Quote:
Originally Posted by Punker
I think stopping playing in this tourney was one of the most dispiriting things I've read in your log, which has been pretty dispiriting to begin with as you continually take time off, don't work hard, and ignore the advice given to you.
You can't develop match toughness anywhere but in competition, and you barely play any OTB to begin with. I've known and played a lot of masters and FMs and higher - the one thing they all have is an absolute hunger to play. If you don't have that, I'd suggest finding a new goal.
Note taken... This is entirely my fault and there's no excuse for it. I definitely am mentally weak and not in a good place in my life (struggling financially atm, with university workloads and jobs) to be taking such a challenge. This has definitely affected by my passion and hunger for success. My coach definitely mentioned I struggle with motivation and willingness to push the edges and go for a win.
I wouldn't say I "don't work hard" because I probably put more work then anyone here. I'm just honest enough to post about my off days. This effort has also been reflected in my results.
I was probably 1400-1500 strength maybe one and a half years ago and about 1900 now (which is actually strong progress). People must understand that I'm not a PROFESSIONAL, and the amount of time effort/time I put is quite alot for someone with many other life commitments (I'm a 20 yrs old law student who has to grind poker for rent ffs), so saying I "don't work hard" is definitely abit out of line.
The thing is, most people who make progress logs usually post maybe once a month or once every few months, but I post almost on a daily and weekly basis. So while most people won't bother to mention days they take off (once again, I'm not a professional), I try to give an accurate image for what it's like for a recreational player to put effort in to a game despite being in a career point in his life.
Instead of being negative, and just flat out calling my thread "dispiriting" (feel free to unsub, if it's so hard for you to read), maybe shedding a light on how you study chess yourself in as much detail as I did(how about some real advice?).
This goal doesn't have a deadline, maybe it takes me five, ten, twenty, thirty years to reach it, but that's okay. I never said this is something I'll get done by next year. Because despite the negativity in this thread by some disapproving readers, I HAVE made progress, and I HAVE won games using IDEAS I wouldn't have thought of before I worked on my game. And I HAVE improve rating wise (which is more than what alot of people could say).
**I'm taking a break from chess probably after mid July, not because I want to, but because I have to move overseas for a work commitment for a few months. I'll just post whenever I work on something interesting.