to write my book here lol. unforttunally i misclicked and loose the book hehe

people talking about how many buy ins they have at their account seems ridiculous to me. losing 200buy ins oh well, its bad. but come on... this isn't the end of the world.

i am talking about losing money enough that make you kill yourself. and i am not making a joke. changing money life. ammount that will change your future and your family/friends future.

11months ago i lose 3/4 of my life roll in couple hours playing and fliping. 500k gone. since february 2011 i don't enjoy my life. i can't. i think i am an idiot. its very hard handle w/ this. i can't sleep. i wake up during nights thinknig ''OMG I LOSE EVERYTHING AGAIN??!?!?!?'' some days i wake up thinking ''omg what i did yesterday? damn how much did i lose?'' when in fact i didnt play on last day.

i might re-write my post and talk more deep about this..i want talk about this because its something that is ''eating'' my brain and my life.

i hate myself for doing this. i really hate. and i hate even more to turn such a great/fun/cool game (poker) into something that i hate and give me nightmare.

damn what i did... why i did... those things won't disapear. i need take it back to make this disapear. i feel i burned my future.

btw one thing i learned: worse than not having my roll, is not having my confidence. i could grow up w/o a bankroll like i did years ago, but w/o confidence i can't.

edit: sorry for confused posted. really tilts me i lose the huge text i did...

Urubu,

We've all made mistakes in life, some larger than others. What you did was a large mistake, but dwelling on it and letting your life revolve around it is basically acknowledging that you are a slave to your mistakes

I don't want to come off condescending. I have made tons of mistakes in life (poker and otherwise) and I still dwell on bad decisions I made 5-6 years ago. But whenever I start thinking about these decisions, my mind becomes clouded with negativity. The best thing I can advise you do is try to find a healthy hobby that you can invest your time and energy in.

For me, it's golf. When I'm on the golf course, nothing else matters. I feel completely devoid of any life problems and only focus on my game, the beauty of the course, and having fun with my friends. Every time you have a similar positive experience in a hobby or activity that you really feel passionate about, your confidence grows. Life confidence, confidence with women, confidence at the poker table - these things are all coming from the same place, from feeling satisfied with who you are.

It's been said over and over again, but good sleep / exercise / diet is paramount. The irony is that these are the areas I struggle the most in, but when I'm on top of this stuff, everything else in my life is better.

You will find your happiness by focusing on the other areas of your life first, and incorporating poker into an overall healthy and balanced lifestyle.

Good post, and this is so true

I've had periods where I've had bad sleep and it just drains you through the day, ruins your life. I think sleep disturbances is interlinked w/ depression and you have to look at ways of overcoming it

One thing I struggle with is the "well I guess I should have just gone to the bar tonight, i'd have an extra thousand bucks" when I stay in on a friday night and grind when I had the option to go out. Though of course just as often I make that amount of money. I'm working on not worrying about it too much, but sometimes it's tough. The best thing I've found is just to remind myself of the last time I stayed in and crushed.

Urubu to get your confidence back I feel like you need to write down the things you really want, then figure out the best way to go after them and then just keep it on the tip of your brain as often as possible and act on it and the confidence takes care of itself. Also not holding/viewing yourself in an unrealistic way helps. I feel it's ok to be unhappy/insecure/whatever in the moment as long as you are content with your journey (which usually requires you to feel like you are progressing on a path you believe in)

Somebody once said something like "I lost $x tonight, and this is progression" (wasn't this word for word because obv that sounds really lame, but along those lines) and I always use this as a motto.

Playing hands in +ev situations is always going forwards, regardless of the outcome