NFL Fantasy Football 2013 Dynasty League $100 - Page 397 - Fantasy Sports -- Two Plus Two Poker Forums

If your opinion doesn't matter, then why do you keep giving it? Just to be an ass and angle shoot at every attempt. Sounds like an arrogant ass to me...

Roger Toerazor - my opinion does matter to me. That is unlike Rawlz, who admitted that his own vote did not matter in his attempt to angle me. I know it's hard, but please try and keep up.

Even though I can tell Rawlz is a miserable person, at least he is smart and rational. You, on the other hand, lack basic brain cells to even comprehend a simple argument. Just stay on the sidelines big guy.

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12-27-2017 , 08:00 PM

#9902

Rawlz517

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 58,239

Quote:

Originally Posted by Toerazor

If your opinion doesn't matter, then why do you keep giving it? Just to be an ass and angle shoot at every attempt. Sounds like an arrogant ass to me...

This is a good post.

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12-27-2017 , 10:00 PM

#9903

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

i probably would have just flipped lutz for elliot, but at this point, this is just too entertaining

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12-27-2017 , 10:22 PM

#9904

NDfan

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Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 10,016

What are we talking about here? We're talking about kickers. Kickers man, not PLAYERS, kickers, we're talking about kickers.

Kickers

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12-27-2017 , 10:32 PM

#9905

waterwolves

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Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 11,557

That might be your best post ever NDfan. I can't even stay mad at you after that.

What's even more lol is i think kuta is doing exactly what he's making fun of me for doing.

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12-27-2017 , 10:36 PM

#9906

bthekuta

adept

Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 702

Quote:

Originally Posted by movieman2g

i probably would have just flipped lutz for elliot, but at this point, this is just too entertaining

This is not about Lutz, Elliott, or Kickers. I truly do not care that I have Elliott instead of Lutz. It's the principle of having an incompetent and idiotic commissioner like Roger Toerazor being controlled like a puppet by a corrupt angler like Rawlz.

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12-28-2017 , 12:32 AM

#9907

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

lutz otb, will only accept 1st rd picks or better

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12-28-2017 , 08:16 AM

#9908

Dom401

journeyman

Join Date: Jul 2016 Posts: 290

Quote:

Originally Posted by movieman2g

lutz otb, will only accept 1st rd picks or better

I’ll give you Ryan Leaf. He was a first round pick

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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02-23-2018 , 02:34 PM

#9909

bthekuta

adept

Join Date: Jul 2012 Posts: 702

Quote:

Originally Posted by bthekuta

I was going to write only about my quitting, but decided to write my entire job-history and life story. After re-reading it, it’s a little bit boring and long. My apologies in advance.

Law school is a huge joke. I went to a middle-of-the-road school right after undergrad. We learned nothing about the practice of law. The professors, who had absolutely no experience as practicing lawyers, did not prepare us at all for real practice. They cared far more about their publications and lining their pockets than teaching us anything. They spent less than one minute grading each essay at the end of the year, which constituted the class’s entire grade and would greatly determine each of our futures. Their indifference and apathy is exactly how I luckboxed my way into finishing in the top 10% after my first year despite never studying or working. I have a ton of great law school stories, but will withhold them unless I get good feedback on this one.

Due solely to my first-year grades (which dropped precipitously in my last two years), I was able to land a big firm job in downtown LA with a $160k starting salary. When the economy was still good, the big firms interviewed candidates right after the 1st year.

During my first year and a half of work, I did almost nothing but horrible document review. On the extraordinarily rare occasions I practiced, I was committing malpractice. I had no idea what I was doing and no one provided any guidance. In that first year and a half, I never said “your honor” one time. The job was extremely boring, I learned nothing, and I hated it. I knew I was far dumber and lazier than my colleagues (who were all top notch law students from Stanford, Harvard, etc)

I was thrilled when they fired me and gave me 4 months of severance. The severance package provided that I was allowed access to the building/computer/email and represent that I was “employed” during those 4 months, after which I would “voluntarily resign.” The firm spun it as doing me a favor to make me more attractive for other employers when, in reality, it was a way for the firm to avoid abovethelaw.com and its layoff/termination statistics so that it appeared better financially and publically.

