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...but it is when choosing happiness begins to exclude others or attack others --gays, abortion -- then it becomes a problem in my eyes.
The above is pretty vague, but if you are talking about a hate crime against a homosexual or calling a girl who had an abortion a murderer, this kind of stuff grieves a lot of christians, too. I think the association of this stuff with Christianity is a serious error. Most christians are people who are idealistic and activist by nature, and I think this has more of a root in a common personality type.
I know a lot of people who don't like homosexuals (and this is because I know a lot of people). It is still common to sit in a break room among coworkers and hear genuine anti-gay rhetoric on a daily basis, and it comes from atheist, muslim and deist alike. It's so easy to posit religion as a root cause, and that is all it is. It's easy.