I didn't say that life is absurd, you don't understand what Camus is saying. The situation of seeking meaning when there is none is what is absurd, so don't do it.

Just because I don't think my life has any meaning externally to myself doesn't mean that I don't enjoy my life and want it to continue.

Lets put it this way if I know my self the best and I offer solutions to my problems that require action from other people and they don't do it...then my words have no effect on the external environment (since I can't get anyone to act on what I am saying and they have obligation to I understand that) but if that is the case then I don't see how a relationship can be formed between me and my external world. Someone has to move. Now I move for it jumping through hoop after hoop but it is never true the other way round.

A four year old enjoys crayons how many colours do you have?

As many as I need.

What was the last thing you coloured in? Let me guess that character from Frozen? what's her name...Elsa!

It's rather impressive to figure out stuff when nothing matters.

To you yes..but then you are impressed because you know how to eat and sleep. Good boy. Next week we'll teach you how to count to 10.

Did you figure that one out when you were five?

I get it, the mock nihilism makes the intellectual high horse easy and safe. The problem is that easy and safe is boring. If you really want to mock all us stupid people, I think you need to roll in the mud with the rest of us if you want to find something that sticks.

Read back, at some point someone mentioned something about not being a jackass. It was good advice.

I would say life is boring the way it is currently presented. I don't know what you mean by "roll in the mud."

To you it was good advice. You're probably new to this but most people online and a vast majority of those in real life are a jackass to some degree. Just depends on how you define jackass.

I broke down in prayer last night. Can't remember what all I said most of it probably full of hate and despair. I know it doesn't work but I still maintain life drives one to madness.

Laugh at cancer victims because nothing matters. Why not feel sympathy for them if nothing matters? I mean if nothing matters indifference seems like it should be the way. But...

>What does God want me to do and how I can be sure that its coming from God?

study Indian philosophy, practice meditation and yoga
psychedelic drugs can accelerate understanding but are discarded sooner than later

The human body is the temple of God.
One who kindles the light of awareness within
gets true light.
The sacred flame of your inner shrine
is constantly bright.
The experience of unity
is the fulfillment of human endeavors.
The mysteries of life are revealed. (Rig Veda)

I'm laughing because they took it serious...maybe cancers is as strong one but it's like when someone plays a prank on you the best thing to do is to laugh along with it.

Still makes no sense. Indefrence would. Seems like you get joy from it and that would be your meaning. But nihilist always confuse me.

I mean if crying makes no sense neither should laughing. If both don’t make sense and you want to make sense you should go with indifference. If you don’t care about making sense in a sensless world then either should work for you. So it seems odd to choose one over the other.

The existential crisis is the decision point of consciously choosing to care about life (in the most general sense). Caring about life is synonymous with caring about quality of life. We have to psychologically commit to caring about life in order to be able to move beyond this point.

The status quo, the dominant impulse, is to not care about life, but rather to simply survive through and cope with life. The existential crisis is a psychological/spiritual division between the two. OP is playing out the pattern of avoiding the sacrifices/responsibility of fully committing (psychologically, not intellectually) to caring about life. It has to be a full commitment or nothing is resolved and the pattern plays out indefinitely or we get stuck in coping with life.

Only once that full commitment is made are we capable of taking on the necessary defiant mindset I posted about earlier:
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/s...6&postcount=22

Here is a post about how to fully commit psychologically/spiritually:
https://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/s...&postcount=176

I don't really have a choice since I don't believe in free will. I still maintain that life doesn't make sense, or has any meaning etc...

So what, who says it has to.

I never said it ought to. It's only my perspective.

Why are you even talking about it? From where did you acquire this perspective?

I have no idea. I was born and life happened. That is the extent of my knowledge.

Free will or not im not sure but ive held in laughter before its not hard. But alright on the inside you dont have a choice but to laugh at cancer victims dying in agony. Well if that makes no senses why get judgmental on people caring which also makes no sense? Its all the same right?

Snark...maybe you should laugh at your dentist next time when he tries to give you novocaine to see if it will reboot your empathy chip...but why you would go in the first place if teeth are meaningless idk.

Because you got to do something (even if that something is sitting in a dark room focusing on your breathing staring at wall) eventually at some point you'll do something and what that something is can be anything and that anything doesn't have to make sense.