After I was fired, the only partner that I liked and had any respect for asked me to help him with some statistical analysis issues on excel relating to exposure in a big class action wage and hour case. He knew I could help since I had a strong math background, having a degree in math with a concentration in actuarial science. Since I still had access to the building, I came to work in shorts, a t-shirt, and sandals at this super formal, upscale law firm. I made sure all the equity partners saw me that day as I walked proudly through the halls. I did a great job on that project and he thanked me endlessly.

After the termination, due to the bad economy, I ended up taking a job at a miniscule 5-attorney shop paying only $75k in podunk Sacramento. Since the economy was so bad and there were so many unemployed lawyers, there was no way I was getting a $160k job again.

I was there for three years and absolutely loved that job and loved Sacramento. I have a ton of great lawyer stories and can share them if you want. However, one night, I got way too drunk at a client event and punched my boss in the face in front of the insurance carriers. I also threw a bottle at him. I can expand on this story too if you want.

Surprisingly, they did not fire me. Not surprisingly, they froze my salary at 90k while the other associate (who billed 500 less hours than me that year) got a 10k raise. I was pissed about this, got drunk again at an attorney meeting, and got in a fist fight with the same boss again. After this, I started to immediately apply to new jobs.

I asked the old partner at the first firm if he could provide a reference. He told me that I should apply at his new big firm where he was a top equity partner of the downtown LA office. Thinking that things would be different from the first time around, I took the job like a moron. I’m originally from LA and the money was just too attractive.

The job was the worst job imaginable. I was in the office from 8:00 a.m. to midnight every day at a minimum. I worked full days on the weekends. I frequently pulled all-nighters. The work was horrifically boring and stressful at the same time. On one case, I had to draft 90 pages of objections to evidence in opposition to a motion for class certification with a 2-day turnaround time. Since I never had phone calls, never had mail, and never was out of the office, billing was extremely difficult. On a lucky day I would have a 2/3 ratio of billing to working time. The job was incredibly thankless and dead-end. EVERY single partner there had lateralled in (usually from higher ranked firms in the bad economy) and not a single partner had risen through the ranks of the firm as a previous associate.

I never appeared in court. I went from being the only attorney on 15 different cases to one of 15 attorney staffed on 4-5 huge class action cases. When I woke up to go to work, I would have 30 emails waiting for me on my IPhone, sent at all times of the night. The other associates were extremely anti-social and competitive, were there at all hours of the night, and did not converse with each other.

I gained 35 pounds in only 8 months and was very depressed. One partner in particular was a nightmare to work for. He was gay and incredibly condescending. Nothing was good enough and he never provided a compliment even though I would stop everything I was doing and assist him at the drop of the hat. He created endless artificial deadlines and artificial emergencies. For him, everything had to be stressful.

August 14, 2013, I had my first and only deposition for a different partner at the last minute. I PMed Toerazor my 3rd round pick (Matt Forte and then Chris Johnson) in advance before leaving for the deposition. I had no cell phone service in Lancaster when I was gone, but the prick partner had sent me 17 emails by the time I got back around 5 p.m.. He demanded that we have a meeting at 9:00 p.m. in his office. At that time, he chewed me out for not timely responding to his emails and demanded that I respond to every email within 10 minutes “no matter what.” He then told me I had to complete draft discovery responses and objections for 400 categories that were due in three weeks but that he “needed” to see by Friday. He wanted the first 200 done by 2:00 p.m. on the 15th, and the next 200 done by 9:00 a.m. on the 16h since he had to leave early on the weekend to go to his Cabo San Lucas vacation home . This was in addition to a ton of other work I was doing (including a crazy respondent’s brief) for multiple other partners.

