This was such a great read. This really makes me want to rekindle my blog thread, but unfortunately I lost a cell phone with over 1500 photos and notes in it.

I'm pretty sure I've run into you at some point playing locally, especially if you've ever played at the Orleans or Rio. Thanks for sharing your story.

Great stories. You've inspired me to start a $1 chip collection on my upcoming Vegas trip.

Hey op just curious what's your master in? You don't have to answer if you do not feel comfortable. You've shared plenty, just curious?


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Also do you have any vices other than loose women, food and diet dr. Pepper? Like do you dump money in vp, craps or bj? Hear stories about locals with these vices. Once again feel free to ignore my question.

If any of these apply let's grind craps together at Jerrys nugget or hit up vp at MSS or something.


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Spike,

Awesome thread.

Adding to the long list of stuff people would like to hear you write about, I'll put in a request for how you went from being married to a trainwreck prostitute to a high-powered attorney. I'm assuming this is not the woman you moved in with right after your breakup.

Great trip reports and writing in general, keep 'em coming!

Grease 2 and dirty socks - a recipe for cockblocking

When I first moved here, a lot of us were on the same/similar schedules. Or at least, the guys who worked grave had the same nights off (typically Tuesday/Wednesday) and I just didn't care if I had to go to work on 3 hours of sleep. We would go for late night bingo and bowling. The 11pm bingo at South Point is typically not well attended, and they used to do $1 bowling on weekdays after midnight. Maybe they still do, I don't know.

By the way - bingo is a seriously overlooked and underrated time for PURE GAMBOL and booze. The minimum buy-in for bingo is something like $5, the machine does all the work, but drinks in the bingo room are just like anywhere else in the casino. So for like $5 + tips, you get an hour of laid back gambling and alcohol. Plus there's a chance of winning big money. I've got two $1000+ scores under my belt.

There were about five or six of us there, but this story focuses on two in particular: Ryan and Brad.

Ryan moved here from Toledo to do a Master's in some kind of computer science/programming or something. Not really my bag so I don't know exactly what he was doing. Sarcastic dude but funny as hell, even if he can be really inappropriate at times (which, by the way, is the quickest way to my cold, dead heart - be as inappropriate as possible). Always developed a limp when he got drunk, which I've never quite understood.

Brad moved here from Virginia to attend culinary school. Smart as hell and sharp, but unrelenting and mean when drunk. I mean Terminator-like determination to win an argument after he has a few drinks. Even when he's proven wrong with cold hard evidence, he'll try to argue that the evidence is wrong or something. Just will never back down, and has no regards for someone's feelings.

These personality traits are key to this story.

So we've finished bingo and started bowling. We get a lane next to these 3-4 girls who are... cute. Not knockouts, but not bad. I wouldn't have kicked them out of bed. Drinks have been flowing all night for Brad and Ryan, and they're slightly sauced by this point. I don't remember the exact piece of dynamite that kicked off the conversation, but at one point one of the girls said something along the lines of:

"Grease 2 was way better than Grease".

Brad is a Broadway fanatic.
Brad is drunk.
Brad doesn't back down from an argument from anyone.

This is not going to end well.

Brad starts laying in to this broad. "What the **** are you talking about? How can you possibly say that? Grease was WAY better than Grease 2 and not a single sane person should argue with me about that..."

Meanwhile, Ryan has singled out one girl and has been flirting it up all night. They've been talking and he's being his typical inappropriate self. I don't remember everything, but there are two lines that stand out: She starts talking about an ex, and Ryan said "My grandma always said the best cure for a broken heart is semen." This, somehow, did not scare her off. A little while later, there's a brief silence. Ryan just busts out with "You're so cute, I want to bury you under my house." This, again, did not scare her off.

Brad is still going back and forth with a very confused looking girl. I think she might be kinda interested and thinks he's just the worst flirter ever. He's legit pissed that someone would dare say that Grease 2 was better than the original. Ryan is going on and on about nothing memorable. Since I'm the fat guy, clearly I recommend that we move to the 24 hour cafe downstairs for some grub. Everyone agrees, and I hope this will steer both conversations to something that ends with my buddies getting laid.

