Well that escalated quickly ...

Is that what feminism is? I guess I was confused.

I think it's common sense.

This is approaching Degen Stories thread level of epicness. lol

Not in Vegas, but hooker related, was the guy on the Broncos whose brother got pinched in San Jose. Cost him his chance to watch the Super Bowl in person because they sent him back to Denver.

Yeah, he was a practice squad safety. I just don't understand how people can be so friggin stupid when their team is about to play in the Super Bowl.

Not the first time the little head overruled the big head. I know I would be better off if the big head made more of my decisions.

I don't understand the title of this thread. Shouldn't it be "Hooker's Hunting"? Because, if you want hookers, all you have to do is sit at the Binions slot bar late at night and watch about two dozen worn out hookers show up. Hopefully, you aren't just a naive slot player trying to have a beer, because the nastiest women in town all congregate on that bar near the end of their shift and won't leave you alone. Binions could probably make some decent coin if they rented out closets in 15min intervals. Either that or they need to name a hooker parking lot where they can turn tricks out of their cars for $50. Guys could just line up for their blow jobs and there'd be a line of 1980's sedans parked in a row with red carpet leading to the back doors.

Seinfeld did it.

A stripper and hooker told me the following story. I do not claim it is true, only that I am faithfully retelling what she told me.

She and 5 or 6 friends, mixed group of guys/girls aged 20s to 40s, saved up something like $6000 for a week or two of degenning in Tijuana.

Day 2, their nascent adventure is barely out of the gates, and they find themselves in a brothel. One dude goes off to a room with a working girl. While the dude is banging her, he asks if he can PIIHB, she doesn't seem to object, so he proceeds to have anal with her.

When he is done, she demands $1500 (or something like that) for the anal, and he says GTFO you should have asked for it beforehand. He dresses and hooks up with his friends, and before they get very far, the cops show up.

They are all searched and detained and scared out of their wits. They have cocaine and pills and marijuana on them, which the cops find. They are given the following choice. The dude could be arrested for sodomy, or they can make things right with the hooker, and of course with them (the cops). $6000 should just about do it, and whatever they decide, they aren't getting their drugs back. Take your time, you've got 2 minutes to decide before we throw him in a Mexican prison... and if any of you look at us cross, you can join him.

So they paid, and broke, their trip was over before it really began.

Oh yeah, hooker trip report - is it ok if it isn't in Las Vegas?

In my entire life I had been in 2 strip clubs for a grand total of 15 minutes. I love titties, but these places were dirty and smokey and smelly and full of degenerate scumbags. I just don't see how I could possibly relax in them, and never had any interest in going back.

But I'm out of town, visiting a friend who lives in the middle of nowhere in Kentucky, and we decide to go hang out somewhere in town. I think he is taking me to a ****ty rundown greasy spoon, because it looks like a little hellhole on the side of the road mom and pop restaurant, but it turns out it is a strip club, or at least the Kentucky (or possibly we drove into Ohio or Indiana? I don't know) version of a strip club. If I remember right, the girls on stage keep their tops on, but flash a little tit as the grand finale. So it isn't really a strip club, its more like a skanks in underwear club.

Anyway, one very pretty 20s midwestern girl who seems pleasant and speaks nicely and has all her teeth and everything haunches down next to me and asks me how I'm doing, introduces herself, tells me I look handsome, and asks if I would like to take her to the VIP area. She explains very plainly that if I take her there, she will take her top off and let me see her bare breasts. As clean and classy as she seems, in stark contrast to everything else about the place, she has tiny breasts and I'm not even slightly tempted. She mentions "the other girls won't take off their tops*," so just remember her pretty face and come find her if I change my mind. Sure, whatever.

*Remember this claim; it will seriously be called into question in about 1.5 seconds.

My friend goes to buy drinks, and a second girl comes up to me immediately. This one sits on my lap, without any provocation from me pops a boob out of her top, and puts in on my face and in my mouth, while she whispers in my ear "want to have a good time? I promise I'll make you cum." She was kinda fat, and kinda ugly, but had really nice tits. She started tonguing my ear and sucking on it and for a moment I thought she might make me cum right then and there, because I was just not expecting this at all, and this was basically the first time in my life a strange big breasted woman had ever put her tit in my mouth and started grinding on me.

