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Old 06-25-2016, 02:30 PM   #51
Spike McAwesome
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

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Just freaking awesome. Spike your storytelling style is vivid and hilarious. I just wish you wouldn't of caught so many damn beats.

I was really hoping your last story ended with you getting to bang Danielle as frankly you deserve it but it seems like you would of had to push some lines of friendship and been more aggressive with suggesting you two hook up than you would of been comfortable with for multiple reasons. Alas things happen as they are meant to happen I guess
It's true, I did not get to bang Danielle. I did, however, get to bang Kat. And that was... wow.

Kat and I worked in the same office space but for different companies. She was 22, dirty blonde, tall, thin, and married. We added each other on MySpace and started to trade messages back and forth during slower work times. At some point, those messages turned sexual. Not like "We should have sex with each other" sexual, but discussing all aspects of our personal sex lives, preferences, past partners, craziest scenarios, etc. I remember one in particular where she gave a very detailed, very descriptive, and VERY arousing retelling of her exact methods for oral sex. All of the conversations were enticing and there were plenty of times I had to nervously scream "Just a minute!" when being called in to my boss' office. "Please go down, please go down, please go down. Baseball, grandma making pasta, Janet Reno, cleaning up dog ****.... there we go." What we had wasn't a physical relationship, but I'm damn sure it wasn't kosher. Still, it was a little fun being so flirty and risque at work.

Fast-forwarding to: Erin and I have officially called it off. I tell Kat. She seems happy for me, but nothing in our relationship changes until about a week later. I see another MySpace message and read:

From: Kat
Hey Spike. Me and [HUSBAND] had a massive fight last night and I think we're gonna break up. Wanna ****?

I respond with the excitement of a teenage Japanese girl seeing a kitten, and we make arrangements to meet at my house at lunch. We run upstairs, we both strip down to our underwear, and I'm staring at a fantastic body in nothing but a tiny white thong. She pulls me in, grabs my dick and starts yanking on me so goddamn hard it was like she was trying to pull a better looking guy out of me through my penis. We get in to the hot and heavy action, and... it could have been the worst sexual experience of my life. We had ZERO chemistry. We never got a rhythm. She liked being completely dominated and choked while I liked slow and passionate. She wanted her head to be continuously slammed into the headboard while I wanted eye contact. It turned from being super hot to super embarrassing and frustrating really quick. I'm not sure if one of us (or both of us) were writing something comparable to fan fiction in our MySpace letters, but expectations are reality weren't even in the same time zone that day.

We finish up and go back to the office. Work, as you would expect, becomes awkward and conversations are few and far between - both in person and online. She did end up divorcing her husband, but deleted me from her MySpace list the day her company moved out of our office space, and I never heard from her again

HOWEVER - unlike the Danielle story... I do have Kat pics. No, I'm not going to share them.
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Old 06-25-2016, 03:14 PM   #52
Spike McAwesome
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Thursday, June 23 - A day that will determine MY ENTIRE FUTURE.

I decide that I'm becoming too shaggy and need to do something about it. I have naturally curly hair and it's been surprisingly humid around here, so even if I keep my hair relatively short, it pops up. In high school, I had an afro. It would flop around everywhere and got so big that the DMV had to cut off my chin to make room for all my hair in my first license photo. I really wish I had kept that one, but I do have a shortened/cleaned up pic in my yearbook. I might try to dig that up.

Nothing but the best:



There's actually a salon I'll go to occasionally called Fino for Men on Sahara and Tenaya. They do a fantastic job, and a haircut + beard trim is only like $40 or $50. But it's at least an hour commitment and I've got somewhere to be relatively soon. I go home and trim the beard myself:



In nearly four years together, my wife has never seen my chin. Actually she's never seen any of my chins (FAT DUDE JOKE YEAH BABY!!!)

Alright, let's go cause trouble. I approach Trop and the Strip and try to plan my next move. I could go play 1/2 at MGM:



Or maybe whatever terrible games they're running at Excalibur:



Errr... wait, this isn't the Strip:



(Side note: Expect the Hooters to be sold off soon. Those rumors started as soon as the 'World's Biggest Hooters' was built inside the Palms)

Here's shots of the land where Sheldon Adelson wants to build a football stadium:




Literally across the street from the airport:



So wait... if I'm not going to play poker on the Strip, then where am I off to? Oh... Oh I see:

Spoiler:


In addition to being a sarcastic internet troll, I'm also a grad student over at UNLV. Our program is in a period of transition - hiring a ton of new professors, new program name, new courses being offered, new program coordinator... And with this transition comes chaos. So my cohort set up a meeting with the coordinator to talk about what our plans for the fall semester should be. Ever have one of those meetings where you leave more confused than when it started? Going in to the meeting, I knew one of the two classes I would be taking in the fall. During the meeting, we find out it won't be offered until the spring. Now, I'm screwed. We were given vague instructions on what types of courses to look for in related programs, but none of us left the meeting happy.

**** it, I'm already east. I'll call my friend who has today off and see if he wants to join me at:





I appreciate that they advertise Omaha as a permanent fixture, and not just the occasional "If we get enough interest". I get to the room:



And there's like six tables of Omaha and limit going, but only an interest list for 1/3. The list for 2/4 was about 18 people long and frankly, I don't want to play limit in the first place. So even though this was on my list of places to play, I make the executive decision to scrap the "Half hour of play" requirement from each room. This will come in handy tomorrow.

