Burdz, December 28, 2019 - Time to book my summer vacation! Can't wait for Ireland next August! Go n-eirí an t-ádh leat!

Burdz, March 20th, 2020 - Let's just get through these next few weeks of lockdown, then Ireland, here I come!

Burdz, July 1st, 2020 - Oh good, America is banned from...everywhere. The hell if I'm paying 14 days to sit in a hotel room just so I can travel for another 7. Well, I've never been to Alaska, that looks refreshing, isolated, and safe...

Burdz, August 10th, 2020 - "Hello Quest Diagnostics, it takes how long to get a molecular PCR test result back?! I need it in 72 hours? For what? Uh...traveling? Hello? ****."

Burdz, August 16th, 2020 - $11 rooms at Harrah's and $200 in JetBlue Travel Bank credit? Oh... hey Vegas.

As I first drafted this, I fear jinxing myself by not featuring the obligatory pics of shoes (I'm bringing 2 pairs, neither are spectacular) or of my roll (~$1600 just to play some $100-ish dailies and 1/2NL or 1/3NL).

Goals?

• Find some rungood in a live MTT; started the year chopping a daily, why not (likely) end the poker year with doing the same?
• Find some 5-max or 6-max NL games and ruin live FR forever for me
• Play some 8/16 O8 at Orleans - because I promised two 2p2er friends that if I ever played head-exploding 4/8 O8 again that I would a) put one of their kid's through college and b) buy the other one several hours of time with Sophie Dee (NSFW pic below)
  Spoiler:

  
• Get a great steak and pair it with some overpriced Scotch whisky
• Hit the (only) buffet game in town at Wynn
• Pick up some new sneakers at Fashion Show Mall en route to Wynn
• Enjoy many of the educational and cultural attractions Las Vegas has to offer ok jk just poker garbage food and liquor for me plz

I decide to work half-days a few days of the trip in order to avoid coming back to a dumpster fire at the (virtual) office. It's not the worst, since it's only 10am-2pm PT, so not missing any action outside of noon tournaments.

On the next episode of this thread, you may see:

• Conversations on Abortion that Nobody Asked To Have
• Cursed Puns
• Prime Opportunities...to Catch COVID-19

More to come

It's never too late to post the shoe pic. Unless you wait until a hooker steals them and you don't have any shoes left. Lot of threads about theivin' sex workers lately. Just saying.

I look forward to hearing that the games aren't as bad as you fear they will be!

In for more Sophie Dee pics.

Not to spoil, but I can't remember the last time I played cash in Vegas and thought "wow, the games were way better the last time I was here!"

This mostly holds true for this trip

The OP starts with a bang

Can't wait for the rest of the thread to DELIVER

in

Nice op, OP. Looking forward to more. Good luck, stay safe.

I'd be interested not only in the current state of live poker (i.e., games available, waiting list times, reg-infested or not), but what the vibe of playing with the current restrictions in place is.

"Burdz, August 10th, 2020 - "Hello Quest Diagnostics, it takes how long to get a molecular PCR test result back?! I need it in 72 hours? For what? Uh...traveling? Hello? ****.""

This excerpt needs more love. Mexico is about the only place you can go from the US without such a test within the prior 48 hours ....

just imagine all the tests you'll need on the way back tho, covid may be the least of your worries

Day 1

I bring a face shield for the likely congested lines of Logan Airport, which proves useful as social distancing is lacking in the TSA line. They make everyone walk across a large empty space in line while an adorbs black Lab crosses in front of you. If it starts lunging at you, they pull you aside, and apparently, take you to a private room. Wondering if this is a COVID-sniffing dog? I’ve never seen such aggressive measures with drug-sniffing dogs, and especially not at 6:30am on a non-holiday Monday. Doggo decides to just stop and lick my ankle a couple of times, then merrily prances their way to the other side. I guess I’m the right kind of infectious?

