Dear WSOP Newbies and Degenerates,
Like every year, Pokernews will soon start to publish a succession of articles aiming at giving you advice on how to save as many $$$ as possible on accommodation, flights, car rentals, meals, etc. They will even teach you where to get the cheapest Bananas in Las Vegas (Chinatown) so you don’t have to spend 7$ on a hot dog at the Rio. Since I find their articles insanely boring and repetitive (I suspect they copy/paste it every year and use the synonym feature of Words to make it look brand new), I decided to come to your rescue and publish my own set of tips. That way, you are guaranteed to scrimp on every single dollar and go gamble the whole thing on a 1500$ tournament you are likely to bust on day 1. You are welcome!
Let’s talk accommodation, shall we? Here are your options, for all budgets.
1/Splurge
Luxury hotels on the Strip – If you have deep pockets, you can stay at the Bellagio, Aria, Nobu and all the fancy options. Hell, if you happen to bink a tournament you can even get the 11,200 sq ft. Titus Villa at Caesars Palace: Three bedrooms villa including a private dining room for 10 people with a hand painted wall mural, billiard room with a bar, media bedroom with a 103-inch 3D plasma television and OSIM massage chairs, and a private outdoor garden and pool. If you are reading this, chances are it won’t be your preference.
Souped up trailer on Rio’s parking lot – If you watched Daniel Negreanu’s vlogs and decided eating Kale while watching your NHL team losing during dinner break is your thing, this option is for you. Every summer, the parking outside of the Rio literally becomes a trailer park. It’s an investment for sure, but you can’t beat the convenience.
2/Mid-range
Rio – Staying in the Rio is depressing. Food options are not great. The noise of the slot machines on the ground floor can make you crazy (more than after watching Frozen 4 times in a row with your little cousin). Still, in a word: convenience. Rooms are large and clean, albeit worn, and reasonably priced. If you bust from an event, this is the shortest walk of shame to reach your room and cry. Dinner break? You can grab something and relax in your room. Not having to screw with Uber, Lyft and cabs is a serious gain of time and $$$. Also, it means you get your private bathroom during the breaks (I will have to tell you about the bathroom situation during the breaks. If you ever saw the first 2 minutes of a marathon race, it is similar). If you plan to grind the WSOP and do not care about seeing Las Vegas, it is a solid option.
Gold Coast – Basically it is a Rio next to the Rio. This accommodation will save you some money but extend your walk of 5-10 minutes. It is literally a parking lot away. If you are fine ****ting your pants 2 minutes a day while running at 3AM between the Rio and the Gold Coast with your full bankroll in your pockets, this option is for you.
On the Strip – Vdara, The Cromwell, The LinQ, Flamingo… There are MANY options. Google will be more helpful than me here. Make sure to register to the reward program of the casino you plan to book an accommodation at to get better pricing. If it is your first time in Las Vegas and you want to explore on top of giving the WSOP a try, I strongly recommend this option.
3/” I am broke”-range
Motels – You liked the zoo outing in 5th grade and always wanted to study bed bugs? This option is for you! There are plenty of cheap motels that will cost you close to nothing, but that mean you will need a car to drive to the Rio. And that you might be itchy while wondering if you should call that 4-bet with top pair.
Your car – You busted of a tournament, went full tilt and lost your bankroll in the pit? Fear not! You can still sleep in your car, on the Rio parking lot. Your vehicle should convert into a Finnish Sauna (Las Vegas gets REALLY hot in June), that’s a complementary upgrade!
Last word of wisdom, you might be tempted to split a room with a rando you met on a forum. Unless you personally know the dude, I would pass. You can meet the most wonderful people at the tables, unfortunately, you often meet the most scummy, miserable and dishonest human beings.
If this article was helpful, or distracting, let me know and I will write the next one. Feel free to suggest what you want it to be about.
If you got offended or thought my writing is terrible, I invite you to send me letters of insults by PM.
If you are from Pokernews and want to hire me, also PM.
Love,