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Old 10-05-2019, 05:48 PM   #1
arthurbach
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I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Procrastinated with my last few TRs something awful. Finally gonna try and do this. Went in April, May, August and Sept. May trip had a few stories, nothing crazy. April was the most noteworthy, the others not so much but a few crazy things. I'll never say never but this is probably gonna be my last time doing this for a few reasons. I have enjoyed reflecting on these trips and since this will probably be my last one I'm gonna include some old pics with brief explanations. (this would not be happening without addy )


I went in April 2012 for the CMA awards, stayed at Aria. Didn't realize the M Jordan celebrity golf tourney was same weekend. Played B jack at a 15 dollar table trying to keep it calm. Pretty normal for me to start off small with conservative intentions, a few shots later I'm playing 500 a hand at a sucker table. I was losing and started getting crazy. Guy next to me was tripping out watching me. He said you cut the cards, I said hell-o no, you do it. He cut and we went on a crazy run, became friends. Played with him again the next night, won. Night after that, won again. He was crazy luck, I told him he wasn't leaving me. We went to the bar, drank for a bit. Brett Hull was there, he was awesome. When Wayne Gretzky walked in I said I have to get a pic with the 2 greatest of all time.


I got my lucky friend to take the pic. Wayne and Brett heckled him. I said you know (blank) ? They said, yeah he's our agent. For 3 days the guy never boasted about that, very rare in Vegas. I got to know Wayne's family, hung out with em some that trip. His full time caddy was hilarious, from Tennessee so we had similar accents, got along well. Was drinking with him and Wayne's son when the caddie admired my 2 dollar bills. I jokingly said I'll trade you one for that bracelet. He said sure. You could get in everywhere with that bracelet, full access at Shadow Creek. I had to get a pic





The whole Gretzky crew were cool. Wayne has to be the most famous person in Canada and one of the most famous in the world. He got hounded like crazy even in the low key high limit lounge. I never saw him refuse a pic or autograph. His agent and I were waiting for him one time when he got mobbed. He kept saying, "ok, this is the last one" but he couldn't tell anyone no. I told his agent I bet you've heard that a few times? He said they will be at the airport, he will say last one, signs 70 more. The next year it was my friend's birthday. It was probly azzholish of me to ask this of him, but I really wanted it for my buddy. Wayne is a great guy. Roger Clemens to his right, he looked like he had been eating good




That trip in 2012 ended up being what got me hooked on Vegas, I went back regularly after that. Crazy how fate can be, I dropped a chip in the high limit room and it must have rolled 20 feet, landed by this guy's shoe. I ran it down, the guy looked at me and said "no way mother F***** that's mine now". We hit it off immediately. Over 7 years ago and we still talk often. His brother gambled very big, and a couple of his friends were whales. They invited me to their cabana the next day. They had the cabana next to Jordan and got the baller treatment. One of the guys tips more than anyone I have ever seen. I have witnessed him tip B jack dealers at least 75k in an hour and the waitress 1k a drink if he is running good. I think they enjoyed watching me trip out at the treatment they got. Had a ton of hot girls follow them.






That crew lived a few hours from me and we have hung out a lot since. Vegas, Florida, other places. Once I asked to take a pic of one of em's cashout, close to a million. He said sure. You would think Aria employees would say no but if he said yes, they weren't saying a word. Check out the 1k chips by his hand, that's for tipping the waitress.




Went back for the Jordan turney in 2013. I had never watched the show The Office, had a friend who loved this guy so got a pic with him. Brian Baumgartner played in the golf turney every year, still plays in the Jeter turney. I would end up having several crazy times cutting up with him. Great guy






The Jordan turney used to be huge. Had to get a pic with Christina Milian, she was a sweetheart




Attending the golf turney every year and hanging with the baller crowd made for a whole lot of celebrity run ins through the years. Not just, "hey can I get a pic" but actually drinking, cutting up with many. I have caught some flack about some of the things I have posted, so I'm just gonna say everything I write is kinda in the way O.J. wrote his "If I Did It" book. I'm disclaiming its all fiction for entertainment purposes. In 2013 I met my favorite TV character of all time, Kevin Dillon "Johnny Drama"




We had a talked a lot when we met, had a good time. The next night the turney was over, a lot of people had left but he hung around. I was by myself at the bar, he sits down and we drank for a while.