I call my friend back and ask what he wants to do. He scours Bravo and says our best game is probably at the Bellagio. Ugh. How cliche. But I'm left with no real choice. We run over to the B. They have a handful of extra tables set up over by the sports book, and every table - in the poker room and in the book - are completely filled save one empty one. I put my name and my friend's name on the list for 1/3, and not five minutes later, that empty table becomes a brand new 1/3 game. Awesome. This was the view directly above my head:



I buy in for $200 and get the big blind first hand. A European (who I would later find out is just a hyper-aggressor) raises to 9. I call with A3 just to defend and see what happens. Flop K54r. I check, he bets $10. I kinda get the feeling this is a c-bet and call. Turn is the beautiful, wonderful 2. I check, he bets $15. I'm convinced he's got nothing, maybe something like 77 to JJ and is worried about the K, but I just couldn't stop myself from raising to $45. He tanks for about 30 seconds and folds. At least I was right about him having nothing, but I don't think I'm getting another dollar from him in that pot.

A few orbits later, I'm UTG with JJ. I raise to $15 and expect to just take it down then. Nope. Another European who has thus far only played any two broadway cards calls. Flop KJ6. I bet $20. He thinks about it for a minute and raises to $60. There's no chance he has KK here, right? He would have raised me pre-flop with KK, right? AK, KQ, KJ and QT are the most likely scenarios given his pre-flop calling range. Maybe 66 which would be the dream, but I honestly don't know what to make of that bet. I call. Turn is a Q. I check, he bets $50. Gotta be KQ. He has to have KQ. I decide to go all in, and this dude beat me into the pot and triumphantly turns over AT. You've gotta be ****ting me. Yeah I hit a gutter in that first hand, but at least I didn't RAISE the ****ing thing. I tell the dealer to pair the board, and he obliges with another Q on the river.



I dust off some a little later with KJ<55 on a board that ran out 543KJ, but still cash out $275 for a nice little profit. The wife left work earlier than anticipated, otherwise I would have stuck around.

I grab some life fuel on the way home:



The cat is displeased about being woken up from his nap:



Debating between doing the 2pm or 5pm at the Rio today, if I'm even awake enough to do a tournament.
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Old 06-25-2016, 03:19 PM   #53
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

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Chris, Danielle and I walk in, and we're greeted by this dude who's so big, I'm partially convinced he was actually four guys sewn together.
Ha, reminds me of a time when a buddy of mine came out to visit from Houston and we ended up in Vegas for some reason. On a Monday, at about 1 pm we go into Little Darlings. There are only 5 girls in there and 1 other guy besides my buddy and I, so it's very relaxed. My buddy and the bouncer start "talking shop". My buddy is 6'10" and 290 and lifts. The bouncer is "only" 6'5" but goes about 350, and was literally doing curls with a couple of the strippers. At the same time. I find out a couple years later that my buddy got inspired by this guy to really hit the gym and the last time I saw him his weight was unknown because the scale at Gold's pegs at 350.

WRT hockey, I still have my Sharks playoff beard. I lived in San Jose for over 20 years, don't know **** about hockey, but I was glued to the tv for every playoff game this year.
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Old 06-25-2016, 06:31 PM   #54
Stu Ungar
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

How is this thread not 5 stars yet?
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Old 06-25-2016, 07:30 PM   #55
Spike McAwesome
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Quick side-note here: I was walking in to the TI last night and this guy strikes up a conversation. He's been here since 1959 so I ask him what he thinks of the new MGM pay-to-park scheme... was it a long-time coming, or does this really go against the heart of what Vegas is all about? He said "Oh, I work for MGM..." and I apologize. I didn't mean to put him in a tough place. He continues, "... and I think they'll scrap the program in six months, tops."

Apparently, now that they've started the program and they're counting the profit/loss statements, they're expecting upwards of a 40% DROP in revenue across ALL properties. Couple that with the money they sunk into this, and it's been a major kick in the dick for corporate. This guy (and he's just some guy... maybe there's a VP who will come out and say differently) thinks that once they've recouped the money they put in to building the gates and payment kiosks, they'll ditch the idea completely. It actually would be an easy PR sell: "You spoke, we listened. We're getting rid of..." etc., and so on. Stay tuned.

Sharing two more pictures for a side story because this one always makes me laugh. Even if you guys don't enjoy it, as Christopher Hitchens once said, "It's not in my nature to let go a captive audience".

It's February, 2009. I'm still technically married but newly single. I've got a house to myself and good friends around me. Things were bleak there for a while, but now I have time to get my life back in order. This should usher in a long period of staying single, self-reflection, and just becoming the best "me" I can be. And if you've been following along, you know I'll inevitably **** this up.

About a week later, I meet Jamie. She's an incredibly sweet girl who just got out of a ****storm of a five year relationship. Her ex was abusive, would cheat on her at every opportunity, would disrespect her in front of friends and family, and was a DJ. Not sure why that last bit is what bothers me the most, but I'm an old curmudgeon and a former drummer. DJs don't impress me at all. Personal preference I guess. Jamie and I hit it off and have a lot of laughs together. We become involved almost instantly and she starts spending more and more time at my place. She was de facto moved in by April.

That following September, I'm finally able to complete the short sale on my house, and I need to move out NOW. We find an apartment up in Centennial Hills (which I highly doubt any of you tourists have been to, but it's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay up in the extreme north west part of town) and settle in. She decides she wants to adopt a dog from a shelter. I agree, especially after giving up my two previous dogs to Erin. We drive down to the SPCA to look for dogs to adopt, specifically this one Chihuahua with GIANT ears. These things were like satellite dishes. Come to think of it, maybe they WERE satellite dishes and she was beaming back information to the Mexican government. Or maybe I've been listening to too much Alex Jones.