I pulled an all-nighter than night, extremely upset 1) I didn’t get Forte; and 2) I was doing endless, thankless work. I got all of my other work done by 9 a.m. when I started on the discovery objections. Between 9 a.m. and 2:00 p.m. I got the objections done and sent them to the partner. I made sure they were immaculate.

I also turned 30 on August 15, 2013.

He instructs me to stay in the office until he has had a chance to review them. Finally, at 8:00 p.m., he calls me into his office. In an extremely condescendingly way, he states that I need to work on my writing skills and that they are not up to par for a big law firm. He makes a ton of completely nonsubstantive edits over the entire 40 pages or so of objections, such as changing a “furthermore” to a “further” and an “as such” to an “accordingly.” He got mad because my quotation marks were straight instead of curly.

Extremely upset, I know I need to work late (at least until midnight) to get the second half of the responses/objections done. However, my best friend from kindergarten calls around 9:00 p.m. and convinces me to get a few drinks at the downstairs bar for my birthday. I meet up with him and another one of my close childhood friends, thinking that I would only have a few drinks and then go back to work.

At the bar, I am almost in tears as I start to realize that I am absolutely miserable at 30 years old being a lawyer. I screwed up the best job possible up in Sacramento and was wondering if that was the only attorney job in existence that I would enjoy. As we start to pound Cazadores shots, I told them I was going to quit the next day even though we had a ton of attorney friends who were unemployed and could not find jobs at even a fourth of what I was making. They convinced me not to quit and at least to find another job first.

We continued to just pound Cazadores shot after Cazadores shot. The deer was relentless that night. Soon, in the clothes that I had been in since Wednesday morning and without any sleep for several days, my friends convince me to go to an upscale Los Angeles club at the top of one of the high-rises. Even though I am easily 10 drinks in, I can still smell my own horrific BO due to the lack of sleep and shower.

My friend proceeds to buy countless rounds for us and girls around us at the club. We started to dance with an equally drunk group of Asian USC girls who seemed interested even though: 1) I am married and wearing my wedding ring; and 2) they were way too hot for any of us. Around midnight, I go to the bathroom and try to piss. However, I do not take my cock out all the way and start to piss all over myself. I do not realize it until I am easily half done urinating. I tip the bathroom worker guy (no idea what they’re called) $20 to help clean me up. He’s literally wiping down my cock, underwear, and pants with soap, water, and a towel for a good 10 minutes while dudes were walking in and out with looks of confusion.

I go back out and start dancing with one of the Asians, when she calls me out for pissing on myself. I try and explain that it’s a spilled drink, but eventually come clean. I give up after being banned from the group (including my own friends) and start to drink by myself at the bar. I black out.

Next thing I know, around 1:00 a.m., I am grabbed by two enormous security guards and escorted out of the club through the elevator. On the streets, I call a cab. On the way home, I tell the Persian cab driver I only have $100 bills. He states that he cannot make change and that the credit card machine was broken (yeah right.) He stops at a Korean-owned marked near Echo Park (about halfway to my apartment) and demand that I get change to pay the fare.

I go inside the Korean market, extremely drunk, and ask the prick cashier to make change. Besides the cab driver and the aforementioned partner, this cashier was the biggest prick I had ever met. He looked, sounded, and acted exactly like the storeowner in Falling Down.

He refused to make change without a purchase. I go back outside and tell the cab driver that I would hail another cab as I could not get change. The cabbie starts yelling and screaming at me in mixed English and Farsi as I try and hail another cab on the street for the next half hour. Shockingly, there were no available taxis at a random Korean market between a payday loan center and a pawn shop in ghetto Echo Park late on a Thrsday night. With this guy still yelling me, I acquiesce and go back to the cashier. I grab a 99 cent back of flaming hot cheetos and give him my $100. The prick cashier then tells me, in his thick Korean accent, that I have to buy $5 minimum. I grab 5 bags of flaming hot cheetos, get change, and go back in the same cab.