Kevin was super nice. He was cool and funny like Johnny Drama but also very kind to everyone. We hit it off immediately. All the celebs kept asking about the Entourage movie that was in development. He was like a celeb amongst the celebs. Even M Jordan seemed to like him. Michael Phelps came and hung out a bit, we all 3 took shots of Jameson and it started getting crazy after that. Kevin wanted to go to The Bank at Bellagio, bartender said his buddy works there, he would take care of us, send a limo. Kevin said "wanna go Slim?" I said ............



At that point in time Kevin walking around in Las Vegas was like Spock walking through comic con or well... Mickey Mouse walking through Disneyland. Everyone wanted a pic. He was getting mobbed outside The Bank where the long line was. Kevin was cool, took as many pics as he could. The manager or someone grabbed us, walked us inside and upstairs to a private area with a nice table setup. Must have cost about 2k and I was thinking oh crap... Kevin and I went broke earlier playing B Jack and I was like I hope they take Mlife points




The manager/ owner whatever paid a lot of attention to us, they were happy Kevin was there. Kevin had told me he used to get 10k or much more for club appearances. Manager asked Kevin if he wanted another table downstairs where the crowd was. We had quite a few drinks in us at this point and I'm like crap, who's gonna pay for this? The manager said to me "If you let my employees take a few pics with Kevin I'll take care of your tab tonight. I said you will have to ask him but I'm pretty dam sure that's cool. It was wild down there.




When we left, they snuck us out the back. We went back in, hit the ATM, more B Jack. I got a kick out of Kevin using the cheat card you can see in the pic





We had moved to another table and eventually this man doesn't even sit down, just throws 10k on 1st base. Gets dealt 16, says screw it and leaves. He didn't even care to finish the hand. I walked over and told him they won't continue the game until he plays it. He says its gonna lose, I dont care, if it wins you can have it. 20k?? My heart starts racing as he walks up, hits the 16. He's didnt even break stride as a 10 came and he went back to his table. Oh well. When we left I looked at the guy playing a 25 min table with what had to have been 500k in chips splashed everywhere, he was drunk as crap.

There are a ton of stories from that evening, a heck of a night. Even on addy I don't have the energy to type em all. We went back to Aria, played B jack. Others were at the table, a guy that looked like Howard Wolowitz and a guy with a hoodie on. I was inebriated. We were having fun cutting up, I asked Howard his name, then the other guy (who apparently was a famous rapper) I guess he took offense I didn't recognize him, said his name was Cornell. I was hammered and later referred to him as Cornelius, not trying to be a dick or nothing. I was in a low key mode, not a shiit talking one. He started screwing with me and I just took it. (he had a big bodyguard with him) While we were sitting there, my buddy on east coast time was headed to work, called me and I put Johnny Drama on the phone, that was awesome. A random girl wanted to play, tried to buy in with 100. They told her it was 100 min table so she put it on one hand. Cornell said don't do that, you are gonna mess up the run of the cards, which is understandable. She left and Cornell said "she just wanted to say she played with ummmm "Neddy" (if I did it)

I recognized him and said oh, ok you're Neddy. Too much context to type after that. He started screwing with me, it was all fun but he was giving me hell. My energy level was on E, I didn't even try to come back at him. Kevin and I had been on our "bromantic" date for about 15 hours at that point. He was like a friend being protective. Kevin had caught just some of it, heard Cornell screwing with me and didn't like it. When we left Kevin asked me what was his deal? I said ehh, he's just running his mouth. I remember Kevin walking in front of me, turning around and the Johnny Drama came out. "Man FUUK that guy!!!" Talked about going back and having words with Neddy

We went to Cafe Aria. Even while we were eating Kevin took pics with people that asked, including me



We sat there a while, he told me lots of good stories. Catching hell growing up from other kids being Matt Dillon's younger brother, filming The Doors, working with Oliver Stone, a ton of Entourage tales. He insisted on picking up the tab. Kevin really was one of the nicest, coolest people I have ever met. We talked on the phone several times after that. He was single at the time, invited me to hang out in LA which I will forever regret not doing.
We used to sit around Sunday nights, dreading Monday morning and loved living vicariously through "Entourage" We used to say how cool it would be to live that life. The Vegas episode was always my fav and I can honestly say the real life episode I lived out that night was way way better. Definitely one of the funnest nights of my life, all thanks to Kevin for being such a great guy. It was like make a wish foundation arranged it for me or something.

