ScreaminAsian coming in with presidential level evaluations

You know that saying is now an insult don't you?

Thanks Trump

Ever since Stormy Daniels said she was writing a tell-all book, there has been feverish anticipation about what dirt she’d reveal about Donald Trump—but it’s safe to say no one predicted this. According to a copy obtained by The Guardian, the book gives excruciating detail of her alleged affair with Trump, including one nightmarish image in which she compares the president’s penis to Toad—the incredibly annoying mushroom character from Mario. “He knows he has an unusual penis,” Daniels writes in a book fittingly titled Full Disclosure. “It has a huge mushroom head. Like a toadstool… I lay there, annoyed that I was getting ****ed by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart... It may have been the least impressive sex I’d ever had, but clearly, he didn’t share that opinion.” So, now you know.

I didn't come here to be evaluated!

I kind of feel bad for dudes with weird penises. It's like such an intimate and personal body part, and it literally goes inside another person. So for it to be weird, that must mess with the psyche.

Plenty of strange penises in porn still tho, so maybe I'm making it into more of a big deal than it is. I wouldn't really know, my penis is majestic.

Maybe Dabz will make it into porn after all.

Hey, that could be fun.

i always wondered why they don’t make a genre of porno where ugly awkward guys bang super hot chicks

why do i want to watch a bodybuilder bang a hot chick? he’s not a relatable protagonist for the audience.

like take spider-man for example: it’s not arnold schwarzenegger gaining superpowers, peter parker is a weedy nerd with zero ability who amazingly somehow does incredible things. that’s why the comic is called the amazing spider-man.

[interior: science lab]

nerdy scientist: what a long day doing science. glad i can now go home and watch tv and play video games alone. whoops

[knocks multiple test tubes with chemicals onto the ground, puff of smoke envelops him]

nerdy scientist: something is different about me but i’m still awkward and relatable to the audience

[its like a sex potion or something. pheromones or something sciencey. and a sexy lady comes on to him in the elevator, or delivers a pizza to his apartment when he’s home alone]

Yeah, not a bad idea, for me though it's all about that google glass style POV. How can I imagine myself plowing this lady if I can see some dude who clearly isn't me. You add some of that and I'm game.

Presidential level penile pardons incumming

they already solved this. it’s just pov porno through samsung vr goggles. it’s not true vr because you can’t look around but a giant image projected across almost your entire field of vision is pretty good for now until they come up with something better

but i guess you can’t be walking down the street while watching it

+1

All non POV porn is pretty gay to me. Don't want to see some other dude.

Also, PSVR is elite.

NEVER WANNA SEE A DUDE'S FACE

Lesbian porn is best to avoid this kind of shenanigans

sounds gay.

thred got good

I Lol (lol'd just ain't right).
Majestic!
I asked Google to show me things described as "majestic".
One link listed a number of things called majestic, but not a manx penis in the lot. It did highlight the ease with which one can roll from majestic to regal, or royal, or noble.
Of the seventeen things it itemized, one was noted to be "hiding its erection". It was a carving of a unicorn, in Canada. Damned Canadians.