I walk by several gates to get to mine, all tucked in the left corner pocket of Terminal C. I see near-overflowing masses for departures to Florida (are they looking to get COVID-ed?!) Who am I to judge though, as I’m entering a hotspot with a 16% positivity rate. Thankfully, I see a mere handful of people at my gate, and end up having 2 rows to myself

Maybe 25 people total on the flight


Shortly before touching down


Our pilot welcomes us to “the city of Lost Wages” - and I immediately check my email for the customary Jetblue “how was your flight” survey to give this Dadjoker -5 stars for:

- A dumb joke
- A dumb joke during a global pandemic
- A dumb joke during a recession where all of our money is already lit on fire
- A dumb joke on a Monday AM flight
- If I end this trip stuck, I am justifiably blaming this

Well, this certainly can't be any worse than the Red Line I'm used to in Boston


I get in around 11am, and with a 4pm check-in at Harrah’s, decide to just Uber to Orleans and try to hop in the $100 $5k Gtd a little late. Now I don’t have high expectations for Uber drivers - 5 stars unless you
- drive like you’re in GTA and nearly get us killed
- drive like you just got your learner’s permit and nearly get us killed
- bring up abortion

Cut to 45 seconds after getting in the car:

“How have things been driving out here during COVID?”
“I bet a lot of people are getting abortions right now because of this!”



Much to my chagrin upon arrival at Orleans, not only do I not have a player’s card (and have to wait 10 minutes in line to get one), but the poker room had 7 dealers call out sick, so there’s a 30-deep alternate list Why am I so committed to playing this?!

I grab some quick Subway ($11 for a footlong sub, God help me I’m already bleeding money and common sense this trip) for the wait, and eventually get put on a table in the 3rd level, so still 60bb to start, not the worst (25k starting, jump in at 200/400/400).

Starting stack...peak stack


At 300/600/600, I open 1900 in MP (8-handed) with KK, with a super loose mid-50’s woman defending her BB. I’ve seen her limp/call nearly every hand pre in 2 orbits, often donking the flop with 2nd pair or better. Flop naturally comes A97, she checks, and I mentally shrug and decide to just bet 1500, expecting she peels off gutters, 9x, etc. Naturally she snap check-raises to 9k, I just laugh and fold face-up, in which she instantly shows me AK

After that, I just endured a mind-numbing repetition of defending my BB to 2.0-2.5x opens and flopping no pair, no draw, no backdoor for several orbits. At 600/1200/1200, a bad local limps CO, I jam AJ OTB for 12.5k, and the only player I hate getting called by at the table, the CL who has played snug AF but has 125k snap-rejams in the SB with AK, with a runout of 35752 gg me.

It’s 2-something, I’m on 4 hours sleep with zero decent meals in me, so I fold on Orleans and call an Uber to Harrah’s to check-in early. I get zero hits less than 20 minutes away on Uber, switch to Lyft, get a guy to roll up in 5 minutes, great. I get in, and he has his neck gaiter...on his neck. I ask him if he can put his face covering on...no answer. I look at the Lyft app...and see no other cars anywhere close to here. Try the windows to see if they roll down...nope. Goddammit.






I get into Harrah’s, likely with newfound COVID, get temperature checked, and get to the check-in kiosk. Mother of God, these things are steaming piles of dog ****. It took 4 attempts at scanning my passport (barely used, a year old), and 4 attempts at my driver’s license (with me not-so-quietly cursing so much I’d make a sailor blush) before I rage-mashed my credit card number in, digit by digit, until it spat out my room keys (oh, and charged $30-something for early check-in because hey **** you). Elevators are just as tech-terrible, with me nearly needing to put my fist through the card sensor in order to get the damn thing to move. I get to the room, and at least this will be the nicest $11/night (well, $48/night with resort fee) room I ever stay in.





Crank out a 3-hour nap, then rumble down to the Venetian for dinner and the $125 Bounty. I cruise into Grand Lux Cafe and knock out a Caesar Salad and Wood Grilled BBQ Burger. For Vegas, this feels like a reasonable food quality/quantity-to-price ratio (later learning this is a chain operated under Cheesecake Factory, I feel a little less good about romanticizing this place).



