Quote:
Originally Posted by Spades47
Thanks Craig... those are my thoughts exactly. Building a proper base. But that's what I was wondering... do I leave my very unstable environment asap or stay a couple more months and build up a bigger roll. I'd have about 17 buy-ins of $150 for 1/2 which I feel pretty safe with, vs about 10 if I leave now. If I stay I could also try to leave my mom and sister in a more positive way, than just sort of abandoning them. I'm very stressed out, dude... but, thanks for the wise advice.
I'm guessing you've found yourself in this spot before, right, where you've wanted to improve the situation of your mom, sister, and yourself. Realize that the fact that you're back in this same position is because you failed in the past. Understand that your intentions and attempts to improve the situation are ultimately meaningless and all that matters is the result. Visualize what an acceptable result is for you and make the decision that is where you end up no matter what.
Instability and impulsiveness originate and arise from the body and then express outward toward thoughts, behaviors, and in our overall life circumstances. The most effective strategy is to confront it at the root in your body. You're going to want to practice habits that encourage both stability and being in tune with your body. Examples could be stretching, yoga, meditation, or even just walking while focusing on posture.
You want to spend as much time as you can with a stable mindset and feeling connected to your body. Even during downtime (watching tv, listening to music) you want to still focus on maintaining that mindset. Spend at least as much time building those habits as you are on autopilot. If you spend 3 hours playing poker and at the end you realize you were completely engrossed in it and not practicing stability, then spend at least the next three hours focusing on stability.
This stability doesn't come naturally, so you're going to have to access it and choose it over and over and over. Every second of every day from when you wake up until you go to sleep, you have to choose it. If you can't be bothered to choose it when the stakes are low, you won't able to access it when s**t hits the fan.
Your mom and sister don't want to be addicted to drugs at some level; they just feel powerless to overcome it. Don't try to communicate verbally about the issue, just lead by example. Your stability will make you non-reactive, persistent, and determined when faced with the pains and stresses of life.
At first, they may attack you because your example will threaten them as they slowly realize (through your example) that they are not as fragile and powerless as they thought. Anticipate this and prepare yourself for this through visualizations. Be non-judgmental, especially during their weakest moments, and don't allow yourself to protect yourself or feel sorry for yourself. This is a selfless act you are doing; don't seek equal treatment or validation for the sacrifices you are making.
Aim for perfection for yourself but lower your expectations for your mom and sister as low as possible. Prepare yourself for the worst by anticipating and pre-training yourself through visualizations. Absorb all the pain and stress; your mom and sister will be able to tell when you do and when you don't, and you will lose your ability to influence them when you don't. Similar to poker, trust the results will come in the long run if you execute the gameplan.