Sometimes, I don't know why I bother.

We get to the cafe. Brad won't let it go. Ryan has gone completely silent. And I can only do so much. Brad's girl gets sick and tired of his **** and excuses herself, but Brad seems to be the only one who doesn't realize she's not coming back. Ryan's girl goes on one last desperate attempt to get his attention, and gives him her socks (she bought socks from the bowling alley vending machine and decided she didn't want to keep them). Ryan looks confused, and blurts out, "Ya know, if you give me these, I'm just going to masturbate into them later".

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's the cue for all females to leave the table. The look of disgust on all of their faces is a memory I will never forget, and honestly, kind of treasure. It's not often you get to watch two of your best friends crash and burn with easy targets in such spectacular fashion.

At least the food was good.

Bad news is that I couldn't find the postcard that gave me the episode number for the Judge Joe Brown episode. I did, however, find the binding arbitration agreement I had to sign. I don't know if it's interesting enough to post here but I will if there's enough interest (and if I can figure out how to edit my name off of this thing). Plus, I can set my DVR to start recording the show. With any luck it'll be shown as a rerun soon.

Start up a new thread and take new pictures! There's always time to create new memories.

As for playing against each other - almost definitely yes. I've played more of the Orleans tournaments than I care to count. I don't play cash there too often. The cash games feel way too nitty and dull for my taste.

Excellent. They're cool, cheap little mementos, plus you can get a frame specifically built for chip collectors at the Gambler's General Store (or online if you're boring). If you're willing to go to $5, a lot of places will do rare chips and short runs for special events in town (NFR, every New Years, special celebrity engagements), hotel anniversaries, etc. Not saying that they'll increase in value exponentially. Instead of displaying the same $1 chip that everyone gets, you could have a collection of $5 chips that all say "Limited run of 1000" or something.

Oh I don't care. There's only one other person in my program who could even remotely possibly check these forums. His laptop died in May.

I finished the Master's in Public Administration back in 2014. This program is the PhD in Public Policy and Leadership. There's a chance I'll transfer over to law school either during or after this program, but we'll see. If I graduated from law school, it might give me a better chance of winning an argument in my own ****ing house, but that's neither here nor there.

My wife describes my former behavior of finding these women thusly: I was acting as "Captain Save-a-ho". I think there's some merit to that.

I'm not adverse to gambling at all. Blackjack isn't my thing (I almost wrote "BJ isn't my thing" but we all know that's not the case am I right guys?!? Giggity) but I've been known to shoot dice or play video poker. Actually if I'm going to play a table game, my first stop is almost always Pai Gow. But I'm up for whatever. I don't typically go out and seek out table games on any kind of nightly/weekly basis (I used to, but not anymore). It's usually a planned out night with my friends that leads to throwing some money on a table. Or after my wife's company Christmas party at the Wynn, we sat around and played Pai Gow until about 5am with a few of her co-workers. What are the stakes at Jerry's anway? Been a long time since I went up that way.

As for other other vices - I learned relatively young that I can't do things I like a little bit. I could bore you with the story about how 12 year old me went to a water park and how that trip saved my adult life. Maybe I'll use that as filler at some point.

I told my wife you asked this question, and she said, "Well, I was dropped on my head quite a bit. I'm clearly suffering from CTE." Thanks, dear.

This is not the girl that adopted Beans/that I met immediately after the ex-wife moved out. The time line was roughly:

Dec 2008: Ex-wife moves out
Feb 2009: Meet next girl
Aug 2011: Break up with that girl
June 2012: Meet current wife
Nov 2015: Married

Once the ex-wife moved out, I moved in with other girl (I forget what fake name I used for her - Jamie maybe?). She was de facto moved in but still had her own apartment. When her lease was up, we went looking for apartments, but the apartment was supposed to just be for her. When my house sold at short-sale, I moved in to her apartment.