For better or for worse, I was not interested. I told her I was just here for moral support, but my friend would probably enjoy having a good time with her.

He comes back, and before she can get on his lap, I have this realization that it will make me feel very dirty if I have to sit and watch her do the same exact routine on him that she just did on me. I don't want a tit that was just in my mouth in that jamoke's mouth! The tongue that was just in my ear should not go into his filthy wax hole! And that thought makes me laugh. So as I am laughing out loud, I put my arm around her shoulder so she doesn't move over to my buddy, and I say (still laughing, which probably puzzled them, and made it all the more funny to me, thus causing more laughter) "she'll make you cum if you want, I told her you'd probably be up for it."

I'm practically doubling over laughing, kind of reviewing the scene in my head while it is happening, very surreal, and the stripper/hooker is polite and smiling and looking at me like I'm ******ed or something, but also trying to look sexy at my friend, and says, "if you pay $40 to take me into the VIP area, I will definitely make you come, I promise, don't even worry about it, but I expect a nice tip from you when we're done." He says ok, they walk over to the bar and pay the bartender the $40 (I don't know if it is usually done that way; seemed weird to me), and they walk into the VIP area...

The VIP area is two tables/booths on the left side of the room. They are not secluded. They are not closed off. They are not private. At all.

Now I'm choking and gagging I'm laughing so hard, as they sit down like 10 feet away from me in the "VIP area." At one point I notice the door man or bouncer or whatever is looking at me and chuckling. I don't know what he thought was happening, but I'd like to think it was pretty clear I was amused at the absurdity of this whole thing, this dirty run down one room strip club where they don't take off their clothes, and I'm interested to see whether my friend is actually going to get off, or be blue balled or ripped off in some way.

She starts lapdancing my friend, and I try not to stair, I glance away a lot, but did I mention I like titties? And she has big nice ones, and they are out, so I'm looking a lot. I guess I'm not jaded like the typical strip club patron. I am still aroused just by seeing a naked lady!

So anyway, after a minute, to my shock and slight horror, just 10 feet away from me and in pretty much plain site, she opens his pants and starts stroking his dick. My jaw drops to the floor. Initially I thought the VIP would be a closed room and they would go in there and bang, but once I saw it was just the table next to me, I assumed she was putting him on, or at best she was going to dry hump him. So I'm flabbergasted. And I can see my friend's dick - never thought that would happen. And eventually, I'm bored. She is jacking him off and lapdancing on him and occasionally putting her tits or her mouth down in his crotch, for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, 45 minutes. I guess me (and everyone else in the place) watching him isn't really doing it for him.

Finally, 50 minutes in, at this point I'm mostly looking at my phone and only shooting the occasional glance at them. I'm seriously considering texting him or just walking over and telling him I want to leave (he drove). So I look at him, contemplating what to do, and I'm just in time to see her jump down to her knees and finish him off in her mouth. Yum.

I am no longer laughing, and I suddenly feel like throwing up, because now it is like I just had a threesome with this chubby whore and my gross slob of a friend. I mean, yes I am fully dressed and 10 feet away, but I just watched him cum into her. Gross.

On the way home, I'm silent, and my friend starts giggling more and more until eventually his is choking himself laughing, and I start laughing too, and we just laugh for the next 30 minutes. We get back to his place, I take a very fast shower and settle down on his guest bed, I am just about to pass out, when I hear him scream. I turn on the lights, and he comes storming into the guess room buck naked.

It wasn't bad enough that I saw him ejac less than an hour ago, now he is wagging his dick in my face shouting, "she rubbed it raw, she destroyed my dick!" There are big areas of it that are just red and oozing.

I guess the scream wasn't because he was surprised, but because his underwear had scabbed into the oozy spots and then when he pulled them off, it ripped it all open. Ouch.