The Chihuahua was no longer available for adoption when we got there, so we took a stroll around some of the cages. Jamie got distracted and I soldiered on ahead. As I walk in to one wing of cages, the dog in the first cage goes BAT**** and starts barking his head off at me. Wow, I think. What a nutcase. I guess I can stroll right past him. As Jamie enters the same wing, I warn her to watch out for that first dog. He seems mean. She looks down, the dog looks up and starts wagging his tail like his long-lost owner just came back to get him. He slams his body against the side of the cage, Jamie bends down to pet him... you can probably figure out the rest.

Meet Beans:




He's some sort of terrier or terrier mix. We think possibly Glen of Imaal terrier, but that breed is so rare we just can't quite place him. Still, he's got that sort of sturdy body, short-legged look. Who knows.

So Jamie had never really owned a dog before. This was new territory. She left for work one day, and when she came home, Beans was clearly excited to see her. I mean excited. I mean really excited. I mean... eh **** it. He had a boner. Jamie sees this new appendage protruding from her poor dog and flips. the. ****. out. She has no idea what's going on and, more importantly, I'm not there to calm her down. I get the phone call "Beans is hurt! Beans is hurt oh my god!" I ask her to explain what's happening, and I start laughing. She freaks out even more! "Why are you laughing he's really hurt!!!" I guaranteed her that he wasn't hurt, but if it would make her feel better, go ahead and call the vet. She angrily hangs up on me.

About half an hour later, she calls me back. She's part laughing, part crying, part hyperventilating. I ask her to calm down and tell me what just happened. Apparently, she called the vet and explained the same thing to them. They started asking questions. "Has his diet changed?" No. "Did he eat anything he wasn't supposed to?" No. "Did he get in a fight with another dog?" No, but now Jamie is getting impatient. And then...

Vet: "Well, is he in any pain?"
Jamie: "I don't know! He doesn't speak English!!!"
[30 SECONDS OF SILENCE]
Vet and Jamie simultaneously start laughing hysterically. Everyone calms down and the vet explains that, yes, even dogs who have been neutered can still get erections. It's not a big deal. The vet then thanks Jamie for giving them their biggest laugh in a month.

That sucker still makes me laugh every time. Anyway, my friend and I are playing the 7pm nightly over at the Golden Nugget. Looking at some of these daily tournament structure sheets from around town, this one honestly impressed me a great deal. Slightly higher rake than the 5pm at WSOP (25% instead of 21.6%), but one extra early level so you'll get a little more play. I went to FIVE different poker rooms yesterday. I'll start uploading and typing now. With any luck, I'll be able to hit submit before I leave.
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Old 06-25-2016, 08:07 PM   #56
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

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How is this thread not 5 stars yet?
voted. stories need to continue.
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Old 06-25-2016, 09:02 PM   #57
Spike McAwesome
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Friday, June 24 - A really long day

I don't do well with mornings. I don't get out of bed right away. I have a clock radio situated across the room that blasts mariachi music for my first alarm, plus a couple of different alarms on my phone. I stay up too late and I'm typically doing things that would prevent me from falling asleep easily. I've been on this schedule for 15+ years now. You'd think I'd have learned my lesson.

It's my vacation, so you can imagine my surprise when the mariachi music starts going at 6:45. I spring up, and see my wife fully dressed and smiling at me. "Morning! My flight leaves at 9 so we should head to the airport soon." Oh, right... I nearly forgot she was leaving today. My wife's firm is doing a staff retreat weekend to Seattle, so I said I'd take her to the airport. Fortunately, she's more of a morning person and volunteered to drive. Bonus win: She's flying from Terminal 3. I'm a happy but groggy man.






Terminal 3 is half international, half JetBlue and a couple of other airlines. A few other airlines have ticketing and security checks at T3, then ship you over to T1 for your actual flight. And it's always empty. I think the longest I've ever waited in a security line is 10 minutes. The parking situation is a breeze, too. I actually yell at people when I take them to the airport and they tell me they're flying from T1.

I say goodbye to the wife and start my weekend of being a bachelor. Though truth be told, she works so much I'd much rather be able to spend the weekend with her. We've got big plans for next weekend, though, so stay tuned for those pics.

After grabbing some breakfast, I get home around 8 and debate on what I should do. I could go back to sleep and just play this afternoon, or I can stay up, go to bed at a reasonable hour (and start to get back to a normal schedule for when I have to go back to work on Monday). I opt to stay up, and start looking at more of the rooms I've not yet played in. Santa Fe Station has a noon tournament for $50. That would take care of a couple of my to-do items (the room + a donkament). I head north and get there at about 11:30:





Seating area for breaks or spectators:



I'm 36. The next to me was maybe late 30s, early 40s. If we combined our ages, we would have been the youngest person in tournament by 10 years. To wit, FoxNews was running on 3 of the TVs:



One younger guy showed up late but busted out pretty quickly after his hyper-aggressive style ran in the nitty steadiness of the older players. There were 11 of us total for a prize pool of less than $500. At 3 handed, we agree to pay a bubble. I agree for a couple of reasons: a) the blinds are going up WAY too fast and no one has any chips left - this isn't poker, this is bingo, and b) ever tell an old guy you don't want to pay a bubble? Get ready for the next 45 minutes listening to the stories of every ****ing time this guy witnessed some "young punk" say no to paying a bubble, then be the next one to get knocked out. I'm here to play, not take on aggravation. Pay the damn bubble.

