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Old 09-12-2015, 08:36 AM   #7476
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

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Originally Posted by Albino Lord View Post
Found out VIA GROUP EMAIL I'm expected to work 2 extra hours today. No heads-up, no 'Hey gonna need you to stick around', simply "Here is the schedule, later!"

Joyous.
****ing corporate greed heads!
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:37 AM   #7477
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Today is Saturday
I need a haircut
maybe one last shave before my birthday

Bump
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:39 AM   #7478
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

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Hello folks
Hi, da33le!
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Old 09-12-2015, 08:47 AM   #7479
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

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I need a haircut
maybe one last shave before my birthday
Tops & tails? Gotta keep downtown groomed. The ladies love it.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:11 AM   #7480
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Srs question. Do guys get Boners while they're grooming down there?

Im afraid to Google this.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:15 AM   #7481
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

I actually considered waking GW to ask this.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:21 AM   #7482
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

No. If anything, the opposite. It's frightening to think that one quick slip of the scissors and you're a eunuch. Kinda hard to get hard with that in mind.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:22 AM   #7483
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Maybe it would be helpful to explain why I'm wondering..

If you don't then how is rape of a male possible?
If you do, the my picture in the mspaint 4lifer thread is further evidence of my psychic powers
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:25 AM   #7484
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

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No. If anything, the opposite. It's frightening to think that one quick slip of the scissors and you're a eunuch. Kinda hard to get hard with that in mind.
So then, how is male rape a real thing?
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:27 AM   #7485
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

I just realized that I know less about penises than I do about planetary and moon atmospheres in our solar system

Hold on to your hats, kids. Omg is about to get educational.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:31 AM   #7486
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

OK, serious answer: Male rape (I'm assuming you mean a woman forcing herself on a man) occurs because despite the mental rejection the man has, our nether regions work on a subconscience level. We get aroused even if the touching is unwanted.

Try giving GW a Southern Handshake (radio term) next time he's dead asleep. One part of him will wake up even if he doesn't.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:34 AM   #7487
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

In fact, psychologists have a test to determine if impotence is medical or psychological. The average male can/will have several erections while asleep. If it's medical a man won't have any while dozing.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:38 AM   #7488
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Heading back round to the sleep/male rape connection: The penis can stand at attention without the direct need for wanted sexual stimulation. Unwanted touching or even being dead asleep doesn't equate to a penis not being able to get hard.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:39 AM   #7489
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Not sure how I feel padding my OMG post count by discussing penises.
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:40 AM   #7490
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

and I'm done. Got someone else to cover the 2 hours, so I'll be leaving on time--which is now! BOOM!!!
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Old 09-12-2015, 09:44 AM   #7491
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Thanks AL!

Things I've learned.
1 tsp of semen has about 36 calories
The average erect peen is 4-6.5"
The largest one ever medically measured was 13.5"
Guys with bigger testicles are more likely to cheat
Even though there's no bone, you can actually break your penis
You can gain between 0.59-0.98 inches by using a traction device for a few hours a day over a few months.
Circumcision became envogue when Louis the xvi had to have it done due to too tight foreskin

Also, one of my neighbourhood birds flew in to the garage through the man door while I was researching this and serenaded me...I assume this is a divine sign that I am doing the Lord's work.
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Old 09-12-2015, 10:57 AM   #7492
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
I just realized that I know less about penises than I do about planetary and moon atmospheres in our solar system

Hold on to your hats, kids. Omg is about to get educational.
At least you have the excuse of not having a penis.
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Old 09-12-2015, 10:58 AM   #7493
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

I'm slowly getting ready for my little "holiday" I got some changed to $$ and I just spend even more money on clothes to wear.
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Old 09-12-2015, 11:00 AM   #7494
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

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Originally Posted by Albino Lord View Post
Not sure how I feel padding my OMG post count by discussing penises.
Penis padding is a thing now?
AL is such an innovator.
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Old 09-12-2015, 11:22 AM   #7495
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
Thanks AL!

Things I've learned.
1 tsp of semen has about 36 calories
You kids and your fad diets

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
The average erect peen is 4-6.5"
The largest one ever medically measured was 13.5"
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
Guys with bigger testicles are more likely to cheat.
Source?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
though there's no bone, you can actually break your penis
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
You can gain between 0.59-0.98 inches by using a traction device for a few hours a day over a few months.
no u, obv.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
Circumcision became envogue when Louis the xvi had to have it done due to too tight foreskin

Also, one of my neighbourhood birds flew in to the garage through the man door while I was researching this and serenaded me...I assume this is a divine sign that I am doing the Lord's work.
there's a lot of variance here, depending on the kind of bird.
Neighborhood bird suggests it wasn't a parrot or a pelican.
Generic bird suggests an important message is on its way.
Robin would be related to healing.
Magpie is representative of the devil.
Overall, birds are harbingers of death.

Pelicans are regarded as birds that symbolise self-sacrifice and the love of a parent for their children. This made me tear up a little.
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Old 09-12-2015, 11:50 AM   #7496
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Albino Lord View Post
OK, serious answer: Male rape (I'm assuming you mean a woman forcing herself on a man) occurs because despite the mental rejection the man has, our nether regions work on a subconscience level. We get aroused even if the touching is unwanted.

Try giving GW a Southern Handshake (radio term) next time he's dead asleep. One part of him will wake up even if he doesn't.
is he getting sexually assaulted for science or because kristy has just crawled out of her rock and has just seen her first peen?
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Old 09-12-2015, 11:51 AM   #7497
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristy View Post
Thanks AL!

Things I've learned.
1 tsp of semen has about 36 calories
The average erect peen is 4-6.5"
The largest one ever medically measured was 13.5"
Guys with bigger testicles are more likely to cheat
Even though there's no bone, you can actually break your penis
You can gain between 0.59-0.98 inches by using a traction device for a few hours a day over a few months.
Circumcision became envogue when Louis the xvi had to have it done due to too tight foreskin

Also, one of my neighbourhood birds flew in to the garage through the man door while I was researching this and serenaded me...I assume this is a divine sign that I am doing the Lord's work.


omg is not some sex forum!

my firends wife jerked him too hard and she broke his peen. true story
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Old 09-12-2015, 11:55 AM   #7498
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

there is one pelican and his name is poker!

also. the girl i used to **** for a bit messaged me out of the blue and told me to go to the club. not sure why, but she siad her bf doesn't like her talking to guy and now she is talking to me... told her i was gunna **** her and all she seemed cool with it.

gunna wait till like 2 am and go get her for the sexy times.
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Old 09-12-2015, 11:56 AM   #7499
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Sometimes I envy you, Luke.
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Old 09-12-2015, 11:58 AM   #7500
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Re: omg omg omg someone just invited me over their house (#154)

Quote:
Originally Posted by Schlitz mmmm View Post
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