That lease expired on Christmas Day, 2010, so we decided to rent a house together. When we broke up in August 2011, we still had another four months left on the lease. I moved into one of the guest rooms. Things should have been really awkward between us, but they really weren't. We went back to being good friends, and we still are to this day. The wife and I have gone on double dates with her and her new boyfriend. I attended her graduation last month. I've been a reference for her with jobs. I really do want her to do well. And she's on her way to doing great things.

Around September 2011, my buddy in Boston was using OkCupid quite a bit to meet women. He kept sending me profiles of girls he wanted to message, but always asked my opinion. I was sick of having limited/no access, so I created an account. I didn't put anything serious on it. I think my tag line was "I'm the fat Blues Brother, minus the alcoholism".

I honestly forget who messaged who first, but I started talking to the wife on there in about May 2012. We had our first date in June which, frankly, I thought I blew it. It was at one of the food truck festivals in front of the El Cortez downtown, then we kinda wandered up and down Fremont. We became exclusive not too long thereafter, but kind of held off on moving in together. She had never lived with a guy before, and I wanted to make sure I wasn't just jumping right back into a ****storm. Once those fears were alleviated, we signed a lease on a house in March 2014 and things have been great ever since. We've had a couple of little spats, and we've agreed to never talk politics in the house again. We agree on quite a bit, but when we disagree, neither of us will let it go.

I've been a serial monogamist my entire life, with special periods of being a cheating piece of **** and a terrible boyfriend. Eh, I was young, horny, and in a band. I wasn't strong enough to say "No" to whatever random hanger-on came around.

Alright, I owe you degenerates a couple of pics:



After work on Monday, I decided to swing over to Arizona Charlie's to check one more room off my list. It's not too far from work, and my wife was working late. I figured I would check it out. I actually lived right around the corner from here a while back, but would typically go to Texas Station, or to the Suncoast or Rampart to gamble.

One thing I don't like to do - I don't like to be "That guy" who walks in to a place talking on his phone. Plus I need the phone to take pictures. I was talking to my dad when I pulled in the parking lot so I just decided to stay there while we were finishing the conversation. A truck backed in to the spot next to me without issue, then "BAM! BAM!" I look up like "What the ****?" and realize that both the driver and the back seat passenger had opened their doors directly into the side of my car. Their friend who was sitting shotgun came over, looked at what happened, and moved on with their lives.

So I'm in a bit of a pickle. I don't want to just let it go, but there are three of them. And all three look like they could cause a problem if they wanted to. I could have popped out just to look at the car and make sure there was no damage, but if they went on the offensive, what could I do about it? Sigh. I figure - my car is a bit beat up anyway. Do I really need to start **** over yet another dent? Probably not. I hang up with my dad and look. There's maybe one tiny scrape, otherwise everything looks okay. Maybe that's the best-case scenario. No damage to give me an ulcer, and I can brush off the scrape and not feel like I've been "wronged".

There are actually two Arizona Charlie's locations in town. One on Boulder Highway, one on N. Decatur between Charleston and Alta. Only the N. Decatur location has a poker room, which brings me here.



The doors open and I'm hit with a cloud of smoke. There's clearly never been an attempt made to circulate fresh air into this place. This nicotine hot-box of a casino is dark, dingy, and beat to ****. As I walk in, there's an announcement made:

"Attention poker players! Immediate seating for 4/8 limit hold 'em! Minimum buy-in is..." There was an emphysema-laded cough next to me, so I missed the buy-in amount, but start looking around for the room. Surprisingly, it's on my immediate right, next to the sports book:



Three tables, and only one going. And as I quickly noticed, they allow smoking at the table. I don't have my inhaler. I chicken out and decide not to take a seat. My lungs breathe a sigh of relief. I wander around for a minute, then decide to leave before the damage is irreversible.

Tonight may be boring but I should be able to get in a little grind after work tomorrow. I also told my wife there's about a 20% chance I'm going to ragequit my job this afternoon. Stay tuned.