One guy gets knocked out, and I'm head's up against the only player at the table I was worried about, and he's got me 3:2. I'm honestly surprise he didn't mention a chop, since that sort of thing seems like standard practice for old timers, but I'm glad he didn't. Two hands later, I double through him with KT > 86, and we get it all in on an T85 board. Very next hand, he shoves pre, and I look down at JJ. Call, he rolls over J4 and I hold. $250 to me after paying the bubble and tipping the crew. Not bad.

Since I'm so far north, there's only one other room in the area at which I haven't played. There used to be two, but Aliante got rid of their electronic machines back in May. Off to the Cannery:





I actually really like the Cannery's decor - 1940's Americana and pin-up girls. These might me NSFW:

Spoiler:


I find the poker "area" and it's three tables, but only one is running. I put my name in for the list for the 2/6 spread limit game. I haven't played spread limit since either the Texas Station ran 2/6 spread or the El Cortez's old 1-2-6 spread game from back in the day. I'm fourth on the list so I decide to grab a bite to eat:



Takes about half an hour to eat while I check my phone for updates. I go back to the podium, and there's been zero movement on the list. Eh, I've got other places to see and better ways to use my time. I tell them to go ahead and remove me, and I head south.

If you've never been on Boulder Highway, I really wouldn't recommend going there. If you must go there, stick to either Sam's Town or Eastside Cannery. I seem to be immune to good advice:





The Skyline casino is a locals joint that looks more like a disco room than a casino. EVERY wall has mirrors on it. They have separate rooms for the games that still use coins, and a room for deuces wild. I see a sign for live poker and head over:




I should have known. Single table games in joints like this don't run all the time. I went with my wife up to Ely last spring and it was the same up there. One table in one casino for the locals, and it only ran Friday and Saturday nights. Ely was also the only time I've ever seen players, dealers, and floor managers smoking in the pit. It's a weird place. I guess I can't be faulted for not playing at a place if the game isn't running, right?

I told another friend of mine about my plan and listed all the places I haven't been. He paused and said "Wait, you've played at Club Fortune?" Oh yes, I have. Club Fortune is way out in old Henderson. It's relatively new (less than 20 years old) and a locals joint, but it's been rode hard and put away smoky. About six months ago, I noticed that they had a tournament running with like 20k in starting chips, plus a $1 add-on for more chips, and the dollar went to a homeless shelter. Or if not the $1, you could donate a canned food item. Just a cool little thing that got me through the door anyway. The tournament structure is as awful as you would expect, but there were over 20 people there (maybe 30+). I went back that following weekend and played some .50/1 no limit, and the game was so easy. I busted after running KK into AA, but I've been meaning to go back. And since I'm in the area...






I actually like that room quite a bit. It's run like a locals room, with rakeback deals, a promo where you get paid if you get one flush in every suit, aces cracked, bad beat, etc. But the staff are actually SUPER competent and really know their stuff. The manager runs a good room and they should be proud of what they've put together over there. I put my name on the list, but for some reason today, the smoke from inside the casino was bothering me just a little too much. I stuck it out for about half an hour, then had to leave before my asthma really started acting up. Note to self: I should probably start carrying around my inhaler a bit more.

I take it easy for a bit, then decide I'm going to do the 10pm at TI. When I first started doing tournaments, I would only go with my friend Joboo (I'm bad at making up fake internet names). He worked until 9 or 10, and we would go play the 11pm at the Stratosphere. It was a really player-friendly structure until about level 8 or so, then it got kind of turbo. But low rake + 40+ players nearly every Friday-Saturday night made for some juicy prize pools. It was a continuation of the old 11pm at the Sahara, if any of you ever played that one.

A while back, the TI started their 10pm tournaments and they guaranteed $1500 prize pools. The crowd started to shift that way - an hour earlier and a guarantee? Why not? The structure was nearly as good as Strat (but not identical). The guarantee brought a lot of people, and being in that section of the Strip drew a lot of action. The Strat took a gamble, lowered their entry fee and starting stack for all tournaments hoping to become the preference for local nits. It backfired big time, and the 11pm never recovered. They had lost their audience, and were scrapped completely.




They say Saturday nights are even bigger than Fridays:



Ran up a nice little stack:



Then dusted off about 90% when I made a really terrible call of an all-in and lost a flip (I'm lucky it was a flip). Lost the rest when I had AQcc and shoved 1.3bb and the SB woke up with AA. C'mon.

I don't often see poker promo signs that don't use AA or AK as the hole cards:



It's about 3am and I'm starving. I decide to hit up some Pepe's:




So much for my "Go to bed at a reasonable hour" plan.
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Old 06-26-2016, 05:29 AM   #58
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

This is the best. Love it
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Old 06-26-2016, 08:06 AM   #59
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

I've really been enjoying you stories this past week. Please continue the thread when you go back to work.
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Old 06-26-2016, 09:05 AM   #60
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Spike awesome post, thanks for sharing the visits to the local dives.


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Old 06-26-2016, 09:38 AM   #61
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

OMG, this is the greatest trip report I've ever seen. Just came in to answer one question...

