2024 WSOP buildup: May 23, 2024
A poker sweat even before I leave for Las Vegas
I call my bank to see if my tournament bankroll and tip money has come in. I am told it has not arrived yet.
Don’t freak out, I tell myself. (I'm freaking out).
I ask if they can make a call to track the status.
They say they can’t call to find out when money deliveries are made for security reasons. While this is perfectly logical from their perspective, from my side of things this is approaching freak out level DEFCON 3 status.
Still, I don’t freak out on the outside (I am very much freaking out on the inside). I remind myself that you catch more flies with honey, so I calmly ask how much money I can withdraw if the money does not get delivered by tomorrow since the bank is closed Monday for Memorial Day and I leave the following day.
I am told that if necessary they will be able to come up with the money since this is not my fault.
I don’t ask how they will suddenly be able to find a solution. I’m just relieved to hear that they will make it happen.
A few hours later I receive a much-desired phone call. My money has arrived.
About an hour before the bank closes, I get there. There are no customers inside, which is good. I’d prefer strangers not see me receive this much money. I ask the bank teller to run the hundred dollar bills through their money counter. They bring me back to the counter, and it checks out. I tell them they don’t need to run the large stack of one dollar bills (for tipping) through the machine. I’ll take their word for it on the small bills.
The bank teller asks me what the money is for, probably because of the sum I am receiving. I tell him it is to play in the World Series of Poker. He types this information into the computer.
I fill out the withdrawal slip and the teller says he has to get his manager to sign off on this. His manager comes over, reads on the computer that the money is for the WSOP, and clearly he thinks this is the most interesting part of his day. He asks a few questions about the WSOP, and since there are still no other customers I don’t mind discussing the matter. He then says he knows someone who played professionally for a couple of years, and then says, “He came in around 100th place in the Main Event one year. Is that good?”
Yes, I tell him, that is very good.
I head out of the bank, and all of a sudden all kinds of people are getting out of cars and headed toward the bank entrance. It’s a set up!!!!!!
The first to walk near me is a woman. An older woman. I’d guess 75 years old. She looks tough. And she’s walking with a cane … which can be used as a weapon!!
I step aside, I hold my envelop full of money a little bit tighter, and she walks into the bank without incident. OK, that was a false alarm. I scoot quickly to my car. I get in, quickly lock the door and drive away as fast as I can.
I get home without incident. I find an out of the way spot to stash my cash. Now I need to protect my cash between now and when I leave in five days. There’s no excess cash in my WSOP bankroll to hire a security guard. Then I see my dog Astro. He is a sheltie, and shelties are very barky dogs. If a master thief breaks into our house, Astro will give him an earful.
However, after the initial explosion of barking, a good thief will quickly seize on Astro’s biggest leak as a guard dog. If the thief gives him a treat, Astro will sell his soul to the devil. Astro is a good boy, a very good boy, but once a thief starts feeding him treats, Astro will voluntarily share where Mrs. rppoker’s jewelry is. Fortunately, Astro did not see where I hid my WSOP bankroll.
As for Mrs. rppoker, I can’t count on her to be much of a deterrent. She fractured her ankle a month ago. She was talking to my younger daughter in one direction while walking Astro on a leash in the other direction when Astro saw a squirrel, tried to take off in pursuit and … you can figure out the rest. Mrs. rppoker stopped needing her walking boot yesterday but she is still moving kind of slow.
As for me, I figure if I have to throw a punch in anger my torn labrum from 10 years ago is sure to explode.
To recap, yes I have let my imagination completely run wild, but the paranoia that goes with carrying around this much cash is real. That means the WSOP emotions rattling around inside my brain are paranoia, impatience and excitement. It’s getting very crowded inside my head.