+1 on Lo Lo's. I didn't know they were in Vegas. Best gawd-darned Fried Chicken around, and the waffles are pretty darned good, too. If you are ever in Phoenix, it's a must hit, just south of the sportsball park downtown.

The Scottsdale location has closed, AFAIK, but they've got a spot at the Diamondbacks ball park.

Man, I just ate lunch, and I'm salivating over chicken and waffles.

Awesome thread Spike! You are a natural born storyteller!

Sweet pics of Arizona Charlie's. Man might have to check it out just for the smoking at the tables. If I can get a pot to pee in I'd never have to leave the table.


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love your writing.....mor

B

Found this outside my house about a month after moving in:

Great thread. The pics and stuff have me Jonesing for Las Vegas. Been almost a year since I left.

Love this thread. I guess they have since gone non-smoking, but the poker room at Sam's Town in like '02 or '03 was the smokiest poker room I've ever been in.

I don't know why you would ever attempt to win an argument with your wife. She's a high powered attorney and you're either the sober John Beluchi or the sober John Goodman (depending on if you were talking the original or BB2000) who gets to have sex with her on a regular basis. Seems like more than enough to conceded nearly any point considering she's likely very intelligent so even if she's wrong how wrong could she be?

BTW Take sober John Beluchi as a huge compliment. I accidentally wrote Jim originally which would of been a huge insult.

re doll picture:
You live in Hendertucky?

---
Nat,
The arguing is foreplay. Smart women don't like pushovers.

No No No, I didn't say be a pushover I just meant don't argue to the death with someone who makes a very nice salary to argue and you get to have sex with them

Nat

I know comedy is important to you so I have to tell you this so you don't make the same mistake again. It's Belushi.

Spike

Thanks for the great thread!

Arghhh drunken lack of spell check! Just showed this to coworkers I'm out with and was roundly called a dolt. You never summon the name of Belushi and blow it... I should of known I was F'd when I started off by mistakenly writing Jim and letting it get posted

Spike I'm a dental professional - there are pro's and con's to the ceramic fillings.

con's - They don't last as long as the old silver filling and tend to be more sensitive immediately post op. They are also more expensive.

pro's - They are tooth colored and therefore cosmetically there is no comparison between silver/black vs white. And this is a big pro there is no mercury in the white fillings.

Some dentists rec removing all silver fillings but I'm not on that bandwagon yet. Replace them when they need it but do it in the ceramic.

Boulder Station used to allow it up until a year or two ago (or more... I never go to the east side, but it feels like the change was recent). At least the poker rooms at Sam's Town and Arizona Charlie's are relatively open to the main casino floor and could, theoretically, get some fresh air.. Boulder Station is 90% encased in glass. I'm amazed they didn't have players sign waivers before entering.

I was definitely going for the original, but John Goodman is a seriously underrated actor. Really like his work.

It's not often that I try to get in arguments with the wife, and it's rarer still when there are arguments that I feel are worth winning. Our first fight that wasn't just a tiny little spat: Whether or not Michelle Obama is "man-ish". Otherwise we've had very few arguments that have really escalated, and one of those was during the time she was studying for the bar (so I kinda wrote it off as stress). She is incredibly smart and does come from a place of logic when she's making her points. There are just issues on which we fundamentally disagree - guns being probably the biggest point.

Spring Valley for now. Part of this vacation was supposed to be house-hunting, but we've called off the search until early 2018. We'll be looking in Henderson for sure.

I think my two biggest mistakes with the ceramic fillings were a) not doing my research before agreeing and b) not going back right away when I realized I was in so much pain. Yes, I understand there's a period of adjustment, but I really went too long (including our honeymoon in Macau and Thailand). I definitely appreciate that you took the time to respond!

Tuesday, June 28 was pretty boring. Had a meeting at work where I thought the quiet guy and my super laid-back boss were going to get in a fist fight. But no poker and no adventures.