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Originally Posted by Spike McAwesome View Post
Side note: If anyone works for the dental field - is there any benefit (apart from the cosmetic) of replacing metal fillings with the ceramic white ones? I had a couple of my metal fillings replaced. The fillings were holding up well and had no issues, but they were 30 years old. I got them replaced with ceramic and I had MAJOR sensitivity to cold. Like, I couldn't drink anything cold without wincing. That's a problem in the desert. I had it fixed and it's better but not perfect. I can definitely feel the cold way more than I could with the metal. That's just weird to me.
I am not a dental professional; however, my dentist is. First time I saw him, he took a look at my ceramic fillings (from another dentist) and said, "I can't believe there are people that would put that **** in your mouth." Apparently they don't last near as long, and yes, they tend to not be as effective.
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Old 06-26-2016, 11:14 AM   #62
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Dear Pulitzer Committee: Give Spike his prize. Thank you.
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Old 06-26-2016, 03:07 PM   #63
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

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How is this thread not 5 stars yet?
Was going to vote 5* until I saw a Ducks and a Canucks sweater. Some things just can not stand.
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Old 06-26-2016, 04:50 PM   #64
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Are you collecting souvenir chips from each of these obscure casinos or are you not into that?
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Old 06-26-2016, 09:06 PM   #65
Spike McAwesome
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

I just went back over the thread and I'm going to try and answer/comment on anything I missed in the past. For everyone saying they enjoy the thread, hopefully I can pull out a few more stories (like Grease 2, 'Gentleman Style', free open bar on the High Roller, ruined burger, and a few more that I'm sure will pop up) that will keep the thread going. Otherwise, I've got a trip planned next weekend that will make most of you and all of your wives/girlfriends so goddamn jealous, I may get punched in the head.

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Damn I can only imagine that ****ty feeling where you find out your Wife is sleeping around. I had a girlfriend sleep around behind my back and it was horrible.

Ended up having a kid with her. She disappeared when our Daughter was 3 (she's 9 now) because she loved the heroin, meth and dick. I received a random text message from her one night but didn't know it was her. I looked up the number on google and BAM I found a backpage hooker ad for her.

I know the feeling in a different way. Glad you were able to escape it with no kids.
I'm not going to gloat, but GODDAMN am I lucky I dodged the kid bullet. This was by design. We didn't have sex again once I found out about the prostitution, and we had basically stopped having sex by that point. I just wasn't into it at all anymore. Maybe my lack of affection drove her into the arms of other men. It's possible.

It's not the first time I'd been cheated on, either. I was with a girl in high school for about 3 years. We lost our virginities to each other and all that jazz. Once we went away to college, we decided to see other people, but made a "no below the belt" promise to each other. For her, that lasted about 10 days. She drove up to some beach party somewhere and banged a guy the first night. She told me about it soon thereafter and we split. I was devastated.

Actually holy ****. I just remembered that break up. I was in my freshman year dorm room when I got the call. I'm crying, asking her why and what happened and the typical pre-self-loathing questions that are the predecessor for drowning your sorrows in alcohol. This was not a solution for me, however, as I don't drink, so I got to feel each and every pin prick of pain that came with her answers. We're about 10 minutes into the conversation when my roommate comes back from class. He sees that I'm a mess, and does what any good roommate would do - strips down to his whitey tighties, puts on some Guns n Roses, grabs his guitar, and starts singing & playing along. I was less than amused. I took the rest of the call out in the hallway, and the next day the roommate and I agreed that he should move down the hall and the Cuban Jew should move in to my room.

More power to you, man, for raising the kid (assuming that you are actually raising the kid). Takes a real man to do that.

Quote:
Originally Posted by sheetsfaced View Post
Man and I thought I had a lot of good stories from my three years of living in Vegas in my mid-twenty's. I'm glad I randomly decided to click on this thread.
Start up your own thread! I love hearing about what other crazy **** locals get in to. And these are just the stories from a guy who's had a relatively boring life.

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Originally Posted by decoop99 View Post
This is one of my favorite threads ever.

Next time I am in town, would love to buy you dinner at Jjanga. One of my favorite spots.
Definitely. My wife and I have gone so often, I think I've filled up 8 or 9 of those "Buy 10 get one free cards".

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Originally Posted by pig4bill View Post
Ha, reminds me of a time when a buddy of mine came out to visit from Houston and we ended up in Vegas for some reason. On a Monday, at about 1 pm we go into Little Darlings. There are only 5 girls in there and 1 other guy besides my buddy and I, so it's very relaxed. My buddy and the bouncer start "talking shop". My buddy is 6'10" and 290 and lifts. The bouncer is "only" 6'5" but goes about 350, and was literally doing curls with a couple of the strippers. At the same time. I find out a couple years later that my buddy got inspired by this guy to really hit the gym and the last time I saw him his weight was unknown because the scale at Gold's pegs at 350.
I don't get the body building thing. It just doesn't make sense to me. I understand wanting to be healthy and in shape, I understand wanting to lift weights, especially if you're a bouncer or in some kind of field that requires a lot of physical activity. I don't get wanting to be so massive you look like a foot covered in callouses, or like a burnt apple fritter.

As for Little Darlings, I have a quick story from there. My (first) bachelor party was supposed to kick off there. I arrived first since my friends were all coming from their rental home in Rhodes Ranch. They decided to shoot some dice on their homemade 5 cent craps table. One guy runs $2 to $9.95 and decides he wants to bet the field to try to win the extra nickel. The guys tell him don't worry, we'll spot you the nickel so you can get the even $10. No no, he says. Money won is sweeter than money handed. So he bets 5 cents on the field, and loses. Then 10 cents. Loss. 20 cents. Loss. 40 cents. Loss. He Martingales his entire goddamn stack, and loses every single roll. It's almost as if these games are designed to have a huge house edge. Who knew?

