Did Jesus Have DNA? - Page 6 - Religion, God, and Theology

I'm out of this thread.

You just asked a really filthy question.

What you asked says more about you than it says about anyone else.

"A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

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07-29-2012 , 10:46 AM

#127

augie_

missed out on bitcoin

Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 21,627

Quote:

Originally Posted by Moe Danglez

Did Jesus ever masturbate? That's an important question..I bet he was a sinner

that's probably why the only story the bible has of jesus as a youth was when he was 12 and hanging out at the temple schooling the rabbis.

right after that, he hit puberty and age 13-33 was basically spent feverishly masturbating.

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07-29-2012 , 12:32 PM

#128

Lestat

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 10,998

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splendour

This question doesn't interest me thanks.

Of course not, because it requires you to reconcile two contradictory statements you made.

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I just drew your attention to a side topic but I never intended having to logically defend my whimsical musings to you itt.

fyp.

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07-29-2012 , 03:57 PM

#129

zumby

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: May 2011 Posts: 4,277

Quote:

Originally Posted by augie_

that's probably why the only story the bible has of jesus as a youth was when he was 12 and hanging out at the temple schooling the rabbis.

The only story that made the Directors Cut, anyway.
http://www.cracked.com/article_18948...-some-ass.html

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07-29-2012 , 08:25 PM

#130

Moe Danglez

adept

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 827

Lightening round: how much would Jesus' spunk go for on Ebay? Go!

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07-29-2012 , 11:54 PM

#131

Lestat

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Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 10,998

Not to be a prude, but this is getting over the top. It's one thing to debate logic, but this thread has turned into nothing more insults and attempts at outrage. Mods please lock.

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07-30-2012 , 12:48 AM

#132

RoundGuy

banned

Join Date: Oct 2006 Posts: 10,247

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lestat

Not to be a prude, but this is getting over the top. It's one thing to debate logic, but this thread has turned into nothing more insults and attempts at outrage. Mods please lock.

I agree that a masturbating Jesus is a bit much. But then, many of us would say Mary was just a horny teenager.

This is RGT. **** happens.

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07-30-2012 , 09:05 PM

#133

Moe Danglez

adept

Join Date: May 2010 Posts: 827

I want to f*** a pregnant virgin

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07-30-2012 , 09:22 PM

#134

Tjmj90

veteran

Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2,051

Quote:

Originally Posted by Splendour

If you study blood types you'll see the "O's" are more prone to anger and very hardy, aerobically inclined.

The A blood type comes in with farming. People need to be more domesticated to work co-operatively for farming.

Would love to hear more about the relationship between blood type and personality

Last edited by Tjmj90; 07-30-2012 at 09:27 PM.

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07-30-2012 , 11:32 PM

#135

lawdude

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Join Date: May 2009 Posts: 10,305

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoundGuy

I agree that a masturbating Jesus is a bit much. But then, many of us would say Mary was just a horny teenager.

I don't have any problem with it, for two reasons:

1. I think the "human" nature of the supposedly dualistic Jesus poses real problems for believers that they don't tend to confront.

2. One of the things that makes Christianity ridiculous is the certainty that believers seem to have about people's sex lives 2,000 years ago. This from people who probably don't even know about the sexual activities of their own close relatives. If someone's offended by a masturbating Jesus, it's because they are taking an epistemological stance of being certain about things that they have absolutely no reason to believe.

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07-31-2012 , 12:28 AM

#136

BeaucoupFish

Pooh-Bah

Join Date: Jun 2005 Posts: 4,575

He is risen

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07-31-2012 , 01:26 AM

#137

asdfasdf32

True Facts

Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 13,155

Quote:

Originally Posted by BeaucoupFish

He is risen

Wow LOL

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07-31-2012 , 01:59 AM

#138

Mr Beer

banned

Join Date: Jul 2010 Posts: 5,965

Quote:

Originally Posted by lawdude

2. One of the things that makes Christianity ridiculous is the certainty that believers seem to have about people's sex lives 2,000 years ago. This from people who probably don't even know about the sexual activities of their own close relatives. If someone's offended by a masturbating Jesus, it's because they are taking an epistemological stance of being certain about things that they have absolutely no reason to believe.

Yep, he could have been an ascetic or a complete orgy-monger. Or not have existed. Also LOL @ this being 'filthy', obviously it was intended to be provocative but since Jesus was a human he presumably shat, masturbated and popped his zits like the rest of us brainy sparse-haired monkeys.

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07-31-2012 , 02:19 AM

#139

asdfasdf32

True Facts

Join Date: Nov 2004 Posts: 13,155

Quote:

Originally Posted by RoundGuy

I agree that a masturbating Jesus is a bit much. But then, many of us would say Mary was just a horny teenager.

This is RGT. **** happens.

For those interested in the irreverent, Mitchell Heisman hypothesized in "Suicide Note" that Mary was gang raped by soldiers and used the 'virgin birth' as a cover up.

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