I've enjoyed trip reports for years but never tried my hand at one. Let's change that.

Some background: we are a very early 30s married couple--DINKs. Over the past 7-8 years Vegas is something I've introduced my then-girlfriend (now wife) to, and it has become a semi-annual pilgrimage. I have no gamble in me whatsoever when it comes to anything besides poker and more recently some sports betting, so if you're looking for pit degen action you're in the wrong place.

I play poker on weekends when I can drug the wife to sleep (kidding! ...mostly), but realistically I play 20-25 hours a month when I'm home if everything goes right. She only plays bj in vegas, and while I've tried to get her to poker with me, her one foray into a Vegas low stakes tourney ended with her shoving J7o utg out-of-turn with like 6 players left with me sitting next to her pulling my hair out. She absolutely knows how to play, but it was late and she just doesn't have the patience for it, in her words. Grind blackjack for 12+hrs straight while I'm in a tourney but can't find a better pair of napkins to shove with 2 away from the money--go figure. Clearly I'm over it.

On to the trip! To start, we're trying something new: we're flying out at 8am Saturday morning (arrive in Vegas at 10? I can never figure this out with a time change moving backwards) and taking a 1am redeye back home sunday night/Monday morning. Booked one night only at Aria, so the grind will be forced with no room to escape to on day 2. This is our first time staying there and I'll be doing my best to get the poker room rate if that's something they're agreeable to.

We usually stay at a center-strip friendly low-roller haven like the flamingo or the linq, but I've been playing almost exclusively 1/2(5) plo at home so I figured it would be better to stay somewhere where they spread my game. Disclaimer: my nlhe game is trash since discovering omahahahamygodwhy so I try my best to avoid it unless I'm waiting for a seat. Thankfully I find plo to be filled with generally easier decisions than hold'em if you play a solid preflop strategy, so we're gonna stick with that for now. As far as other gambling, I plan to get in some NFL futures bets--over on bears wins, chargers to win AFC, probably others but that's pretty much it on the gambling front on my end unless I finally decide to try and learn craps.

Pretty much the only other thing this trip will include is food because that's what we love, and a trip to a dispensary, because that's what I love. The only thing that is non-negotiable is one last Chada visit because serendipity has smiled upon me for once in my life and we will, by chance, be in town for their last ever service day. (gobbo suicide watch in t-minus..)

The wife loves pizza (my wedding vows included a promise to allow her pizza whenever she wants) so she'll probably hit secret or 5/50 or whatever. I get quite enough pizza at home and therefore will be abstaining. Tacqueria el gordo was pretty life changing so I'm gonna make that a priority also. Maybe one nice dinner tomorrow night-MAYBE.

[Summary]
To be found within:
[X]Badly played PLO
[X]Badly played 2/5 nlhe
[?]Drunken 1/2 nlhe at the Flamingo. This is serious business, I never drink more than a beer or two when playing at home but the flamingo brings it out of me and I am a terror.
[X]Lots of food, Chada most importantly.
[X]Trips towards the exit nearest the poker room for smoke breaks.
[XXXX]Late night dessert. My greatest weakness.
[X]Constant checking on the wife to make sure she isn't losing too much.
[X] Pictures! since I downloaded this thing and I guess it works?
[ ]Pit games
[ ]Good poker
[ ]Shows. We do this normally but not this trip
[ ]Clubbing. We're essentially an old married couple so there's no draw here for us.

We're gonna try and run this report semi-live at least, so fingers crossed!

Obligatory shoe pic and wife-cleavage included.

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First bit of forced rungood: big front seats on Spirit. If you're cheap but also hate flying (as I am, and I do) these are the best value imo. They're probably comparable in price after all said and done to a normal seat on other airlines but they're big and comfy and come with tons of legroom. Poor man's first class. Not to mention you get an extra 5-10 minutes since you de-board first.

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Good luck! Although I have a feeling you'll want to kill yourselves not having a room for like 12 hours

Good Luck! and let's hope wife (and gf) cleavage becomes a trend. you're the first I've seen do it. Stay away from Craps, I "learned" it a couple years ago, and it's cost me at least 5 figures since.

I think you might be starting a new trend with wife cleavage. I support it.

Trust me, this was definitely a fear. More worried about the missus than myself, but it saved probably $5-600 for the trip so we're gonna roll with it and see if it works. Figured if she's absolutely dying I can get her into the spa or gym somewhere where she can take a load off.


Appreciate the responses. Just so we're all on the same page: the cleavage pic was cleared with the wife before posting, right after explaining what a Trip Report was.

"You can read it if you promise not to say anything"
-"You're so weird. Why would I say anything?"