The cab driver completely changes his attitude, apologizes profusely for his previous behavior, and agrees to take me home. During the ride, I open one of the cheetos bags. I pay him the exact fare (something like $17) and then purposely dump the remainder of cheetos out in his back seat and say “oops”. He screams that he’s going to call the cops, then drives off. I proceed to open more bags of cheetos and stuff them in my mouth.

I open my eyes staring at two empty bags of flaming hot cheetos, not knowing where I am or how I got there. I slowly start to comprehend that I am in my apartment, still in the clothes I had been in for days. My white sheets, light blue dress shirt, and pillow cases are covered in red hot cheeto sauce. I have a horrible sweat and look at my phone to see that it’s 9:38 a.m. I have dozens and dozens of emails and 4 voicemails (our work phone is hooked to our email). I jump up, replace my shirt with a wrinkled shirt I find on the floor but do not change my pants or underwear. I am too scared to look at the emails. I did look at my one missed text from my wife, who called me a huge prick for pushing her off the bed, forcing her to sleep on the couch. She had already left for work.

I run down the three flights of stairs to my car, running by a trail of flaming hot cheetos and two more empty bags. I am still clearly drunk and positively reek of tequila. I jump in my car and almost get in multiple accidents on the way to work. I take a quick glance at the disaster staring back at me in my rearview mirror. My face was covered in cheeto sauce and my hair had horrible flakes of crusted gel from 3 days prior. My hands are also covered in cheeto sauce, which were now all over my steering wheel.

I jump into the elevator with three attractive females on lower floors. At that point, I get a whiff of exactly how bad I smell. I had neglected to change my piss-soaked pants/underwear. Combined with the cheetos, BO, and tequila smell, it took all my might with tears welling in my eyes not to throw up. When the last girl exited, I started to dry heave in the elevator. I also started to feel my stomach rumbling and suddenly had the uncontrollable urge to ****.

Finally on my floor, I ran straight to the bathroom and into a stall. I proceeded to have the most painful ****s of my life. It was almost pure liquid and seemingly never-ending. After finishing, I looked into the toilet water, now stained bright red with the hot cheeto ****s. The smell of ****, tequila, piss, BO, sweat, and cheetos was finally too much, and I puked in the toilet and all over the toilet seat. My butthole was also on absolute fire from the cheetos. I flushed the toilet covered in cheeto ****/puke 4 times until the water was finally clear. I then dipped my hand into the toilet water and splashed it against my butthole multiple times in a vain and futile attempt to cool my butthole. During this entire time, my IPhone was on the floor, buzzing and buzzing with missed emails.

I dip some tissue paper into the water and stuff it into my butthole in a desperate, last-ditch effort to keep the temperature of my butthole below volcanic levels. I put my piss-stained pants back on and start walking like a cowboy back to my office. I reek of tequila, BO, flaming hot cheetos, and puke.

As soon as I sit down at my desk around 10:30 a.m., the prick partner calls me into his office. I cowboy into his office, knowing that I had not finished any of the second 200 discovery objections. He looks at me in contempt and demands the outstanding discovery. I lied and responded that I was just finishing up on them. He then gets extremely angry and provides a reminder that he needed to see them before he left on his trip. He also throws down the first 200 responses and the following happens:

“I also re-reviewed your first 200 responses and there were some glaring typos. You have no respect for this job or for me. Your lack of attention to detail is appalling and completely unacceptable. I have informed the managing partner of your performance issues and will have a meeting next week to discuss them.”

He then points out on page 7 that I had two periods back to back at the end of a sentence. On page 13, I had the word “trail” instead of “trial.” Two tiny typos in 40 pages of meaningless, brain-dead, stupid discovery objections that are not going to be read by anyone after they are served.

I respond, still drunk: “You don’t have to set up a meeting. I ****ing quit.”