Anyway, I ask him if she put her mouth all the way down on it, and he says he is pretty sure she just sucked up the ejaculation right out of the end without really putting it in her mouth. So then my weird sense of humor gets the best of me again, and I start laughing, and barely manage to say, "are you sure it didn't look like that already?" That gets him to laugh too. I tell him to get his dick the hell out of my face, you probably can't get AIDS from her hand touching his bleeding open wound of a cock, so he is probably ok. Secretly, I'm very concerned that my friend now has AIDS. I wonder if there is something that an ER could do to help prevent the AIDS from taking hold if we hopped in the car and drove to the hospital right now. But I'm tired, so I do not bring it up.

I didn't think of this then, but now it occurs to me: in the dark of that nasty strip club, did that stripper walk away from this whole thing with his penis blood smeared on her hands or body or face? Holy cow, that would be awkward.

Also, the next day he told me after 50 minutes of jacking off which was very painful by the end, when he was walking away he handed her about 12 dollars wadded up to look like more than it really was. That was why we made a b-line out of there.

I hadn't even noticed that we made a b-line out; I was just tired of sitting there and a little freaked out and ready to leave.

As far as I know, he did not catch anything from her. But I never asked.

Wow! That was an awesome story!

Loved the part where he's 50 minutes into his injury inducing handy J and you're bored and like scrolling through facebook or lurking 2+2 while occasionally glancing up thinking to yourself "is he done yet? Nope, I can still see his hard dick..." and then going right back to being balls deep into your phone until he was finally and shamefully finished

A+ story true or not Turd Dust

"she rubbed it raw, she destroyed my dick!" There are big areas of it that are just red and oozing.

Jesus Christ that sounds really painful. Those Kentucky strippers don't mess around Great story

LOL Kentucky, where 1 out of 3 buildings next to a 2 lane highway are "strip clubs".

Fast track story time. Went to Las Chicas Bonitas in North Las Vegas last year with some friends on a drunken Uber ride. For anyone who doesn't know about Las Chicas Bonitas, it's a sweatbox in the HOOD! A stripclub with the avg demographic of gangbangers, illegal immigrants, low level drug dealers, and life degens such as myself.

Anyways, in a drunken stupor, I go for a lapdance with a stripper about 15 minutes into us being there. The girl, about a Vegas 4, real life 6, ass of a 10, and quite the noticeable stretch marks on her stomach takes me over to a private booth and it's quite dark in there. Typical, heavy touching lapdance ensues and I vaguely remember the dancer saying something about her sensitive nipples. She turns around towards me and starts grinding on me, facing me. A couple squeezes into playing with the boobs and all of a sudden on my face I feel a "drip...drip"

It's kind of hot so I'm thinking to myself "Is she sweating on me?" ...drip drip. ....I look her dead in the face, sober up and calmly say "I'm done, I gotta go now." My boys are smiling and want the story. In a sad, drunken mess the only words I could muster up to say to them was

"This bitch breastmilked on my face."

.....complete silence

"BREASTMILK MY (n-words)!! BREASTMILKS!"

The 3 of them fall out with laughter as the other 4 people in the club stare at us. I Uber'ed home without them. I haven't been back yet to see if the breastmilk serving dancer still works there.

Can you compare it to Larry's Villa?

I thought it was the other way 'round. Vegas 6 is a real life 4.

It depends. A natural born Vegas girl is on your scale. The hottest chick in small town Washington State moves down to Vegas and automatically drops 2 points.

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Never been to Washington State, but most chicks I see in Vegas aren't much. A combination of lots of makeup for Vegas, poor lighting, beer glasses, and general horniness cuz Vegas raises them 2 points above where they would be in the wild.

pig, you don't know how the rating scale works.

the average girl who lives and works in vegas is hotter than an average chick when you compare nationwide. so her score will drop when she moves to vegas from an uglier city.

the average girl who lives and works in LA is hotter than the average vegas girl.

so the same girl could be an 8 in washington, a 5 in vegas, and a 4 in LA. do you see how it works?

This place isn't still around is it?

I gotta say I prefer the Cougar Hunting thread to this one. This thread has a skeezy, cheap perfume and cigarette smoke kinda vibe to it.

Make that sound like a bad thing.


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I only know that it is because someone was shot and killed in their parking lot the other day.