Mixed bag so far. May have gotten tunneled coming to the hotel, wasn't paying attention and didn't say anything so that's on me. Get in line to checkin at around 1030a so I'm not optimistic about our room being ready so I send the wife to drop her bag with the bell. Stand in line for 10 minutes like a schmuck until I get ushered to the self check-in and receive the expected news.



Got mad when I saw a guy brushing his totally inappropriately hairy for this weather dog, but nah just some dude grooming his chewbacca costume, nothing to see here.

Decide to hoof it over to Bouchon for breakfast, and after getting halfway there I get a text saying the room is ready . No matter--we soldier on and the walk isn't too bad with the sun not in full hell mode.

Beignets to start that are more like small donuts tbh, 4/10. I choose the chicken and waffles that come with a side of ridiculous gravy for the chicken and some not-too-sweet syrup for the buttermilk waffles, 8.5+/10. Wife gets the blueberry French toast which threatens to put me in diabetic shock from across the table. I can stomach one bite before i get a sugar headache 7/10 but not for me.

No chance we can manage the walk back so I tell her to call us an uber to make a stop before heading back..

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Modest haul from New Amsterdam downtown. I'm a pre-roll guy when they're around because it's so easy. They even come with a smell-proof tube I can use after I stub them out! This is what I tell myself so I dont have to think about how badly I must reek walking around or sitting at the poker table. Pax Era is the mortal nuts and it's a travesty it isn't more widely used. That's all I'll say about that.



Someone at Aria deserves to be fired for these signs.



View not bad. Not strip, but no complaints here for first timers like us. Automated everything when you walk in the room is hilarious and the wife takes the time to squeal before she sprints to the bathroom after having been doing the 'pee dance' all the way from the dispensary.



BR pick that was missing earlier.

Waking up at 5:30 this morning and trying to pack I yell up the stairs after searching for 5 minutes "do we have a rubber band??"
-"I dont know, check the drawers!"
Helpful, thanks. So we're working with this:



Waiting for her to shower and phone to charge, then time to get in a game. Let's go!

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Wife found a $10 auto shuffle bj table and plopped down while I wait for a PLO seat. Didn't know the WPT was here so the lists are brutal. Wait about 15-20 mins and get a seat. Table looks decent and we start with 300 since most people are short.

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Some hands:

I sit down with 300. Woman to my right been raising to 10 every hand. I make it 35 with aa68 nut hearts. 3 callers including her and I Cbet 115 on a KJ2hxx all fold.

I have ~360 and flat qj98ccdd in the sb 4 ways. Flop is q95cdh I bet 20 one caller. Turn is a 2h bringing backdoor hearts and I lead for 65 into an older gentlemen who's been active. He calls after a second again, starting to worry he has a monster obviously. River is a Jh completing the world and I figure if be doesn't have hearts or a straight its gonna be pretty tough go call and with my straight blockers I make it 120. He Hollywood tanks for like 2 minutes then makes it 240. I lolfold and he says "I knew you were bluffing!" Alright sir. Nice rebluff. PLAYER CHECKS!

Few hands later I make it 15 with Akqtddss and bet 25 on Q82dd. Super aggro asian raises to 105 and I jam for 440 he snaps and board runs out AxQx and I scoop. Let's goooo


I'm a psycho when it comes to beverages, jack&coke, coffee cream&sugar, water. Always try to strike just the right balance


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glgl. Let us know how the PLO games are, I'm looking to play there in a few weeks

Flat with kj3x in the bb because I've already started drinking and just went outside for a smoke. Flop k32cc I check call a bet of 25. Turn 3 bringing a second flush draw I check, second player checks, flop bettor makes it 55 and I raise to 200. Sort of face up as at least a 3 but there's draws and our boat sucks. All fold meh

Raise aces utg to 15 flop A33 with a flush guy I check raised in last hand makes it 35 I call. Turn blank he bets pot I just get it in since he only has like 100 back and I hear him say "how many times, I've got the nuts". They dont let us run it more than once at home so I'm almost always a 'yes' guy in Vegas. Both rivers brick and I sit there waiting for him to turn over quads. Turns out he said "YOU have the nuts" and he only had AK. I feel like a dick for unintentionally slow rolling and he leaves. Womp womp.

In for 600. Game good and/or I'm running very well. Had aces at least 4-5 times. My session tracker says I've been here for 1 hour 12 minutes...so yeah, that's probably abnormal.

Asked the table if anyone smoked because I didn't want to buy a 7 dollar lighter at the gift shop. Nobody speaks up except the dealer who hands me his lighter and says 'keep it'. What a mensch.

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Went to find the wife, managed to drag her away while she was still up a little. I'm in for 600, out for 1241.

"Household win!"-her


Off to Chada!