I take my seat in the $125 bounty ($25 bounty, 15k starting), 8-handed with plexiglass around the 2nd level, and am seeing quite the variety of insanity in play. People limp/calling A4o OOP for 13bbs (and obviously smashing the nuts and stacking AA OTF - we’ll call him Hawaiian Shirt), people bluff-shoving QT on J7788r boards and getting snapped by 99, etc.



Hawaiian Shirt in UTG1 and MP (Mahogany Fauxhawk) limp at 100/300, I jack it to 1500 with A5 in CO, SB and both limpers call. 4 to flop and we see a semi-ginny A58 flop. Checks to me and I fire 4000, with just Maho Faux calling. Turn is a 2, MF checks and I jam 8k, with MF tank-folding.

Hawaiian Shirt opens 700 at 100/300/300 UTG, MP calls, and I questionably decide to just flat AJ in CO. SB jams for 2300, followed by BB, a Doug Polk-lookalike reshoving for 7900. HS and MP fold. I feel indifferent here - pretty confident I’m ahead of SB, but not feeling as good about BB reshoving for ~26bb after an UTG raise, 2 calls, and a shove. Wondering if the $50 bounties (and it costing about 40% of my stack) makes it worthy of a call, though. I fold, and see SB has QJ and BB 88, so one of the better scenarios I would be up against if I had called. Naturally, it runs out A4569

I open 55 to 1800 in HJ at 300/600/600 (partially bc Hawaiian Shirt was in BB so going a bit larger), with CO and HS in BB coming along. Flop Q34, HS checks, I 2000, CO 5000, HS goes 12000, whoops I fold, CO makes a speech about how he should have 3! Pre and folds AQ face-up? I guess you can find a fold because lol it’s a $125 live MTT and people aren’t check-raising much else than sets/2 pair on that board after a bet and raise, but OTOH, it’s a $125 and there’s gotta be a little random clown factor going on here.

Hawaiian shirt opens for 1500 UTG+1 same level, Button calls and I jam 11k with QQ in the SB. HS snaps with AJ, and I know it’s over. Flop 945, turn 3 for the wheel sweat but I know that river was the A touching down and I’m out of there. An overpriced bottle of generic Walgreens water and some Cinnamon Pop-tarts to sulk into back in my room, I turn in, chalk things up to

It’s possible at least in Houston. I needed a PCR test less than 72 hours for travel to France. The French Houston consulate gave us a number of places, mostly those ER places in strip malls that are popping up. Test Wednesday afternoon and got the results Friday morning.

Having fun so far or is it too weird? I keep toying with the idea of driving from L.A. but I can't pull the trigger.

Following...I’m heading out on Sept 12th for 4 nights @ Aria. Good luck!!

Great start to the report. You're humor has me cracking up.

Awesome so far

If you got the quality/quantity-to-price ratio, who cares if you give your dollars to a corporate chain or a celebrity chef? You were happy with what you got for what you paid for it. The more you worry about who is getting rich off of you, the less you're able to enjoy yourself.

Do you choose what casino you stay at based on who the shareholders of the parent company are?

Lighten up, Francis.


Enjoying so far, thanks OP

Nice TR so far man!!! Hope you dodged the Wuhan sniffles on your trip!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Day 2

Day 2 starts off uneventfully with a big plate of carbohydrates at Denny’s because I don’t see the point in an enjoyable breakfast when I’ll be logging on at 9am to work remote for half the day. After several hours of absolutely unneeded meetings (#couldhavebeenanemail), I excitedly venture out to Aria with the aspiration to hop into a 6/12 mix game with all of the games below and more.



I end up playing 1/3NL while waiting, which ends up being the entirety of my time there. Was quite annoyed that they’re 6-handed, but constantly allowed 1-2 people walking for 15-30 minutes at a time. After not being able to Google strategy for many of these games (especially since I kept seeing Archie and Dramaha 49 being chosen), probably was for the best I didn’t get a seat.