Today, June 29. I start my day at a place most of you probably haven't seen, assuming you've been good little boys and girls:



The Regional Justice Center! I've been called as a witness in a case starring this guy as the District Attorney:



He was wearing a pastel yellow suit today. Yeah.

This guy as the defense attorney:



http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/la...ges-nye-county

The case is being heard by this judge:



http://www.reviewjournal.com/news/la...nder-courtroom

I guess it beats working this morning...

Ah christ, I ****ed up the picture from the courthouse:



I took a handful of pictures in and outside the place, but I realized that some of the people walking around had tags that said "JUROR, DISTRICT X". It's probably a bad idea to post pictures of active jurors online, so I deleted everything with a person it in from my Imgur, and I must have firebombed everything I uploaded. Sigh.

Vegas is glitz. Vegas is glamor. Vegas is an amazing place to live. The bleak reality, however, is that Vegas is a major metropolitan area, and crime happens. I've had my backdoor kicked in and my house emptied out, and seven packages stolen from my front porch. My friend had a tire stolen from his car. Another friend had his ATM card stolen. My ex (Jamie) had a license plate stolen. Other friends have been victims of petty crimes or just random threats of violence. Home invasions are so commonplace, I'm going to go over-the-top psychotic with security when I buy a home. This court case is dealing with one of those stolen packages.

Unfortunately, as it's an ongoing case, there's not a lot of details I can get in to. Dell ****ed up one of my orders and a) didn't tell me when they sent me a laptop, and b) didn't require a signature when it was delivered. It was ripped off, but fortunately they caught the guy - pro-tip: Always always always have serial numbers.

So this guy gets arrested on two different felonies. The ADA offers him a deal. Defendant says no. While he's incarcerated and waiting for trial, Metro ties him to three more felonies. Defendant says "Hey about that deal you were mentioning a while back..." Yeah, nice try stupid. The ADA isn't going to offer you the same deal now that you've been tied to three more crimes. Tony Soprano, he ain't.

I make it back to work shortly after lunch and work an unproductive day. It becomes especially unproductive when I read the fine print from the project I've already started: "Note: This program has been scrapped and this project is DOA. Just passing along information so no one actually works on this". C'mon....

After work, I meet the wife at Downtown Summerlin:






Dinner:



HIGHLY recommended.

After dinner, I went to the WSOP to play a little 1/3, and the wife went home to start packing. We've got a little excursion this weekend which will probably be my last post(s) in this thread, unless something wild and wacky happens during some poker around town.

Speaking of, I booked a small loss at 1/3 today on the weirdest table I've ever seen. EVERY stack was $500+ except mine at $200. They were paying $10 per person if someone could win a hand with 72o. Every new dealer, we'd each throw in $20, dealer ran out a full board, and we'd do a blind flip. Winner takes the pot. Lots of back and forth action from the big stacks trying to beat up on each other, and I couldn't really carve out a little piece.

About 20 minutes before the table breaks, this super young-looking dude sits and starts playing. I explain the extra-curriculars that have been going on, and he's down. Awesome. He wins a big pot, starts racking up, and his mom comes over. We know the table is about to break so we all agree to do the $20 flip. His mom LOSES HER MIND. Apparently she was staking him this trip, and "YOU CAN'T AFFORD THIS!!! YOU CAN'T EVEN PAY ME BACK FOR YOUR 2/5 LOSSES!!! NO I FORBID YOU FROM DOING THIS FLIP!!!" and storms off. This kid, fully decked out in WSOP gear, has to turn to the table and say "S-Sorry guys. My mom won't let me," and he sheepishly heads for the cage. The rest of us look at each other for 5 seconds of silence, then bust out laughing. How embarrassing for that kid. More importantly, how often has his mother done that to him in public? Ugh I felt so bad for him, but at the same time, I was so glad it wasn't me.

I never did win one of those flips...

Just burst out laughing in the middle of the office. Wish you could have got video of this.

GobboMom can be a tough bird on occasion

LVL was in need a thread this good. Keep the stories coming