Hello fellow 2+2ers,

This is about a situation I'm currently experiencing, I have started playing poker at a small casino with a really small pool of good regulars which has around 3 - 1/3 tables, a 2/5 and sometimes a 5/10 table, now, the 5/10 table is the most juicy.

I have a friend I have know for a long time who is always there and playing the highest stakes, its his main income source, where I have a job in IT that pays relatively well and pays the bills comfortably.

so far we managed to avoid each other and the soft play we do is "unspoken", sometimes I will not 3bet to let him come see a flop vs the fish in a spot where I would normally 3bet, when we are heads up he plays fast/aggressive vs me when he has it, and folds when he doesn't have it.

Yesterday he was tilting hard and spewed 2 buy ins in 2/5, I sent him a text saying to split our heads up pots, he accepted..

We moved to 5/10 and we had some spots where I lost some money putting myself in spots with him multiway vs the fish and realized this is not sustainable because every situation is very specific and we will end up disagreeing, and its a big step above "just calling preflop collusion".

I would say the issue of yesterday is solved, I said for him to keep the money since I owed him from some other poker related situation.

What should I do going forward?

I will have to sit at the table with him a lot, the only long term solution I can think of is we play like we are not friends.. and if I want to do small things like not 3betting in spots where I know our combined EV is ways higher if I just call its my own decision and if ends up winning a big pot because of that maybe he can pay me dinner or smh.

No soft play or collusion allowed. Just play as if you are not friends. Make the decisions that maximizes your own EV.

Now, if you just call preflop to keep the fish in the pot because you think it is the highest EV play for your individually, that is totally fine, but it's not fine if it's done as soft play/collusion.

Ok, yes I agree, I talked with a common friend we have and he asked what I would do vs him, I said play normal.. but this other friend works for a living so its different.

Having said that, my grinder friend chose that life, and now he has to deal with having me there ready to stack him, and vice versa.

this collusion is stealing EV from other players, so just don't do it.
If you don't 3bet him, he can open wider to go up against the fish and in turn you're really colluding agaisnt the fish

Yes yes, I know..

Even preflop, it's still unfairly stealing money from other players at the table to to soft play your friend in certain scenarios.
Also, I've never heard of any pro doing this sort of thing. If you don't wanna get punched in the face don't be a boxer. If you box your friend are you going to stroke his hair and kiss him in the forehead instead? Just either play the game fairly or don't play.

I don't want to sound harsh though, it sounds like you didn't really understand the ramifications at first, but your pro friend should know better, collusion is scummy and also wanting to get soft played is just weak and lame. It's so much more fun and fulfilling to get into tough spots specially with people you have some history against

Splitting pots after a session is waaaay over the line.

In these live games I see friends play normally, but if they happen to get heads up they'll quickly check it down. While this is still collusion, it's sort of tacitly accepted for the most part. Anything beyond that and you're basically cheating, IMO.

Learn to enjoy winning money from your friends. I think it's more fun. But then I play mostly limit poker, so I'm not winning a friend's entire buyin.