Since I am borred, I will give you my two small talk welcome to living in LA stories.
1. When I first got here in 2016 I ended up in this little efficiency on the border of East Hollywood and Koreatown. Not a terrible part of town, but plenty of shady **** and very crowded. I had street parking which was a ***** and plays a role in this. I had been there about a year and a half when a black Friday rolled around. I use the big holiday sale weekends to go to the outlet malls to buy clothes, I spend kinda a lot of money on clothes for work. Anyways I get up bright and early that Friday, drive like the two hours to the outlet mall, and spend all day scouring the place for deals. I get my crap, load up the car and make my way back home. I get back kinda late, its been a long day, and I cant find **** for parking. I end up parking like 2/3 of a mile away from my place. I load up as much crap as I can carry (about half) and head inside. I'm beat, say **** it, and decide to leave the rest until the morning. MISTAKE. Wake up the next morning and back windshield and one of the back passenger door windows is smashed and the rest of my crap is gone. I was obviously pissed and whanot, but like within a half an hour I was just like, I can call this my city now, I have earned it, I have been robbed here, this is my city
2. This city is incredibly narcissistic, fake, superficial, etc., etc. People love to name drop the celebrities and big wigs that they know. For the most part I don't give a ****. I have had some interactions with some really famous people, and other than being a little bit uncomfortable of pretending to act like they could be just anyone else and treat them as such when you both know it is a ridiculous fiction, I have just handled the business at hand and moved on to the next thing. Fast forward to pandemic. Gyms are closed so its been a pain finding ways I will work out. For a couple months I got a used canondale and biked all over the city. One Sunday morning I was doing just that. It was at the beginning of football season and I was near the end of my ride going down the Sunset Strip. Like 50 yards ahead of walking down the sidewalk in the opposite direction I see this figure that looks familiar for some reason. A couple seconds pass and I get closer and I start to think, that looks like Dave Portnoy. A couple more seconds and I am right up on him about to pass, I get a good look and it is Dave Portnoy. I slam on my brakes, think I kinda scared him a good bit. Im kinda huffin and puffin a bit cuz I have been trying to get a halfway decent workout out in. then I blurt out something like "Holy ****, you are Dave Portnoy." He kinda winces and says something like yeah, hey. I can immediately tell he wants no part of this interaction. I try to think of something clever to say but draw a blank so I just kinda sit there for a second sweating, mouth breathing, and staring at him. The best I come up with is 'I like your instagram." I think he says thanks. And not wanting to be a creeper, I'm just like, OK, it just surprised me to see you, I will let you go, enjoy the games." I have sat next to Naomi Campbell for an hour and kept my cool. But stick me in front of a famous degenerate gambler, I lose my ****.
Fin.