Unfortunately, this table is as dry and tight as the sand in the Mojave. My experience is either opening pre, getting 1 caller, and getting my airball c-bets raised on K26r flops, or winning the blinds. Oh, and chopping even though I think chopping is ridiculous in 6-max, reduced-rake game but I believe in way too much karma/hate being “that ****ing guy”. The only real interesting hand is me opening to 10 with QT UTG, with Masked Face Shield and rubber gloves middle-aged woman calling in BB. With all those precautions...is she even playing anything else than JJ+, AK here?! Or is it a ruse and she’s playing ATC and throwing all non-airborne caution to the wind?! Anyway, flop is J93, and she donks 15. Silver lining about masks - you can literally lick your lips at the prospect of stuffing money in with an OESFD and no one will know. I crank it up to 50 and she shovels in for 200 or so, as I snap a single redbird in for the call. Turn is a studly K, with the river being a 7, I show and MHIG. Nevertheless, I leave down $126 after 2.5 mostly soulless hours.

I grab a quick dinner at Lux Cafe (literally sitting in my same seat as the previous night) before messing around with some 8-handed partition poker of the 1/3 unlimited variety. While the action is hot and heavy



including Andy Alaska to my direct left playing every pot the first hour I’m at the table, lifting his cards off the table for many to see often but still stacking everyone with flaming garbage hands, I alas am not getting in on the fun. The only notable thing was a guy getting stacked and just peacing out before counting chips, when it turned out he had the other guy covered by $30. He never came back, and despite multiple protests from everyone at the table through 3 dealer changes and a waitlist, the floor refuses to pick up his chips! The table eventually breaks after 2 hours when we were 4-handed while every other 1/3 table was full. So many internal eye rolls. I leave up $108 in 2 hours, but on my way back to the hotel, hit an unexpected bonus...someone’s debit card?!

As someone with a keen eye for finding money on the ground (lifetime earnings in the low 4-figures including cash and unscratched scratch tickets), I scoop it up safely from the grasp of the escalator edge near Madame Tussaud’s. I get back to my room, pop a Trident, slip into my Nike’s and get my gumshoe on. Her name is fairly uncommon, and her credit union the debit card belongs to is a niche northern New York namesake. I have faith in the Facebook that I can find this dame in debit distress. I find two with the exact same name, residing in the same city as one of the credit union branches, and message them both on FB Messenger.

It’s early for Vegas but late for East-Coast me, as I settle into my bedtime routine around 11, pajamas and all when I hear a mysterious ring emanating from across the room. That isn’t my ringtone - is it the room next to me? After a few minutes, I turn the lights back on and see it’s the ringing of someone calling from the FB Messenger app - it’s Miss Missing Moniez herself! 20-something single mom, getting away from the doldrums of quarantine and mediocrity to have a much-needed girls trip. She confirms her identity, profusely thanks me for finding it, and we agree to meet in front of Harrah’s in 20 minutes. After what felt like an eternity (doesn’t everything feel that way after having to revert to pants from previous jammies?), she moves into the shot. Think prime Megan Fox but minus the sultriness but add kind eyes.



Close enough

Flanking her looks like a tan-ass Paul Blart. Let's not grab a pic of that one. Also, I'm pretty sure I spot a lollipop in his holster instead of a gun. Foxy Kind Eyes and I make the exchange and part ways.

Maybe this kid will crap out like the rest of us in Vegas, but at least I can sleep easy knowing I did something to delay that day.

If you happen to eat at Grand Luxe again, I highly recommend the Lemon Chicken Picatta (add extra mushrooms and artichokes)


Edit *** if you ever eat at ****A***** Grand Lux again lol forgot the dates.

I was literally telling him the same thing, that he shouldn't worry about it if he is happy with what he got.

Your comment makes no sense.

I’m confused is FB now one of those escorts sites and Zuckenberg is a pimp slash working the Russians/Trump re-election.

Ha what happens when you don’t read the whole post. Nice update.

This is absolutely tremendous so far.