@ganstaman - Thank you. That's very informative. But I want to back up to this:
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When I was youngest, sexuality had nothing to do with my identity. Even though I felt different, I didn't ascribe that to sexuality (and I still don't know that I can blame that).
Here's where I'm getting confused. If sexuality had nothing to do with your identity when you were young, then:
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As I gained understanding, my view of myself wrt sexuality underwent changes.
So your sexual identity changed. But it seems to me that your core identity was established well before you knew what to make of it.
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I feel that if I were placed into a difference society (either in a different place and/or time), I would have the same feelings/desires (sexual orientation), but my understanding of them and what that meant for me and how I view myself (sexual identity) could be different.
IOW, Aaron is right in that if you were living in a time where homosexuality was looked down upon, you would have considered
yourself to be the one with the problem and not an intolerant society?
Assuming you would have chosen to hide your sexual identity, do you think it would have been because society made you feel bad about yourself? Or because you didn't want to go through the problems an intolerant society might dish out?
It seems that all the stories I've heard about parents disowning a gay child, friends distancing themselves, etc., have caused me to think that fear is the key motivating factor in hiding their identity. Maybe I watch too many movies? Thanks for contributing to my understanding.
Edit to add:
As an atheist, I feel a kind of kinship with people who are gay. For years I was afraid to "come out" for fear of how I would be perceived by friends and family members. I suppose it's different in that I never thought there was anything wrong with me. How could I when I arrived at my position through sheer logic? So I guess it's a completely different thing and there really are no similarities.