I have to say I'm not a religious person and don't consider myself a Satanist but the beliefs of the modern Satanic Church seem to be the ones that appeal to me the most.

It's somewhat funny but avoiding the Nine Satanic Sins also seem to be critical in order to improve one's poker skills.

Obviously I don't believe in all of these and there are some that are dated. The mention of magic of course is bizarre but these appeal to me more than the Ten Commandments.

The use of Satan's name in modern Satanism seems to be used only to identify their beliefs as opposing those of Christianity to a certain extent. The modern Satanic Church doesn't actually believe in the existence of Satan.

The Nine Satanic Statements

Satan represents indulgence instead of abstinence.
Satan represents vital existence instead of spiritual pipe dreams.
Satan represents undefiled wisdom instead of hypocritical self-deceit.
Satan represents kindness to those who deserve it instead of love wasted on ingrates.
Satan represents vengeance instead of turning the other cheek.
Satan represents responsibility to the responsible instead of concern for psychic vampires.
Satan represents man as just another animal, sometimes better, more often worse than those that walk on all-fours, who, because of his "divine spiritual and intellectual development", has become the most vicious animal of all.
Satan represents all of the so-called sins, as they all lead to physical, mental, or emotional gratification.
Satan has been the best friend the Church has ever had, as He has kept it in business all these years.


The Nine Satanic Sins

Stupidity
Pretentiousness
Solipsism
Self-deceit
Herd Conformity
Lack of Perspective
Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies
Counterproductive Pride
Lack of Aesthetics

The Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth

Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
When in another's lair, show them respect or else do not go there.
If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat them cruelly and without mercy.
Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and they cry out to be relieved.
Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
Do not harm little children.
Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask them to stop. If they don’t stop, destroy them.

Satanism is way more reasonable than I expected it to be.

might have to join up just to force people to respect these two beliefs

Does that mean Satanists don't tell bad beat stories?

It's kind of ironic but the world would be a better place if more people converted to Satanism.

Unfortunately most others you know would have to convert as well to benefit from this.

I'll stick with atheism.

Vengeance instead of turning the other cheek is bad imo. Sounds like going on tilt to me.

I think there is a crucial difference between venge and revenge, fwiw.

Most Satanists would self-identify as atheists iirc. Of course the converse does not hold.

What you've represented is unalloyed "Hate".

There are spiritual realities, as there should be, in our world and the cosmos and thee are two whom mankind has a deep association.

Lucifer and luciferic beings are those who would have you leave the earth especially in thought. We can see these realities in the "isms" of our times in which the advocate forgets or is too slovenly to relate his thought processes to an earth bound reality. If the luciferic beings hold sway we would "think" ourselves out of reality which in essence and profoundly is to be related to the being of Man. Lucifer would have you deny whom you are. Lucifer would only have you see the suprasensible realities thus leaving your earthly work.

Ahriman, the lord of destructive impulses would have you affected such that all a person relates to is the earth bound eliminating any consideration of the cosmos. The science of our time is Ahrimanic in that its essence is materiality. Now, there is nothing wrong with materiality for it exists but the measurement and relation of cosmic process as if they are outsourced from the earth is Ahrimanic in nature. Only the earth, no spirit or suprasensible realms, only the earth, the deceit of Ahriman. Somewhere in Hebrew lore is "Tofel" or the deceiver and this is Ahriman. MephisTOPHELes in Goethe's "Faust" is that very being called "Tofel" and "Ahriman". this being is "Satan".

You can't escape these two beings for they have a rightful place in the cosmos but in Lucifer's desire to bring forth another realm( not earth bound),with him as the titular leader divine , and Ahriman's earth centered egocentricity they have left their rightful purpose and have become the impediments of the human soul.

The Christ Impulse, is within the balance of the two, you work the earth and in the process bring forth the suprasensible and in this Lucifer and Ahriman are within their rightful place in the evolution of Man. You think and you do, heaven and earth in manifestation.

The "Temptations of Christ Jesus" noted in the New Testament can give insight to these matters.

Obviously being obsessed with vengeance upon those you perceive may have wronged you can be self-destructive and generally not conducive to your mental health.

However the "turn the other cheek" precept I believe is BS. Even most Christians don't actually practice this.

If someone committed a heinous act against me or someone important to me , the last thing that would cross my mind is forgiveness even though I have the capacity to forgive.

In an extreme example , if someone raped and murdered my wife and I met him in a dark alley , I'd do my best to inflict as much pain as possible upon him. Forgiveness wouldn't even cross my mind.

I have absolutely no idea what any of this means.

Meh.

As far as I'm concerned, saying that Satanism is "more appealing" than Christianity is like saying that AIDS is more appealing than ebola. Christianity, Satanism, Islam, Pastafarianism, whatever.. get in the f-ing sack

You say you are NOT a religious person, yet you take the time topost a lengthy treatise on a particular religion (Satanism) on these boards. Hmmmmm. Me thinks you are full of horse fertilizer

Thought I was the only one.

If Carlo posts ever start making sense to me, it's panic time.

To quote Clowny..."i hate weekend Satanists, don't you?"

A lengthy treatise ? LOL

I just copied and pasted what I found on Wikipedia. Took me all of 2 minutes.

I just find some of the Church of Satan's precepts a lot more appealing to me than any other religion I've come across and because people equate Satan with "Evil" I thought it would be interesting to demonstrate that it isn't.

If I was a Satanist I'd have no problems admitting it to a bunch of strangers on the internet.

I thought I was anti-religion

The thing is , from what I understand , so called modern Satanists don't even consider it a religion. It makes no promises concerning the afterlife and doesn't seem to involve rituals of any kind.

It seems rooted in the belief in one's own power and the world in which we live, not some of hope of some divine being and the existence of an afterlife.

If we're just going to knowingly make **** up I reckon we could do better than Satanism.

The Principles of Zumbism:

1. Be awesome
2. Science is cool
3. So are cats

Sign me up , despite being allergic to cats , I like them. Science is also interesting.

I'd be proud to call myself a Zumbist.

I'm already uncomfortable with the rapid spread of this dangerous new religion

As mentioned above, most Satanists are atheists. I don't really consider Satanism to be a religion. It's more of a combination of philosophy and parody, like Hedonism meets the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

If you're serious about spreading Zumbism you better clarify point #1. People will end up using it to lynch midgets or something.

Zplendour: Lynchin' midgets is awesome!

asdfasdf23: What? That's terrible and not what Zumbism says.

Zplendour: You don't understand, I'm a Zumbist. I'm supposed to speak for Zumby.




* Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental *

I think the bit about destroying people that bother you is a bit over the top as well.

It's too late. I'm going to spread your gospel as fervently as I can. Anyone who opposes Zumbism will be eliminated in your name. Let the midget lynching commence!

+1

Well , you would have asked them to stop bothering you once. If they don't listen it isn't your problem