Obviously, I'm not anywhere near satisfied with how things are going in my life. That is why I started this thread. It's certainly possible that I could see improvement in my life by taking some sort of medication. If things are out of my control, in my life, due to God's actions, then I have to resolve this by doing things different to get a better response from God, if at all possible.

This is a puzzle that I have to try and sort out 1.) Why does God do things and 2.) How could my actions effect God's actions towards me, no easy task. I want to sort things out using my "actions" compared to God's "actions," before I start any medication for depression. Whether I have some type of underlying problem, such as "Bi Polar" causing issues in my life is a possibility and I will consider all of that, but for now, I want to focus on God.

One theory that I have is I was put through so much in my life to prepare me for some type of Ministry. Having gone through so many depressing things in my life has made me more attuned to helping people. Ten years ago is when I really started having an interest in God. My beginning life started as a Catholic. This might be a good time for Mr Muck McFold to stop reading this and go play with a Bunny or do whatever he does to relax, as it might get a little rough in this thread. I'll try to be brief, however it's import information relating to my situation.

Hopefully we will be going over more happier thoughts in the near future, but sorrow is a part of what this thread is about.

At the age of 10 there was sexual abuse in my life and that is all I will say about that. I started taking drugs at around the age of 12. Drinking and Marijuana were to be my constant companions for the next 30 years of my life, until getting more serious about God. I used other types of drugs, but I don't think that it will add to the discussion.

My father died when I was 15. My older sister committed suicide when I was 16. I dropped out of school and went to the bar every night. Drinking in bars would continue for many years. All this drinking/drug activity would slowly start to disappear when I re found God about the age of 42. Things actually were not that bad for me in this time. I had a trust fund and no money problems. It's when the money ran out, that created stress. Lack of money is really my current problem, not paying my debts and supporting myself.

So, at the age of 16, I became certain that there was no God. This slowly went to "well, there might be a God." And then It became certain to me, that there is a God. It got so bad for me, that I had nowhere to turn, but God. Circumstantial evidence of God and being touched by God, might be the only way of finding God. I can't explain the things that occurred for me, to prove to you, that there is a God, but make no mistake. There is a God.

I have a way of presenting an argument to prove that there is a God, through circumstantial evidence, but that would take time for me to finish my theory and it goes beyond the scope of this discussion. For now, give God the benefit of doubt. A little Faith is required.

So, all this misery that I endured in my life caused me to care more about people. Concern for starving children was now a mission for me.

I was a warrior for God for over seven years of my life. I did that after many years of living in sorrow and distress. I was instilled with a great desire to help people, probably because of what I had endured in my life. Helping starving children should be addressed first. I came up with a sensible "fair" plan to feed the hungry. Now I had to tell the world. It quickly became apparent that I should be spreading the "Good News" of God. I printed out stacks and stacks of bible word searches and commentaries. My computer was very old and so I went to the library almost everyday, to use their computers.

Waking up early every day, as if, God saw to this, to make it happen, for close to 6 years, fighting for starving children and spreading the Gospel, and putting God first, waiting all that time for God to help support me in creating just a small income for myself. I tried different ways to create an income for myself, but spending almost 8 hours a day on my Myspace page was very emotional and exhausting. Even after all I was put through in life, I did this for God. I friend requested on Myspace and did over 100,000 friend requests, acquiring 45,000 friends and then Myspace deleted me.

I started another page and acquired 185,000 friends, resulting in a overall total of about 400,000 friend requests, in my whole experience at Myspace. While, all that time (almost 6 years,) having no income and in debt to the tune of $250,000. If that was not putting God first, searching for God with all my heart and showing my faith and belief in God, I surly don't know what is. Who else would do that for God? Really! I was reaching well known celebrities. Famous people were requesting my friendship. Famous people would sometimes delete my friendship, if I took them down, as one of my top friends. I used the screen name "I NEED A FRIEND" and my picture was of a sad pathetic girl. People took notice.

Finally, I rolled my car, driving home from yet another unsuccessful casino trip. I then came to the conclusion that God was not going to help me. I had lost my protection for whatever reason, maybe that is all that I could accomplish in that task. Maybe it was just a random accident. I had a responsibility to take care of my mother. Pay her money that I owed to her. To honor her. How could I help people, if I could not even support myself and meet my other obligations.