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Here we have a dynamic duo of "things I guess I knew existed but have never thought about willingly"--Air Supply at The Orleans.


The uber tries to drop us off at an empty strip mall where we find 'Charlie's.' And while I briefly consider trying to blame this on my lovely bride to soothe my pride, it's more than coincidental and I have to accept my idiocy and give the driver our new coordinates.

I had a brief moment of panic when I thought of what might happen if they had closed a day early just because..

But thankfully all was well and we were early enough it was empty.

They are out of some things that I've enjoyed like the wings, but they happened to have the oysters back even though they were crossed off the menu! Easy choice, they were incredible. 9.5/10

Followed up with spring rolls which was a first. Only gripe is that I choked on these and almost died. Hard to fault the food, but here we are. 8/10


The moo khum wan is my absolute favorite and didn't disappoint in the slightest. Maybe my favorite ever pork dish. 9/10


Drunken noodles were just alright--I wanted the pad kra pow but wife wanted noodles and will never wilfully order duck (to the moon, alice...) so we end up with chicken. I promise she's better than this. 6/10


Another dish for me only, the chuchee crispy prawns. My goodness I am going to miss this place. Wife doesn't eat shrimp or oysters so I've had all of the seafood portion of this tab and still want more. She sees the tears welling in my eyes and tells me to keep it together. I blubber into the last shrimp and dirty my shirt. 9/10


Overall about as good as I've come to expect, all things considered. Only complaint was what felt like a short glass of zin to go with my meal but it paired well and I dont make enough money to complain about wine.

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Looking over at my wife gently sleeping next to me in the uber doesn't give me much optimism for her making it all day tomorrow and I briefly make note of the fact that we've been up since 3am Vegas time before pivoting and silently deriding her as a lightweight.

"I deserve dessert and pizza brought to me in bed" is what I barely register as we walk down the infinitieth hallway to get to the room while I can't stop thinking of my favorite movie of all time and how apparently wrong it is about this place:
"Its a f***ing barn, we'll never fill it." -Mr. Fabulous

She falls asleep within 15 minutes and I let the phone charge before I head down. Already called ahead so first on the list for plo. The floor asks whether I'd rather sit 1/3 or 2/5 in the meantime. She leads me to the center floor where the tourney area is and I encounter my first real bad beat of the journey when I get to a table without a single alcoholic beverage and zero conversation. I mutter a curse under my breath and vow to give none of these wet blankets my fish dollars.

After two orbits of the most rage inducing fold-fest in history I raise to 15 pre in the CO with K9hh and the sb calls. Flop is 642hxx and he check calls my $25. Turn is a 5s which seems like a terrible card to barrel so I check behind. River is a 10, I check again and lose to A6s. Immediately get up and stand by the podium until they call my name for plo. Rack up a $43 loser and vow never again. Experiment complete!

The plo game is the same table with half of the same characters. They've added a cowboy hat or two however. I switch tables after a few orbits because the other table looks amazing. Turns out they divert me to a third table where the average stack is 300. I pot my first hand (qjt9) and the dealer says "wow. First time that's happened since I've been here". *insert Gob I've made a huge mistake gif*

Few hands later there's a small raise and I call with KQ25ds. Flop jt9 and I've got the second nut flush draw. I manage to go bet bet bet against a super call happy looking asian guy for full stack and he doesn't show.


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I get in 2 hands with a nice young lady who has been playing 2-300. I raise AT78ds to 20 from mp and she calls in the bb. Flop A45cxx and she c/c 45. Turn is a 9 and it goes check check. River is an 8 and when she checks to me I briefly consider putting in a thin value bet, but I'm a coward and check behind. We beat her A4xx and I apologize sheepishly.

Very soon after I make it 20 with single suited AA92 in mp and get a caller. She pots from the sb and we get it in for like 250. She has AKKx with different suits but I hold on two boards shockingly


The amount of run good I'm getting is slightly unnerving. I grab a redbird to tip the floor after requesting 2 table changes and only taking one as I step outside for a smoke. Its 75 and beautiful and makes me forget what real life is like.

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This guy is holding up the bag from inside a box of wine for his buddy to drink. I set the age o/u at 19

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New guy drinking vodka watermelon sits down to my right and starts raising most hands. Says he doesn't know what he's doing but c'mon.

I flat A743 in lp after aggro makes it 20 after a limper. Flop T45dxx ep and aggro both check and I make it 50, only he calls. Turn is a 5 and he tank checks. Feel like he's just so often capped here to overpairs and draws so I make it 105 and he snap folds. I run to the bathroom and see this in the stall. It reeks of weed so assumed that's what was in it but wasn't gonna touch it.