I'm trying not to drag this out but some of the good stuff I wanna tell one last time. The next night I was broke, had about 500 to make it another week. I thought I would just talk to my dealer friend at Bellagio all night, drink for free when the guy who played the 10k hand walks up. Long story short I bought into his 25 min table to watch the show. He had over 1 million in front of him




When I tipped the waitress a 2 dollar bill he said those are cool. I jokingly said I'll trade you one for a 500 chip. He said sure, tossed the chip at me. I grabbed the other eight 2s I had on me, placed em in front of him. He said no... that was a one time exchange rate. I said well shoot man, keep em. You gave me 500, thank you. He looked me in the eye, said really? Ehhh, wth. Grabbed 4k in yellow, tossed em at me. He said you gonna play with me? I said dagon right. Ran it up to 20k and cashed out. Walked in that place with $200 and a sad face.... walked out with 20k and a grin you couldn't wipe off with a brillo pad. You never know what can happen.

To finish the Cornell/Neddy story, the next year at the turney, I wasn't playing but sitting at a table talking to a dealer friend. Everyone was in there that night, ton of celebs. I had taken addy (makes for a loud mouth) and plenty of vodka. Neddy sits down and in my state I guess I sought redemption. I was talking very loudly. Cornelius! how the hell-o you doing. He was like yeah, whats up. I only watched poker on TV during the boom, don't recognize many players but I must have caught that Jean Bellande guy's attention as loud as I was. He asked Cornell if his girl could get a pic with him or something. Cornell told me, see man, will you quiet down? Now everybody gonna come over wanting a pic. I loudly said oh, I'm sorry I didn't realize Elvis had entered the building. We got Wayne Gretzky, Michael Jordan and Clark Griswold over here playing black jack but lord, don't let it be known we are graced with the presence of Cornelius. He got rattled to say the least. One of the head honchos came to kick me out but he knew me, just said sit at the bar. This was quite the scene to say the least, I ran my mouth plenty. Later on Phil Hellmuth came over and asked what happened. He was a really nice guy




The next morning we get out of the elevator and guess who walks out of the elevator across from me at the same time
I was tired, hungover. I calmly said how you doing Cornell. He said awww hell and walked off. He walked about 20 feet, then came back, shook my hand and said my bad about last night. I said naw, I was in rare form. He said yeah, you were louder than hell. We laughed about it and it was cool. My buddy was like lets get a pic with him. I said no way, but he really wanted one so I took it





Going through all the old pics on my phone is a trip, would take forever to tell all the stories. Since this is my last TR I'm gonna include a few but try and make it quick or I will never finish this.

I think I've only played in 2 poker turneys ever. Signed up late for one at the Wynn once. They sat me at a table by myself, guy comes and sits next to me is Ray Romano. Great guy, he answered my phone when a friend called. He's really nice, funny guy.








One night M Jordan walks up to roulette, first spin throws 3k on 23. Of course he hits for 105k... poor guy



Matt Damon stayed at the Aria for a stint while filming a movie. Friends that work there said he was very nice



About 2.5 years ago played B jack with a guy for a while that was cool and we got along well, had some really good laughs. We was a rapper, kind of famous at the time but I had never seen him since I don't care for modern day rap. I liked his tattoos though so got a pic.



Played with him again about 5 months later and you could tell from passers by he had gotten a lot more famous



One night me and a longtime female friend were playing poker, met some girls that were real cool. They all wanted to go to the boobie bar. I don't care for boobie bars but went anyway. They wanted to go to Floyd Mayweather's, said they knew him and would get hooked up. I figured, free admission, awesome. We went in, got escorted to a private area and got the royal treatment



The area had its on pole, was pretty wild



They had what was like a small bank where you purchased stacks of ones. I thought I was cool as Fonzie when I broke out my 2 dollar bills
A guy that had just sat down next to me politely got my attention and nodded his head no about my 2s. I was like huh?? Then realized it was Mayweather. I was like you don't like the 2s man? He tried to explained something, didn't really understand it but I sure wasn't gonna argue. He was really nice, hooked up some great food. I had heard it was 10k an hour to rent that space. We drank, ate all night, got it all hooked up. I never cared for him til I met him, he seemed genuinely nice though. This was just a couple months after the Mcgregor fight, he was probably still in a good mood I'm sure, but very nice nonetheless.




The girls we met that night were both models/actresses I have seen on TV and movies a lot since. Crazy who you can meet out there, what can happen on any night.