I gave my Myspace page away. I reasoned that doing great good would result in having great suffering and I accepted that. I thought that my suffering would surly stop. God would help me now, so that I could help my mother, but things only got worse. Why people get blessed or not, is still somewhat of a mystery, if God blessed everyone for doing good, then people would do even more good and then God would bless them even more and so on and so on. If it were to really work like this, then the whole world would convert, this is not the case.

That was my only success, in creating an Internet Ministry. I was successful with that, but I never made a penny on it. And not having money is my overwhelming problem. Money would also bring me hope. If this thread does not produce results, then I feel that my last chance is to start another Ministry, which would involve an idea of petitioning God. I could receive a meager salary. Maybe this is why my suffering is continuing. To tell my testimony or to start another Ministry or both. Perhaps there is a lasting suffering for my work on Myspace. But there could be other reasons.

Having just a little bit of income will go a long way in helping my situation. My mother needs attention and I have to work from my home. Income would increase my hope and then everything could go in a upward spiral.

Jesus states...

Matthew 19:21 (KJV)
21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.

Obviously, none of us are perfect. The following is from an old Myspace blog that I did. This is the least that someone should do.

Saturday, October 20, 2007
MISSION STATEMENT

To promote awareness of world hunger and alleviate suffering by educating the public on how they can contribute resources to end world hunger. I am working very hard to spread the word on world hunger and I have come up with two plans where if everyone invests their fair share of resources, the return can be donated to charities whose goal is to alleviate world suffering.

Saturday, October 20, 2007
FRIENDS

HUNGER IS GETTING WORSE - 2005 UN REPORT
God will bless the people who are doing something about the hunger situation.

(Proverbs 19:17) He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again. (KJV)

The hunger problem has been a serious issue for me, for some time. You see the result here after much praying. I believe that promoting hunger awareness along with solutions, will go a long way in helping this issue. People will try and meet their obligation when they realize what is fair. This is not an impossible situation, if everyone pulls together. God provides enough for all his people to live a decent life. The question is if they will distribute his resources equitably to bring about this state of affairs.

Eternal destinies hang in the balance. God will judge people on the basis of how they have cared for the needy in their midst.

(First Timothy 6:6-10, 17-19) Places the rich under a special responsibility to be generous. God's kindness to them should be expressed in being kind to others, storing up treasures in Heaven, not Earth.

Saturday, October 20, 2007
LOVE

Feed The Hungry

So, how are we going to go about feeding the hungry? What is fair?
1 billion people need to be fed. Cost to feed 1 billion people for a year is $180 billion (estimate). Net worth of the world is $70 trillion. Your fair share? .25 percent of your personal net worth, each year. In the above example a person with a net worth of $30,000 should donate $75 a year, each year. Now we each have a specific goal and not some arbitrary figure.

God wants you to help, if you can.

http://www.feedthechildren.org


GOOD NEWS

God has a plan for you. Pray for guidance and be patient.
Are you lost? Will you be saved?

(Rom 10:9) That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved. (KJV)

(1 John 1:9) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (KJV)

(Isa 45:22) Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I'am God, and there is none else. (KJV)

(2 Co 6:2) For he saith, I have heard thee in a time accepted, and in the day of salvation have I succoured thee: behold, now is the accepted time, now is the day of salvation. (KJV)

(Rom 10:13) For whosoever shall call upon the name of the LORD shall be saved. (KJV)

(Revelation 22:12) And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be. (KJV)

I can't thank everyone enough for their support and for being so kind to me.

Above all I thank God.

Love,
Larry

1 Corinthians 10:31
Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.

Why can no one answer a direct question here? I'm probably a bit of both, stupid and a loser. Now that we got that out of the way - Are you honestly saying that it wasnt a troll post by Pay The Line and that I should make a wish?

I didnt write it, it was a post by okayokayitsnotokay that I copied and pasted in. No one seemed to mind okayokayitsnotokay saying it to me, so I try and post whenever I can. Monkey see monkey do, mirror neurons.

8 hours a day on myspace for activism? Interesting, what did you do exactly?

I do feel as if you're avoiding the main issue; why don't you just get some sort of job, and why can't you look after your mum?

