Day 4
Another day waking up to all my organs and most of my money intact! A nondescript half-day of work and some meals eventually gets me to Flamingo for some 5-handed ½ action. There’s only 2 NL tables going, and I get sat at one with 2 guys nursing $75 stacks (one playing WSOP.com on an iPad) and one competent looking guy with ~$600 in front and why am I here again?
UTG (MAWG? Forget anything interesting about him) limps, Button limp, Ivan iPad completes SB and I check J
3
in BB. Flop comes J
3
6
, iPad donks 6, I raise to 16, UTG cold-calls, SB folds. Turn 5
, I 35, UTG jams for his last $100 total, I call, he shows AJdd and river is 3
to fill me up buttercup.
He’s replaced by who I’ll call Military Manny (Flew in the air force, son going to USC on a sports scholarship, Cowboys fan?). I take myself right into his danger zone when I open A
A
OTB to 7, and he comes along in the SB along with the BB. Flop K
7
9
, checks to me, I 14, MM raises to 45, BB folds, I jam for his $120 stack and he snaps with...K
7
Board runs out J
3
, and I’m blaming this one Lost Wages Pun Pilot.
In 5 consecutive hands in which I open (not 5 straight hands), I get called by Freddy Fauxhawk (2 to my right) when I’m IP, and promptly get donked into for half-pot or more on every flop, and can’t even flop a backdoor draw and an over on any of them. On occurrence #6, I opened T
9
in the CO to $7, and FF defends as usual. As usual, he donks $7 into me on a J
6
2
board and at least I have a BDFD and BDSD to pump it to $23. He hesitates and calls, and a J
rolls off, followed by a check. Annoyed I can’t turn anything, I check and give up when I should just be barrelling off since it’s less likely he has Jx and most of his FDs are going to be ahead of my ten-high. River A
, he snaps in $70 and I throw my hand away in disgust.
However, I bink a trip goal a few orbits later! MM limps UTG, folds to me in the BB where I raise it up to $12 with pocket Kardashians (8
8
), with MM calling. Flop is a beautiful A
8
6
, in which I lead $6, with MM calling. Turn is an even more scintillating 8
, and we both check. River 5
, I bet $20, MM thinks awhile and folds, and I show my 88 for a $100 Quad bonus. Doesn’t get me unstuck (down $89 after 4 middling hours), but it helps. Not sure how many live hours I’ve played lifetime over the 14 years of casino play, but no HHs or BBJ shares until this one (though I did spin the Aces Cracked Wheel once at Excalibur after getting Aces cracked for $400 on a hand I asked the dealer NOT deal me into, at 5am, to a drunk guy in a Dick in the Box costume who limp/called $25 with Q4 and flopped two pair...I won $20 back on the Wheel).
I grab some ideally quick dinner (it was not) at Cabo Wabo at Planet Hollywood. Thankfully, I made a reservation a few hours prior, as I’d see people showing up and being told it’s a 90-120 minute wait (who is waiting for ANYTHING in Vegas outside of Michelin-Star restaurants btw). The waiter was clearly overwhelmed, but it took 20 minutes just to get water and put in an order (carne asada, grilled chicken, and shrimp tacos). Food was solid, otherwise.
My bar for Mexican is not high, though (I live next to a Chipotle, so that should tell you something).
I venture out to Caesar’s for some alternative $1/$2 5-handed action. It’s been forever since I’ve played here - the last time had to be 9-10 years ago, back when it was in the old space behind the sportsbook (and a much larger, nicer room). The only time I ever took a shot at $2/$5, and I got stacked 2x in an orbit against the same ****ing guy (first time with QQ v AK AIPF, he rivers an Ace, second time hands are reversed and I brick out). Let’s run a tiny bit better this time.
Remember when I said that Aria game was dry as the desert? Welp, compared to that (and the Flamingo table), this table is (NSFW)...
WAP
First hand, folds to SB on my direct left, late 50’s short Asian gentleman dressed like someone you’d see drunk and passed out at a sportsbook on a Tuesday afternoon (we’ll call him Danny Degen) insta-jams for $130, and gets snapped by a shorter Troy Polamalu lookalike in the BB (we’ll call him mini-TP/MTP).