They show up like an hour late. When they finally do arrive, they pay for me to get a bunch of lap dances. And who's going to say no to free lap dances? My friend Steve (who we'll get to in another post) calls over this super skinny black girl and has her take me to the back room. Excellent. Pro tip: Black girls always give the best lap dances. Always. She takes me to the back and says "If you can guess where I was born, I'll take care of you" winky face winky face hand gesture winky face. "I'll even give you a hint. It's somewhere in Africa." My brain cranks into overdrive and I start to think. If she's asking me this question, it's somewhere really "rare" or "unknown". So not something like Egypt or South Africa. There are a few places I can think of, but I decide to guess the former home of my co-worker: Eritrea.

This girl went from black to ghost white in about .000005 seconds. "How did you know? Did someone tell you oh god I could get fired..." I start laughing my ass off. It was a lucky guess, don't worry, you don't have to do anything. I'm getting married and I wouldn't want to go that far anyway. So thank you, African North Korea. You nearly got me a nice tug job at Little Darlings.

Quote:
WRT hockey, I still have my Sharks playoff beard. I lived in San Jose for over 20 years, don't know **** about hockey, but I was glued to the tv for every playoff game this year.
Hockey is so fun, doubly so live. I'm from Boston and wish I knew how to skate. Our high school hockey players were treated like football players in Texas.

Quote:
Originally Posted by True North View Post
I am not a dental professional; however, my dentist is. First time I saw him, he took a look at my ceramic fillings (from another dentist) and said, "I can't believe there are people that would put that **** in your mouth." Apparently they don't last near as long, and yes, they tend to not be as effective.
Yeah I wish I had some some research on these things before I just blindly agreed. Fortunately, they said $600 out of pocket, but then the insurance covered $200 extra. I got a rebate out of it, so that's something.

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Originally Posted by jcorb View Post
Dear Pulitzer Committee: Give Spike his prize. Thank you.
I think the Pulitzer should add a category for internet commentary. Automatically eliminated: all comments posted to the Las Vegas Review-Journal website.

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Originally Posted by NhlNut View Post
Was going to vote 5* until I saw a Ducks and a Canucks sweater. Some things just can not stand.
Ahahaha. My collection is pretty strong right now but I've got a long way to go. I actually have two 'Nucks sweaters: a blank current home jersey I got in Vancouver this past summer, and the black replica from the '94 Stanley Cup season, complete with #10 and "BURE" on the back. Hell yes.

So far I have four Bruins jerseys (home Bergeron, away blank, 3rd Rask, and a Bourque that I framed and put in my office); then the Ducks, two Canucks, Blackhawks Toews, Stars Peverly (because anyone who dies on the bench is a goddamn hero), Flames 3rd, Sabres Miller, Blues 3rd Oshie, Panthers, Wings, Jets, Canes, Whalers, UNH, UMass Lowell, Wranglers home and away, Thunder home and away, Finland, Charlestown Chiefs Hanson #17... that might be it. I think I'll be in Columbus for their home opener against the Bruins, so a Jackets 3rd is definitely in order. Plus, I'll be paying an obscene amount of money for a game issued Vegas jersey from their home opener. I don't know how much or if they'll even be for sale, but this number will make heads spin.

Random note about the jerseys: I've worn all of them around town at some point or another. The one that got the most attention from the ladies: Red Wings.

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Originally Posted by drbeechwood View Post
Are you collecting souvenir chips from each of these obscure casinos or are you not into that?
Oh no, I'm very in to it:



(and yes, that is a Wynn Macau in the lower left)

Believe it or not, the only place from Friday's expedition where I needed a chip was the Skyline. I'm very familiar with the Santa Fe. When I lived in Centennial Hills, that was my go-to place. Plus I won like $3500 on a trifecta bet on the Kentucky Derby there in 2008. I definitely have a chip from every place downtown. I'll have to go back to my list and see but I don't think I'm missing too many (if any) from the Strip. It may just be a few random places like the Longhorn Casino.

I also check every bill I get and pick out ones with cool serial numbers:



I may need new hobbies.

I can cram my Saturday report at the end here since it's not too long:

I keep the morning and afternoon simple as I'm planning on doing the 2pm at the Rio. I play some Overwatch and grab some food at Tropical Smoothie Cafe. I start watching TV, 2pm comes and goes, and I just don't feel like gaining momentum to go out. I text Joboo and see what he's up to. He says he was going to do a 7pm tournament somewhere, but he may do the 5pm at the Rio if he gets out of work in time.

At 4:15 he calls and he's out. Great. So now we're debating: Rio 5pm, Orleans 7pm, or Golden Nugget 7pm. We decide on the Nugget because a) downtown is damn fun, and b) it gives one extra level of early play and all other factors (level time, rake, starting stack) are about equal.





Really uneventful tournament and I'm out early in level 5 after shoving 12bb with AQ and losing to JJ. The dealers though. Oh my god are they bad. It's almost like the hiring notice said "Did you get rejected from dealing the WSOP? No problem! We just need bodies!" Well, I take that back. Of the handful of dealers I saw, one was truly awful, one was fantastic, the rest were just pretty bad. But that really bad one made a mistake that caused a player to make a bigger mistake.

Three way all in preflop:
Seat 1 has 4000 chips and 44.
Seat 3 has 7000 chips and AQ.
Seat 6 has 10000 chips and KJ.

