Day 1
I bring a face shield for the likely congested lines of Logan Airport, which proves useful as social distancing is lacking in the TSA line. They make everyone walk across a large empty space in line while an adorbs black Lab crosses in front of you. If it starts lunging at you, they pull you aside, and apparently, take you to a private room. Wondering if this is a COVID-sniffing dog? I’ve never seen such aggressive measures with drug-sniffing dogs, and especially not at 6:30am on a non-holiday Monday. Doggo decides to just stop and lick my ankle a couple of times, then merrily prances their way to the other side. I guess I’m the right kind of infectious?
I walk by several gates to get to mine, all tucked in the left corner pocket of Terminal C. I see near-overflowing masses for departures to Florida (are they looking to get COVID-ed?!) Who am I to judge though, as I’m entering a hotspot with a 16% positivity rate. Thankfully, I see a mere handful of people at my gate, and end up having 2 rows to myself
Maybe 25 people total on the flight
Shortly before touching down
Our pilot welcomes us to “the city of Lost Wages” - and I immediately check my email for the customary Jetblue “how was your flight” survey to give this Dadjoker -5 stars for:
- A dumb joke
- A dumb joke during a global pandemic
- A dumb joke during a recession where all of our money is already lit on fire
- A dumb joke on a Monday AM flight
- If I end this trip stuck, I am justifiably blaming this
Well, this certainly can't be any worse than the Red Line I'm used to in Boston
I get in around 11am, and with a 4pm check-in at Harrah’s, decide to just Uber to Orleans and try to hop in the $100 $5k Gtd a little late. Now I don’t have high expectations for Uber drivers - 5 stars unless you
- drive like you’re in GTA and nearly get us killed
- drive like you just got your learner’s permit and nearly get us killed
- bring up abortion
Cut to 45 seconds after getting in the car:
“How have things been driving out here during COVID?”
“I bet a lot of people are getting abortions right now because of this!”
Much to my chagrin upon arrival at Orleans, not only do I not have a player’s card (and have to wait 10 minutes in line to get one), but the poker room had 7 dealers call out sick, so there’s a 30-deep alternate list
Why am I so committed to playing this?!
I grab some quick Subway ($11 for a footlong sub, God help me I’m already bleeding money and common sense this trip) for the wait, and eventually get put on a table in the 3rd level, so still 60bb to start, not the worst (25k starting, jump in at 200/400/400).
Starting stack...peak stack
At 300/600/600, I open 1900 in MP (8-handed) with K
K
, with a super loose mid-50’s woman defending her BB. I’ve seen her limp/call nearly every hand pre in 2 orbits, often donking the flop with 2nd pair or better. Flop naturally comes A
9
7
, she checks, and I mentally shrug and decide to just bet 1500, expecting she peels off gutters, 9x, etc. Naturally she snap check-raises to 9k, I just laugh and fold face-up, in which she instantly shows me A
K
After that, I just endured a mind-numbing repetition of defending my BB to 2.0-2.5x opens and flopping no pair, no draw, no backdoor for several orbits. At 600/1200/1200, a bad local limps CO, I jam A
J
OTB for 12.5k, and the only player I hate getting called by at the table, the CL who has played snug AF but has 125k snap-rejams in the SB with A
K
, with a runout of 3
5
7
5
2
gg me.
It’s 2-something, I’m on 4 hours sleep with zero decent meals in me, so I fold on Orleans and call an Uber to Harrah’s to check-in early. I get zero hits less than 20 minutes away on Uber, switch to Lyft, get a guy to roll up in 5 minutes, great. I get in, and he has his neck gaiter...on his neck. I ask him if he can put his face covering on...no answer. I look at the Lyft app...and see no other cars anywhere close to here. Try the windows to see if they roll down...nope. Goddammit.
I get into Harrah’s, likely with newfound COVID, get temperature checked, and get to the check-in kiosk. Mother of God, these things are steaming piles of dog ****. It took 4 attempts at scanning my passport (barely used, a year old), and 4 attempts at my driver’s license (with me not-so-quietly cursing so much I’d make a sailor blush) before I rage-mashed my credit card number in, digit by digit, until it spat out my room keys (oh, and charged $30-something for early check-in because hey **** you). Elevators are just as tech-terrible, with me nearly needing to put my fist through the card sensor in order to get the damn thing to move. I get to the room, and at least this will be the nicest $11/night (well, $48/night with resort fee) room I ever stay in.
Crank out a 3-hour nap, then rumble down to the Venetian for dinner and the $125 Bounty. I cruise into Grand Lux Cafe and knock out a Caesar Salad and Wood Grilled BBQ Burger. For Vegas, this feels like a reasonable food quality/quantity-to-price ratio (later learning this is a chain operated under Cheesecake Factory, I feel a little less good about romanticizing this place).
I take my seat in the $125 bounty ($25 bounty, 15k starting), 8-handed with plexiglass around the 2nd level, and am seeing quite the variety of insanity in play. People limp/calling A4o OOP for 13bbs (and obviously smashing the nuts and stacking AA OTF - we’ll call him Hawaiian Shirt), people bluff-shoving QT on J7788r boards and getting snapped by 99, etc.
Hawaiian Shirt in UTG1 and MP (Mahogany Fauxhawk) limp at 100/300, I jack it to 1500 with A
5
in CO, SB and both limpers call. 4 to flop and we see a semi-ginny A
5
8
flop. Checks to me and I fire 4000, with just Maho Faux calling. Turn is a 2
, MF checks and I jam 8k, with MF tank-folding.
Hawaiian Shirt opens 700 at 100/300/300 UTG, MP calls, and I questionably decide to just flat A
J
in CO. SB jams for 2300, followed by BB, a Doug Polk-lookalike reshoving for 7900. HS and MP fold. I feel indifferent here - pretty confident I’m ahead of SB, but not feeling as good about BB reshoving for ~26bb after an UTG raise, 2 calls, and a shove. Wondering if the $50 bounties (and it costing about 40% of my stack) makes it worthy of a call, though. I fold, and see SB has Q
J
and BB 8
8
, so one of the better scenarios I would be up against if I had called. Naturally, it runs out A
4
5
6
9
I open 5
5
to 1800 in HJ at 300/600/600 (partially bc Hawaiian Shirt was in BB so going a bit larger), with CO and HS in BB coming along. Flop Q
3
4
, HS checks, I 2000, CO 5000, HS goes 12000, whoops I fold, CO makes a speech about how he should have 3! Pre and folds A
Q
face-up? I guess you can find a fold because lol it’s a $125 live MTT and people aren’t check-raising much else than sets/2 pair on that board after a bet and raise, but OTOH, it’s a $125 and there’s gotta be a little random clown factor going on here.
Hawaiian shirt opens for 1500 UTG+1 same level, Button calls and I jam 11k with Q
Q
in the SB. HS snaps with A
J
, and I know it’s over. Flop 9
4
5
, turn 3
for the wheel sweat but I know that river was the A
touching down and I’m out of there. An overpriced bottle of generic Walgreens water and some Cinnamon Pop-tarts to sulk into back in my room, I turn in, chalk things up to