I would be interested to read your circumstanial evidence for God, but be prepared for some RGT hate if you do. And why do Christians capitalize "LORD" when speaking of him? Isn't that intimidating/cheesy?

People don't like answering the obvious; not only is it tedious, it makes one feel stupid and possibly a sucker if they think they're being played by some troll. But to anwser your question; it is highly, highly unlikely that that was a troll post, even asking such a question makes you look like a moron, and no, just because someone advises something does not neccesairly mean you should follow their advise.

So you are telling me that Pay The line believes that wishing can help me out? If it was unlikely to be a troll post, then he must have been serious right? is that what you are telling me?

Yes, though I think he was getting at something rather than per se.

Pay the line, i hope you will take my advice. If you think that praying to god and begging him to magically heal you and solve all of your problems is a constructive use of your free time, that is fine. But if there is a god who made you and wants the best for you, he would want you to try to help yourself too.

Since you mentioned bipolar i am going to go out on a limb and say you don't know much about anti depressants and how they could help you. You don't sound bipolar. But you are obviously depressed. Talk to a doctor. If one of your other organs weren't working right, you would not hesitate to take medicine to help your problem. Why is your brain different? Depression happens but being depressed every day is no way to live when a simple pill could make it all easier. There is no shame in taking one. They aren't drugs like the ones you have used in the past. It is not about getting high, it's about getting back to normal.

Friend requesting, approving comments, placing comments, bulletins, writing blogs, reading blogs, fixing my code, some studying of Scripture and different tasks.

It took a longtime to determine what I should do. I created 25 yahoo groups which amounted to really nothing.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/FEED_THE_HUNGRY_LOVE/
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/SOLVE_WORLD_HUNGER/

Myspace originally would let someone request 500 people a day, this took me about 3 hours to do. Viewing my comments were a nightmare for a Christian It was not unusual to have 50 comments to approve after friend requesting. Imagine sending out a bulletin to 185,000 people, I took it very seriously representing God. At one point I stopped taking comments. I ended up with around 20,000 comments at my 2nd page, with almost 2,000 comments that I did not approve, many videos, just didn't have the time. I tried to use different music on my play list, to motivate people.


I had to go to different libraries for more computer time, so some travel time. 3 hours minimum a day and some days I worked 12 hours. Then Myspace increased how many friend requests that could be done in a day. My best day I made 3,300 friends. So I'm doing the best that I can with how much time was involved. Certainly much of my life at that time.

Myspace blog...


Dear friends

Results for friend requests in the first 42 days.

Friend requests - 16,761
Profile views - 10,144
Blog hits - 3,055
Friends - 7,518

I request friendships at hunger sites. I hope to finish with my list of hunger sites and receive my 1,000th comment about the same time. Next I will request friendships at christian sites and groups (200,000 plus potential friends) along with posting at every major blog that I can. Finally I will target various groups on Myspace. It is reasonable to expect us to have 100,000 plus friends, given enough time.

You can help by sending letters/emails to blogs, television/radio stations and newspapers on doing a report/story about the information on this site. Thank you!

Also, please contact me if you know of any software that performs "auto friend requests". Thank you!

As our friendships grow, so does awareness, which results in more people being fed!
Everyone is an important part in making this happen!

Thank you for your help and for your support!

Love,
Larry

My mother needs attention. She has many health concerns. I have health concerns. Standing can be a problem for me, It's not as bad as it sounds, but I could have surgery on my back to improve this. I did try different ways to create an income. It's hard to explain my situation in a short amount of time. I worked 10 years on developing a system for horse racing.

I got my return to -6%. This might sound like a bad return, but I found a major problem with my system and I think that I can make a nice profit. Using rebate shops is even a better way of increasing my profit. I have no money to invest in this.

Believe me, I tried to get more money coming in. I know I could have done a better job, but after I gave away my page is when major stress occurred. I can get by on my own. I have friends that I can live with, but my mother is a big concern for me.

This might be a bit of a derail, but what was your plan to solve world hunger? In what way was your myspace page achieving this?

Genuinely interested.

Saturday, October 20, 2007

HEAVEN

Solve World Hunger
We should always try to feed as many people possible. Here is a plan in the spirit of solving world hunger, to be used in conjunction with the "Feed The Hungry Plan."