Board runs out 10 high with a 4 on the river just for funsies. Dealer says "Seat 1 gets the main pot" and counts it down. Then starts pushing the side pot over to seat 6. Before anyone notices the problem, the guy in seat 3 gets up and walks away. Once the mistake is realized, a couple of guys went looking for seat 3 but he was long gone. His deadstack outlasted me, though, so maybe it was a solid strategy.

I jump over to the cash game room and jump in at 1/2. I always forget that their game is uncapped, and my $200 buy-in is dwarfed by 3 players who each have over $1000. Two players are shorter than me, but not by much. The action is insane. Third hand in, I lose about $80 with AQ < A8 on A8x flop. The very next hand, I get 99. It folds to me and I raise to $12. I get four callers, all of whom have bigger stacks than me. Flop is 872r. The SB leads for $18 and I just go ahead and shove. I figure this will easily scare off AK/AQ hands, might scare off straight draws, and should put me in a good spot against TPTK type hands. One guy says "I think you're on some kind of draw so I call". The turn is another 2 and the river is a K. I say "Just an overpair". Caller rolls his eyes, shows A8, and mucks. I show the 99 just to be nice and take down a big pot. The action goes pretty crazy for a while, then a couple of the biggest stacks leave and the game tightens up. Then, the Texan came.

I don't play in big, juicy games like this. I don't see action like this, ever. But maybe this will come as a surprise to some of you: I witnessed my first $1000+ pot (I was not involved). The Texan had just come over to the table, with 3 stacks of red, about $1000 in black and another $1000 in bills. He's in late position and open raises to $12. SB raises to $30. Back to the Texan who makes it $70. SB shoves all in for something like $570. Texan goes into the tank and says "I know you have aces, but I'm just not good enough a player to fold this. I call" and shows KK. Of course, SB turns over AA and they hold. Texan takes a little dent, but it doesn't seem to bother him too much.

The pot is counted and the Texan pulls out 5-$100 bills and some chips. The SB takes the bills and puts them in his wallet. This spazmatic sperglord in seat 3 screams "YOU CAN'T TAKE MONEY OFF THE TABLE!" The SB apologized, didn't realize that was a thing since his casino doesn't allow cash to be played. Spergy won't let it go. "BULL****. NO CASINO ALLOWS YOU TO TAKE ANY MONEY OFF THE TABLE - CASH OR CHIPS. DON'T GIVE ME THAT INNOCENT 'I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M DOING' THING. I'VE BEEN PLAYING 50 YEARS AND I'M SICK OF YOU GODDAMN TOURISTS TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS KIND OF ****!! PUT THE MONEY BACK ON THE TABLE". So of course, the SB does what any rational person would do - he racks up and wishes us all a good night. Good job, dip****. The Texan starts laying in to spergy, and for about six straight hands, he just won't shut up about how dumb tourists are and how he can't stand them and on and on and on. It's late, I'm tired, and I'm sure as **** in no mood for this. I rack up and book an $85 win.

Las Vegas Boulevard at Oakey is a strange place. It's got a bunch of really good places to eat:

Viva Las Arepas - Venezuelan food (essentially sandwiches) that are really good
Super Burrito - GIGANTIC burritos
Luv It's - best frozen custard in town and it's not even close
Vickie's - greasy spoon diner

The only one of these I'd never been to before is Vickie's, even though I love that kind of food. It's attached to a now-out of business market, so it's the only business left:





It's hard to take pictures of food when you're eating at 1000 miles per hour, but if you like solid diner food with no bull****, I highly recommend it.
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Old 06-26-2016, 10:30 PM   #66
pig4bill
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

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Originally Posted by Spike McAwesome View Post
I don't get the body building thing. It just doesn't make sense to me. I understand wanting to be healthy and in shape, I understand wanting to lift weights, especially if you're a bouncer or in some kind of field that requires a lot of physical activity. I don't get wanting to be so massive you look like a foot covered in callouses, or like a burnt apple fritter.
At first it was just a competitive thing. A mutual biker friend lifted a lot, and so my buddy, who was kinda flabby with a beer gut, decided someone his size should have some muscles. Same when he met the Little Darlings bouncer, he wanted bigger muscles than that guy. He's not ripped btw, just has gigantic arms, like Hulk Hogan wished he had arms that size.

Quote:
Hockey is so fun, doubly so live. I'm from Boston and wish I knew how to skate. Our high school hockey players were treated like football players in Texas.
I went to school at Northern Arizona University, which had a really good hockey team at the time. Like they beat UCLA 12-3. Who scores 12 goals in one game? They played on an outdoor rink. A buddy down the hall in our dorm was on the team, 6'5", looked like a monster when on skates. I went to see one game, and that was it. Too friggin' cold.
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Old 06-26-2016, 11:22 PM   #67
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

OP, I have been waiting for this thread for so long. This is biblical. Thanks for sharing.
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Old 06-27-2016, 02:55 AM   #68
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

I'm enjoying this thoroughly, thanks for the writing!
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Old 06-27-2016, 03:55 AM   #69
Spike McAwesome
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Quick cross-post from the MGM pay-to-park thread:

Quote:
On Wednesday, I went to the Bellagio. I scanned my Nevada ID and was let in without issue. As I tried to leave, the kiosk was having a hard time reading my ID, so the attendant just used her "master" key and let me out. No problem, right?

