These gals that you fine gentlemen speak of, I find by accident most times. I, being from Texas, am naturally friendly. My go to opening phrase is "How you doin'?" spoken in the inflection of Joey on the TV show Friends. Goofy? Yes. Stupid? Yes... But it makes me giggle inside. (FWIW I'm in the 40ish crowd and DGASA)

Ballys. 7:00am. I'm up early and go down to grab a coffee. I get off of the elevators and start walking thru the slots aisle and am met by a 6 foot ebony goddess coming the other direction. I, of course, say "How you doin'?" as I am passing. She was dressed very conservatively, but absolutely gorgeous. She does a 180 and says "I'm doin' fine, how are you doin?" I say "wonderful" but "I'm just having black coffee this morning"..... to which she smiles and says "have a great day" does another 180 and disappears.

Rio. 3:00am. I'm headed to the room after a long night in the pits. (-EV I know, but craps is fun!) I see 2 young blonds that appear to be waiting for the elevators. I issue the "how you doin'" line thinking we will be on the same ride up to be friendly. One of them says "We aren't waiting on the elevators, but if you need an escort up to your room, we'll each take an elbow." I briefly think about discussing price before i remember my GF is in my room and politely say "I think I can manage on my own." and.... well I mentioned this the next morning to my GF and she said "good call." Prude!

Flamingo. 11:00pm. Plaing VP with my GF at Bugsy's Bar. Decent looking young woman sits down next to me and pops a fiver into the machine to play and get a drink. I obviously can't help myself and turn to her and say "how you doin'?" to which she looks over at me and asks "do you need a date?" I say, without missing a beat, "I did, but you got here 10 minutes too late" and nod towards my GF. She grabs her drink, cashes out and leaves.

I am obviously not very good at this game

ha ha yeah i thought this was rather funny as well! you might say lol'ed

so accurate

and what exactly is DGASA? I've been pondering for awhile and can only come up with damn good at _____ ______. ???

Degenerated gambler, always sweaty armpits

So I'm at the WSOP Circuit event in New Orleans two years ago and my buddy whom was quite drunk after a long winning session at the 3/6 Limit table disappears. When I get back to the room I see his sorry ass propped up in bed but passed out. As I get ready to crash myself I notice the nice watch I left in the room is missing. As I start looking for it I find a slightly used condom on the floor.

WTF!?

He chuckles. And then confesses. "Dude, I picked up this hot lil Vietnamese thing at the casino, but I passed out on her. She must've stole your watch."

the most beautiful african american women I've ever seen in person propositioned me at 4am in the Luxor circa 2006. I regret turning her down =(

If you are hooker hunting, you have to remember to lead them.

Don't Give A **** Anymore

When I first started reading this forum, long before I joined, I had to keep another tab open with urban dictionary in order to get thru the posts. Not that this is listed there yet, but it is one of my goals for 2012. Yes, I know I set the bar quite low this year.

Just like the hookers, your answer assumes I paid full price for the watch. I inherited it from my father. And he paid zero out of pocket for it. Back in the days of stupid high interest rates, (early 80's) a couple of banks would GIVE you a Rolex as a premium (far better than a toaster) for opening a new 100K CD. My father had just sold his business so this was a way for him to get that gold watch at retirement. Not the story you expected; don't ASSUME, please.

It wouldn't be as bad if you did pay for the watch and didn't inherit it. PS- when you get something "free" it isn't always free. I'd be willing to bet he could have gotten a better interest rate at another bank.

That interest rate cut thing was true. We knew it. When it comes to finance, bankers, hookers, same thing right? They'll both rob you blind if you give them half a chance. TINSTAFL rules in both occupations (There Is No Such Thing As a Free Lunch.)

Hell, had a banker try to pull a fast one last week on me that even a hooker wouldn't try. Closed a bank account and got a letter from the bank accusing me of a $-2.00 overdraft for which they were going to charge me $25.00 A WEEK until I brought the balance current. My advice to the bank will be the same I will give OP - BEAT IT.

You have to lead the African-American hookers by a little more as they seem to be more athletic than the typical hooker.

"You shoot women and children?"

"Sometimes!"

"How do you shoot women? And children?"

"Ya just don't lead 'em so much!"

I keep expecting some picture of a guy with a bow and arrow shooting a hooker

In the knee?

On the first night of my first Vegas trip (Jan, 2009) I'm walking trough Circus Circus (yes, I’m a baller) hallway at around 04:30 in the morning wondering why I ignored all the “don’t eat, drink or sleep there” advices form the folks back home when I see this - at least 75 year old - guy stumbling towards an ATM with not one, but two HUGE African American ‘Entertainment Industry’ members.

Still the only story I tell when people ask me what Vegas is like.

Ths thread is pure gold!

Back in the mid-80's when Circus Circus was not yet run down, I used to stay at the Stardust during football season and make the quick rounds of the nearby sports books to check lines. I could check Stardust, CC, and the Rivera in about 30 minutes if I walked fast.

So it was about 9:30 AM and walking out of CC, there was this flashy blond in a swanky cocktail dress and high heels walking towards the front entrance. This alone was a humorous picture at that time of the morning. As she got closer she yelled out "Are you Mike?" and a guy behind me answered that he was. They exchanged pleasantries, and off they went.

Heh heh. Instant Classic!

I guess we will never see that again. Now it's probably trading texts telling the dude what you are wearing and what you are standing next to.

Cheers,

S

I don't think anyone else got it....heh heh....

YES! In the knee!! mwhahaha....

I think cold storage is like cold fusion.

Most of the hooks are anti text

So I usually go to the strip around midnight by myself each night to do random gambling (live poker, poker bot, and other random machines). I'm 35 and as I've gotten older, I get propositioned by prostitutes often. Since I fear stds.......and the thought that they have been with other guys that day- makes it disgusting enough to turn it down every time. I was tempted at Mandalay Bay a few months ago. A girl smiled at me and said hi while I was playing a machine........and she looked like a non prostitute. She was short/white/blond.........and had glasses on and was dressed in a sweater and jeans. She was very fit and cute but not showing a bunch of skin like regular hookers do. I got my hopes up that was an actual normal girl hitting on me- haha. So I said hi and she said take a walk with me. I cashed out like 137 bucks from the machine and started walking. I said, are you hungry.......I have comps and we can go eat.......can I buy you a drink? She's like, where's your room? I then knew what I was dealing with. She's like, all you have to do is give me that ticket (137 bucks) and we can have some fun. I said- I'm not really into those type of transactions. Here's the best part, she said "I'm not a prostitute or anything like that". I'm like.........what??? She goes: I'm a dancer..........and it's my day off. I just wanted to see if any cute guys were on the strip and wanted to have some fun. I said, but you still want the slot ticket.......? and she said- well it's more fun that way or something along those lines. I turned her down.......but in retrospect.........she might have just been a stripper and a very part time hooker- lol. It could have been her day off and she just got broke gambling and needed drug money. Like if I knew it wasn't something she usually does, I might have taken her up on it. The price was more than right!

To each their own I guess - I tend to be turned on by the idea she has been plowed multiple times that day, wears hooker clothing, and is just a skank bitch.

Also you would have got a nice lap dance for your $137 before you were pulling out more Benjamins for the real deal.

Young kid asks his Dad: "Hey, Dad, what's a hooker?"

Dad answers: "That's what I call your mama's friends!"

Gabriel Iglesias. aka Fluffy