Example 1) Invest a lump sum of $4.4 trillion into the Vanguard Charitable Endowment Program.

Assumptions...
Average return on investment - 10 percent. (S&P 500)
Average rate of inflation - 3 percent.
Average operating expenses and taxes - 3 percent of investment (estimate).
Cost to feed the hungry - $180 billion a year (40 percent of investment return).

Result - Invest $4.4 trillion lump sum, with a return of 10 percent, minus 3 percent inflation and 3 percent operating expenses and taxes, is enough to support hunger.

HUNGER SOLVED

Example 2) Invest a $500 lump sum into the Vanguard Charitable Endowment Program. (Note - $100 annual fee on accounts under $15,000).

Assumptions...
Average return on investment - 10 percent. (S&P 500)
Average rate of inflation - 3 percent.
Average operating expenses and taxes - 3 percent of investment (estimate).
30 percent of return goes to feed the hungry.
40 percent of return is reinvested back into the program.

Result - The program will grow at 1 percent a year, after inflation.
HUNGER WOULD BE SOLVED IN 2,442 YEARS (Approximate)

http://www.vanguardcharitable.org

Note - Program would continue to grow and could go on to solve housing, health and education, in spirit.

My intentions were caring and honorable. I tried to help you. I used humor and I don't really see how I offended you. I said that I was sorry. I'm only human. I had another idea of you compiling your "posts" in some type of Internet book and publish it in an inexpensive manner. I thought that you had a different type of writing style, although, I did not read all of your posts. You never know what might work.

Move on.

Alright, I'm considering this. Thank you!

I'll try to briefly explain. The Bible tells us that the devil rules the world. Evil people are in control. If you realize this, then it is proof from the Bible. You could say that the Bible reflects human nature anyways. Or another way to look at it. I had asked someone if they thought if humans were inherently evil or if the universe was predicated on evil. They replied no. I thought that if I could show examples of obvious evil control, that it would relate to what the Bible speaks of.

If evil controls the world, then you can say that there is a devil and if there is a devil, then you can say (it follows) that there is a God. There must be some amount of credibility contributed to this. Morality is getting worse as stated in the Bible and I have many example's of evil actions (confusion & deception), relating to the biggest decision's made in the world, effecting how the world is run, to a large degree, that defy common sense, but I still have to work on this.

I was the one who replied no.

Humans are not inherently good, nor inherently evil. We are capable of both.

Are people good or bad?

I'll repeat.

Humans are not inherently good, nor inherently evil. We are capable of both.

I take it a step further. The very concepts of good and bad are themselves simplistic abstractions and actions or people cannot reasonable be said to be either of them in anything but a colloquial sense.

+1

It's not as if you can't take the benefits of medication and God searching at the same time either. Medication basically makes it easier to function, and cause the lows to be not so painful, they don't add any substance to your life and won't solve your problems, but will help you solve your problems.

sleep good, eat properly, exercise and medidate.

rinse and repeat.

Exercise helps in many ways... Join a meet up org that does hiking or biking trips. You'll have fun, get exercise and possibly meet women tackling a lot of your bad list.

Turn off the tv and find a hobby.

Learn photography and go on picture taking excursions.

Join a book club where you can read and discuss books with people in person. Again , it betters yourself and you can meet people. You can even read to your mom.

If you are religious, be more active in your church. Mteach youth groups. Goth adult study groups. Find ways to do this with other people... Thereby you're meeting people, potential mates and doing something better then tv and painkillers.

All good information. Thanks! The key is that I have income and then everything will fall into place. If I can't get money coming in soon, then we will have our home foreclosed and then we will have to downsize and live within our means, my mothers social security. The stress should decrease and I will be able to function better.

It's just that the seemly constant letdowns in my life gets to be very frustrating. It gets to be what are God's plans for me and do I have a choice in what happens in my life. I have learned to lower my expectations. I'll always fight, but if it ever comes down to being homeless, well, that would be something hard to accept.

I have much Faith...

Ecclesiastes 7:1(KJV)

7 A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth.

I think that people are generally good, but it's our leaders that dictate how we act. Evil controls the world. We can't even make the decision to feed the hungry, the most basic action, to help our world.

“The more I know about people, the better I like my dog.” – Mark Twain

Everybody assumes more people equals better.