He looks dumbfounded and says “what?” I repeat myself, slowly and deliberately: “I FU-CKING QUIT.” I tell him that he is an ******* and likes to create drama just for the sake of creating drama. I tell him that I would rather be unemployed than continue to work for him. He yells back “are you seriously going to leave without finishing [X meaningless project], [Y bull**** project], and [Z worthless project.]” I looked at him, smiled while feeling the remnants of cheetos crust at the corners of my mouth, and left his office.

I return to the closet that they call my office, accept a trade with JETS SUK, and then get a call from the managing partner. She asks me to reconsider and indicates that she understands that I’ve had a lot of work lately and that the prick partner is hard to work for. She states that I would not have to work for him anymore and requests that I take until Monday morning to rethink my decision.

I never open those dozens of emails and just sit there browsing the internet with wads of wet toilet paper still stuffed in my ass. I draft Ryan Mathews and leave at 5:00 p.m., the first time I left that firm at a reasonable hour. I disconnect my email to my phone and do no work on the weekend. I call the managing partner at 8:30 a.m. on Monday, formally quit, post this https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/s...postcount=1193 and continue drafting.

I secured an interview two days later and got an offer later that day at a mid-sized firm. Took the job the following week and have been there the 9 months since. I still work too much (billed 242 hours last month) and I took a huge pay cut, but I run my own cases and the work is genuinely enjoyable. Made the best decision of my life.

I am so happy. The ****ing prick ******* partner addressed in story above at the firm I used to work at is now getting sued!

https://abovethelaw.com/2018/02/bigl...uit-this-year/

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02-23-2018 , 03:03 PM

#9910

rafiki

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 40,001

nice!

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02-23-2018 , 03:39 PM

#9911

NDfan

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 10,016

Somehow, I never read that until today.

That story is amazing, the bathroom attendant portion had me in tears.

Also, accepting a trade with Jets Suck in that moment was great!

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02-25-2018 , 03:27 PM

#9912

rafiki

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 40,001

Only a few days left until Wolvie's favorite week of the year! COMBINE BABY

I have to actually pay attention this year. For once I draft in the 1st a few times. Looking for the next EBRON.

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02-25-2018 , 03:30 PM

#9913

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

FYI, there's a spot open in the multi-sport dynasty league dan and i are in:

https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/1.../index126.html

it's super weird and fun. the team is actually really good too and a really strong NFL team with kamara, hunt, cooper, henry, dak, and has the 2nd pick in the rookie draft. pretty strong MLB and NBA teams too.

would be great to get one of you degenerates into the mix

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03-03-2018 , 04:16 PM

#9914

rafiki

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2006 Posts: 40,001

Wolves is vigorously masturbating to the idea of Howard being traded to the Dolphins, opening the door for his guy...

Meanwhile Landry's value:

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03-03-2018 , 05:46 PM

#9915

danvh

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Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 9,528

Send Landry here

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03-03-2018 , 07:46 PM

#9916

NDfan

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Join Date: Jan 2009 Posts: 10,016

lol no

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03-04-2018 , 11:08 AM

#9917

danvh

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Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 9,528

Yes

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03-05-2018 , 01:33 PM

#9918

waterwolves

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 11,557

Not a bad year not a great year. Some decent prospects. Only 2 elite prospects for me in the skill positions.

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03-05-2018 , 03:54 PM

#9919

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

Excited to see which random non-saquon player gets the WW “elite” tag

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03-05-2018 , 08:08 PM

#9920

waterwolves

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 11,557

Watched a little more tape today......there's a 3rd elite prospect.....going to grind tape a little this weekend. Actually might be a couple more great prospects. Looks like a decent draft.

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03-05-2018 , 08:20 PM

#9921

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

yeah, i really like the top ~6 or so picks. and seems like a good tier between ~6 and like...the 2nd rd? the tiers between the 1st and 2nd rd seem like the fun parts this year, but seems like a fun deep draft. i also feel like a lot is going to depend on where guys are drafted