My stack never gets above 1150 or so and the table stagnates over the next few hours. Eventually around 1:30 I've become the only obvious donator at the table and while I could probably put in some more hours if I needed to I'd rather get some sleep for another full day tomorrow.

I begin the search for dessert and decide on Milk Bar in the Cosmo which closes in 30 minutes and I make it with a few minutes to spare and encounter nearly no line. Chocolate cover pretzel soft serve was really good. Crack pie was decent. Get a text from the wife saying "myeh?" She manages to roll over when I press the 'goodnight' button on the wall and the automated curtain's 2000cc motor fills the room with an outrageous amount of noise and I know unless she falls right back to sleep there's gonna be trouble. She does, and I finish my dessert before hopefully getting a solid 5-6 hours.


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Hopefully they’ll be cool about giving you a late check out good luck, enjoying the read

I wake up at 10am and groggily remember her telling me that she was going down to play around 7 or 8 and complaining about being awake since 5. Yeah, that's what you get when you fall asleep at 8 o'clock at night. Few minutes to wash my face and figure out what sort of mix of aria chips and cash I should bring downstairs then I'm out the door after calling for a late check out. $25 for an extra 3 hours is meh but there's no chance I'm gonna do the packing alone.

Found her!


One thing that is as true for us as the end of time is me being the ultimate blackjack cooler. Literally every time I show up go say hi or check on her she loses, and this time is no different.

She pulls a 3 on 15 and loses:


Then splits aces and wins one. I consider this a major victory and scurry away to put my name on the plo list and find coffee.


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Deciding to do something I haven't done since we used to stay at the monte carlo I go THIS way:


And get as far as this hallway before turning back towards the safety of home.


Briefly consider taking the tram somewhere and then dismiss it as insane. Walk back towards the poker room and since I'm still all the way down the lists we're gonna mosey back on over towards Cosmo. Make a mental note of this being my daily exercise.

On another note, this is my favorite place in chicago and I was curious when I saw they had sort of changed the name and opened up a few locations. Wonder how it is here.


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The concierge spends 5 minutes calling around trying to find me a coffee place that isn't Starbucks or the jam packed aria bakery thing with no success.

Wife comes to meet me before we head to breakfast:
"I lied in bed awake for an hour watching a vacuum infomercial at like 4 am until I fell asleep again"
-"why wouldn't you just change the channel?"-me
"I didn't have it in me"

Isn't she the cutest?

We go to blueberry hill off the strip for breakfast since it's nice to escape for a bit and we have some time before checking out at 1. There is a disgusting amount of food and I am shamed.


I get some enormous breakfast plate and a side of oreo pancakes which are incredible but my foot starts to feel numb.


"Do you want to gnaw on my bone?"
-"no. What is the matter with you?"


She gets some chorizo egg thing with a side of biscuits and gravy which is great.


Get back to the room, pack, and back down to play some cards.

I sit down at 1/3, dont play a hand. Get called for new 2/5 table and take that. Draw unlucky bb first hand, fold 2 and then pick up jacks on the button. Folds to me I make it 15 both blinds fold and I again curse this game. Get called for plo and move, lugging my tray all the way around the room.


I play one half interesting hand when I raise kj25ds utg to 15 and the active guy to my left makes it 50. Folds to me and I call. Flop j76dxx and it goes check check. Turn is an 8 bringing a flush draw that isn't mine. I bet 100 and he tank folds.

Neeme walks in the room and I almost shout 'hey!' And wave but then remember he doesn't know me and that would be weird.

See this under my seat and feel sad I missed what must have been a good game.


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Guy to my left I played with last night makes it 25 one guy and then I limp. 4 players in to me and I call with JJ78cc. Flop T94cxx checks to me I make it 120 preflop raiser flats, sb pots I all and guy to my left says screw it and calls. I get baited into running it twice and win the first board, Lose the second when the sb turns quads with his 9944. Chop up third guys money and I get the extra buck for winning the top board-score!


I then get it in with the same guy on my left on a Q53ss board with AJT7 nut spades and lose both runouts to KQss33. I am awful and pull out another 100 from my pocket.


Need some rungood and self control. Not playing very well atm

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I open Q996ccss from the button to 15 when it folds to me and only the same guy on my left calls. Flop J86csx and he checks. Not a great board for my perceived range but one I'll be able to barrel on tons of turns so I make it 20 and he calls. Turn is a 3c and he checks again. Picked up a flush draw and my double gutter means this is an easy bet so I make it 65 and he calls quickly. River is a 10 and he checks. I check behind and he says 'I got it' and turns over T3xx. I put another 100 on the table and get up to go smoke down about 400 so far.

Thread saver I snuck this morning to help me feel better.


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Good report so far!