Done Halloween out there many times, love it






Might as well include this pic while I'm at it... for obvious reasons




The addy has worn off but I am gonna go ahead and post what I have written so far so I don't keep procrastinating with this, gonna finish soon
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Old 10-05-2019, 06:45 PM   #2
CheckRaise
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Epic post
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Old 10-05-2019, 08:55 PM   #3
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Transcends epicity.
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Old 10-06-2019, 01:05 AM   #4
NhlNut
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

I don't believe my lying eyes
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Old 10-06-2019, 05:43 AM   #5
Da_Nit
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Haha is that last pic a wax statue?
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Old 10-06-2019, 11:55 AM   #6
marky147
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

You are the GOAT trip report author, Slim!
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Old 10-06-2019, 11:30 PM   #7
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

I am looking forward to your next installment.
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Old 10-07-2019, 12:28 AM   #8
wsopfinaltable
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Charlie Sheen’s doppelgänger
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Old 10-07-2019, 03:06 AM   #9
rickroll
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Awesome stuff man, looking forward for the rest
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Old 10-07-2019, 09:15 AM   #10
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

holy moly! subbed. :-)
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Old 10-07-2019, 04:19 PM   #11
sublime_fan24
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Slim is the best; love your posts; thanks for sharing! Disclaimer noted; this is all fiction
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Old 10-07-2019, 04:24 PM   #12
robrich
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Oh please don't make this your last trip or TR.

Epic is an understatement.

Always pleased to see a new TR post from you.
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Old 10-07-2019, 06:32 PM   #13
BigJoeStack
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

We need to start a GoFundMe, to keep these TR's going.. lol.. you are beyond a baller Slim.. love the TR's
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Old 10-07-2019, 07:19 PM   #14
jelloman
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

No one is ever gonna want to do a trip report after seeing this. You set the bar too high !

More !
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Old 10-07-2019, 09:02 PM   #15
borg23
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jelloman View Post
No one is ever gonna want to do a trip report after seeing this. You set the bar too high !

More !
Awesome!
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Old 10-08-2019, 09:03 AM   #16
IV.Geoffrey
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Can't stop trip reports now, they are too good
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Old 10-08-2019, 11:49 AM   #17
PaulyJames200x
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

1. Who are you? Are you just a regular guy or someone sort of famous?


2. How in the world do you get pictures with these famous people if you are just a regular guy?
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Old 10-08-2019, 01:41 PM   #18
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Solid. Nice job, OP.

I actually picked up 50 two bills from the bank for my upcoming trip.
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Old 10-08-2019, 02:18 PM   #19
rickroll
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulyJames200x View Post
1. Who are you? Are you just a regular guy or someone sort of famous?
Slim is at least 2+2 famous, I came here because someone on another thread mentioned it

Quote:
2. How in the world do you get pictures with these famous people if you are just a regular guy?
He's been pretty transparent about that, he participated in a celebrity filled golf event and then does high limit gambling with them after the event

Anyone sufficiently rolled to do so can get access to these people by attending the right events as a fellow participant rather than a spectator - whether or not you have the winning personality to make them like you in that very brief moment of snap judgement introductions is another thing entirely

The proceeds also go to charity as well fyi
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Old 10-08-2019, 04:56 PM   #20
Stu Ungar
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

I met Slim in Vegas and was surprised when he talked he sounded right out of Deliverance..
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Old 10-09-2019, 02:36 AM   #21
PaulyJames200x
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Okay so in other words, the OP has quite a bit of money then.



What confuses me is it seems like in these trip reports, it always shows him like betting like a small roller... so i thought how was this even possible. Like he isn't betting a lot etc.
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Old 10-09-2019, 03:58 AM   #22
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulyJames200x View Post
Okay so in other words, the OP has quite a bit of money then.



What confuses me is it seems like in these trip reports, it always shows him like betting like a small roller... so i thought how was this even possible. Like he isn't betting a lot etc.
I suggest you check his previous TRs, he is betting $5-10 000 per hand on BJ. That is not small by any standards.
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Old 10-09-2019, 04:02 AM   #23
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Quote:
Originally Posted by PaulyJames200x View Post
Okay so in other words, the OP has quite a bit of money then.



What confuses me is it seems like in these trip reports, it always shows him like betting like a small roller... so i thought how was this even possible. Like he isn't betting a lot etc.
I wish I was this broke...



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Old 10-09-2019, 05:26 PM   #24
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Moar!!!
And thank you for sharing.
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Old 10-09-2019, 06:36 PM   #25
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re: I am not a degen, I do not drink, stalk celebs, or harass hookers

Always enjoyed your TRs except when you lost big.

What are the reasons you decided to not do a new one in future? (If you don’t mind sharing of course)

Still, these trip reports were good entertainment and enjoyed them while they lasted. Thanks Slim.
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