Today, I went to the MGM. I get to the kiosk, scan my ID, and it says "ID already in system." Uh oh. I try again. Same error message. ****. This is going to become a problem. I take a ticket (then angrily throw it out the window), go to the poker room, and tell the manager what happened. He said to let the attendant know on the way out and they'll take care of it. So as I left, I tried to leave. I scanned my ID once just to see, and it said "Wrong car park". First of all, it's a parking lot, not a 'car park'. Second of all, get your act together. It's clearly the correct 'car park' since my car is in the damn thing. I call the attendant over, explain the situation to her, and she's visibly annoyed with the attendant from the Bellagio. She starts saying my last name and the last four of my license number, and I tell her I'm not in a rush. Go grab whatever you need, write my stuff down, and let's get this resolved. She walks off to grab a clipboard, and tells me that the next time I'm at an MGM property to grab a ticket. When I leave, I should insert the ticket, then scan my ID, and I should be good to go.

In reality, my plan is to go to an MGM property where my friend works as a floor man, get as many comps as humanly possible from him, leave, then mail my MLife card to corporate and tell them to kiss my ass.
Back to work/reality tomorrow. I have a few random stories planned out which will hopefully keep up the attention until this coming weekend.
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Old 06-27-2016, 04:38 AM   #70
Clear Quality
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Thread is very enjoyable. Also, you seem to live in my neighborhood. I could throw a rock and hit that Firestone I bet.
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Old 06-27-2016, 10:22 AM   #71
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

I have enjoyed this thread. Thank you for keeping me from working.
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Old 06-27-2016, 12:12 PM   #72
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

great stories and writing style Spike...thanks so much for putting in the time and sharing...I have 92 vacation days accrued and would gladly give you a few to keep this thread going...A+
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Old 06-27-2016, 12:27 PM   #73
Stu Ungar
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Boom! 5 Stars just happened..
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Old 06-27-2016, 01:00 PM   #74
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

This made my Monday morning! Now someone needs to find the Judge Joe Brown episode lol....
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Old 06-27-2016, 03:44 PM   #75
Spike McAwesome
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Re: June 18ish to 26maybe - A local's vacation

Quote:
Originally Posted by Clear Quality View Post
Thread is very enjoyable. Also, you seem to live in my neighborhood. I could throw a rock and hit that Firestone I bet.
Spring Valley in the hizzy! In the hizzle! In the houhou! In thOHGOD I CAN'T STOP SOMEONE HELP...

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Originally Posted by CaptainMorgain View Post
great stories and writing style Spike...thanks so much for putting in the time and sharing...I have 92 vacation days accrued and would gladly give you a few to keep this thread going...A+
92?!? Year-to-year, I can't carry over more than... 46? I think? I have 25.5 vacation days saved up plus well over 100 sick days. I guess that's the benefit of getting 24 days of sick and 24 days of vacation a year.

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Originally Posted by Stu Ungar View Post
Boom! 5 Stars just happened..
I saw that! Kinda funny that I started this thinking "Eh, maybe I'll take some pics from some dives around town and it'll get like 11 views. I'd be okay with that."

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mumph View Post
This made my Monday morning! Now someone needs to find the Judge Joe Brown episode lol....
I might still have the postcard they sent with the episode number on it. If I have it, I know right where it is. I'll check when I get home.

Sunday was more or less uneventful, and I took zero pictures. I woke up late, vacuumed, did laundry, went grocery shopping, power-washed the back patio next to the pool area... all that fun "adulting" stuff they don't tell you about when you're 17 and pull the "I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO" nonsense.

I pop over to the MGM quickly for a short session before my wife's plane gets in. That issue with the parking garage bothered me, but that was it for excitement. Took a $60 win, got the wife, and immediately watched Game of Thrones as soon as we got home.

So to recap my actual time off - I wanted to do the following:

- Play at least one deep stack at the Rio. Did not get to do one of these. I had the opportunity but went with the Nugget instead. If I'm reading the series information right, the dailies are going until July 17th, so I'll probably do the $235 on July 9th.
- Play at least one absolutely terrible daily in a ****ty room. The Santa Fe tournament is an awful structure, but the room was better than anticipated.
- Go house hunting with the wife. Started doing this, but we've decided to postpone the house hunt for about a year. Just not set up to be ready to move by October.
- Go swimming since it's going to be 113+ this entire week (126 in Death Valley today). Done!
- Various **** that locals do when we're not in poker rooms. Well... yeah. I mean this one was kind of unavoidable.

I also wanted to play in (or at least visit) each of the following rooms:
- Arizona Charlie's - No, but I might swing by tonight
- Boulder Station - Went to, didn't play
- Cannery - Went to, didn't play
- Flamingo - Yes
- Hard Rock - Yes
- MGM - Twice
- Santa Fe Station - Yes
- Silver Sevens - Yes
- Skyline Casino - Went to, didn't play
- Wynn (haven't been since they moved to Encore) - No, but you guys have seen the new Wynn room so I figured this was the least important on the list anyway. Plus, the only other time I played cash there, I managed to shove a flop and went from thinking "I bet I'm way ahead and will beat any callers or take it down now" to "Oh **** I'm behind and have one out to win" after getting two callers:

I'm dealt AsKc in late position at 1/3. I raise to 12. SB and UTG both call. Flop comes QcJcTc. Flopped the night straight with the re-draw to the royal. SB checks, UTG bets 20. I ship for like $180. They both call. SB shows 6c3c for the flopped flush (bye bye straight) and UTG has AcKh for the higher re-draw. I'm dead to the 9c and I can't hit the miracle on the turn or river.

Anyway, that's my story of woe for the day. My bag is packed for work and I head out about 15 minutes late because **** Mondays after getting back from a vacation.

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