DD has AK, MTP with...22! DD binks an Ace on the river, and is drinking his beer as fast as he’s shoving chips in. An orbit later, MAWG limps UTG, 1 other limp, and MTP makes it $30 in the BB. UTG MAWG thinks for 20 seconds, then jams in for $250! MTP calls! MAWG has...66?! Mini-TP...JTo!? 66 holds and he doubles (and don’t think he plays another hand). MTP is in for 3 buyins and we’re still on our first dealer.
Folds around to DD in the SB, who asks MTP if he would chop. MTP says no. DD jams for $300, MTP snaps him. DD has...92. MTP? 22. MTP holds, and now it’s DD’s turn to be in for another buy-in or 4. 2 downs go by and I don’t think I’ve seen MTP missing a single flop so far. Both him and DD in for minimum 4 buy-ins each. DD has opened from $40 to $300 so far. Whenever he does this, he starts screaming “BABY, CALL, CALL, CALL, BABY BABY OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!”. He’s had 2 beers since sitting, but pretty sure he isn’t drunk, just nuts. MTP is still on his first 20 oz. Mountain Dew, so same thing. Oh, they’re all-in against each other again, BvB, J2 vs K4. Other movies DD pulls include:
- Opening for 60 and folding to a shove for $150
- Bluffing $80 into a $6 limped pot on the turn, jamming $200 on the river, getting called and instantly mucking his hand
- Open shoving 3 hands in a row while constantly pulling his mask up and down (and being scolded by the dealer).
You could tell me this guy has the Black Plague and I’m not leaving my seat. While it’s nice to be able to catch an unexpected show when all the real shows are dark here, but can I get some hands, please?!
Sure enough ($250 effective), we get Golf Shirt Gary, a SEC-loving South Carolinian who on a normal night would be the craziest at the table but is a distant 3rd here, opens to $12 in CO, I flat 8
8
OTB, and MTP calls in BB. Flop 4
6
7
, checks to me and I bet $20, with both calling. Turn is a bittersweet 8
(preferring a 5, since ATC is in range of both these guys). MTP leads $20, GSG raises to $60, I flat ??, MTP jams, GSG jams, lol odds and stuff I call, GSG turns over T
9
, but the river is a sweet sweet 7
for the triple-up. MTP claimed he had 53o
MTP sadly leaves for $2/$5 but DD sticks around, as I swear I see him drop minimum $1200 in what is now hour 2. I get the absolute dream spot when UTG limps, and I see A
A
in the SB. Never in the history of my life has there been a more obvious time to limp AA in the blinds of a live cash game. Sure enough, I limp, and DD blasts his now $130 into the pot in the BB. I can’t call fast enough, and see the board run out what seems to be a safe 3
3
7
Q
J
. Well, SEEMS to be safe. Not safe when he rolls over 5
3
I can’t even be mad because he’s so insane. (and thankfully wasn’t fully stacked). He blows that stack off quickly, reloading to odd amounts now. A few orbits later, he starts limping (and often limp-reraising) instead of his usual 30-100bb opens. He limps UTG, Button and SB come along, and I pump it to $22 with Q
Q
in the BB. DD does his little dance and makes it $100 even, with everyone else folding back to me. By god, if he has AA, lol everything. I stick his last $84 in, he calls and the board runs out A
2
3
4
6
. I’m 63% on that river against two random cards, but certainly feels like I’m headed towards another fun AIPF beat. But he mucks! Then leaves! What a ride.
It’s not over yet, though - as GSG, another Gary at the table, and I, who believes in rule of 3, identify as “Gary In Training” (which he questions but he’s drunk so he think it’s funny), move to another table with a clearly wasted, newly-minted 21 year old, we’ll call Henry Hand Rankings. Why that? Because he...does not know what hands beat what. He’s asking the dealer to help him on nearly every river he sees, so much so that he gets the floor to print him out a hand-rankings sheet to use at the table.
Is there a better feeling than betting made hands on the river, while your opponent pulls out the cheat sheet, is openly pointing to each made hand on the ranking sheet, saying he doesn’t have that but you probably don’t either, then calling you with 3rd pair?
That was what I got to enjoy on at least 6 hands with him. Not for full stacks, more like death by a thousand value bet paper cuts. He eventually busts, and I call it a night. In for $300, out for $985
P.S. Why in God’s name are they making the $2 and $25 chips shades of green?! This is not a good thing to confuse.