Read and followed Christianity hard. Did it all, prayed fasted. Went hard in the paint. Interestingly something I looked forward too was the healing that was declared to follow all true believers. Obviously I failed as has everyone ever. No healings for thousands of years. Only the most gullible will believe the one off healing story. There is of course no one that can perform what will follow a believer as written.
Now to use my rational mind after wasting quite a few years "believing"
I look at the ocean. Seems nice, everyone thinks it looks nice. Well it is blue. But underneath is a murder fest. All living things are either eating other living things or being eaten. Now a God wants me to become "perfect" in my ways. There are big problems here, problems maybe a God could help with. Quite a few people suffering that can use help. These issues are put off on me, it up to me as if I possibly could fix it. A few problems here and there I can work on, but looking at the ocean.... someone else should do someone heavy lifting and not soon, but yesterday.
Continuing on just thinking, I conclude following any Creator is a
humiliation ritual. Zero benefits, constant shame. And blame as if without the creator of the ocean I would somehow be a killer. Well of course I'm not and I won't follow a humiliation ritual any longer.