Cushlash don't concern yourself with petty bull**** in the office. I'm not saying don't be apathetic, just saying don't put any energy that you don't have to into that stuff.

1. Just work as hard and as fast as you can into soaking up everything and anything you can from this position until you get really good at it. That should be your number one priority imo.

2. And then in 1.5-2 years time you go apply for a new position in your company or you go job searching for a new position. Whether it be a promotion or even the same position with higher pay (its actually a fact negotiating salary at a new job for exactly the same position results in better pay than waiting around for a promotion).

Rinse and repeat steps 1 and 2 until you get that cush/dream/ comfortable job that you're happy with. That's how you create luck in a corporate environment.

The people who feel as if they are loyal or "company men" towards a certain corporation, or those that feel all they have to do is wait in line, wait to be noticed etc etc are doing it wrong. Of course there are crazy awesome companies and superiors that may make life easier but generally its the exception, not the norm.

Being proficient and professional isn't enough to quickly climb the ladder. It takes personality, some charm, extreme work ethic, and of course being assertive and at times maybe even slightly aggressive (when job searching/ negotiating) in order to quickly rise/ be noticed imo.

seriously, corporate environments love nothing more than promoting/ taking notice of Type A, go getter, extremely hard working personality types.

You might enjoy this from Chris Rock about "Job vs Career" its about 4 minutes:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tnlNUZqFzgY

I could see that happening at some point but as of yet I really only know about a very small piece of the business.

If you're actually not trolling, we definitely don't look at life the same way haha

ty sir, I am essentially just trying to put myself in good spots and execute when the opportunities are there.

Most of my job could be done from home. I have a laptop I can bring home but it is still expected that I come in M-F. I'm sure down the line I could bring it up and potentially work from home one day a week like you mention but probably not quite yet.

Unfortunately for my corporate career prospects, I am the antithesis of a Type-A go-getter.

So while I agree and think your outline is a viable strategy, I don't think that's a good path for me personally.

Nice, great clip. Chris Rock is classic, not always the funniest imo but he's got some Carlin-like wisdom.

Tomorrow will mark the 100th day since I have last played poker. Obviously when I took a job I knew I wouldn't be playing as much but I didn't expect to just not play for this long. It hasn't really been on purpose, I just haven't had time between work and other commitments to go play. Whats more interesting to me is how I feel about it after 100 days away.

I don't miss it really. I miss parts of the poker pro lifestyle but I'm not itching to go play or anything like that. However, whats surprising to me is that I'm also not overly happy to not be playing. I'm just kind of indifferent. Part of me expected to be markedly happier to not be in the casino and playing poker all the time. Don't get me wrong, the office environment is definitely more positive than the poker. I have also found the people to be noticeably nicer. Despite that, my overall happiness factor doesn't seem to have changed all that much, or at least maybe not as much as I expected it to.

There are likely lots of factors affecting this so its not as simple as this one thing changing. My diet/exercise routine has definitely taken a back-burner spot on the priority list so that could be affecting it as well. Regardless, I found it interesting that when I sat down and realized I hadn't played for that long, which is by far the longest stretch since starting as a pro in 2012, I didn't feel that strongly one way or another about it. I don't miss it, but I don't not miss it either.

In other news I finally got a standing desk. My co-worker was actually supposed to have gotten it but he said for me to take it since I probably wanted it more than him. Super nice of him and a concrete example of the positive environment relative to poker. I was pretty floored and he didn't seem to think it was a big deal but I really appreciated it nonetheless.

cushlash,

update? This is one of my favorite thread on two plus two which shows the real grind of a Las Vegas poker pro.

unemployed... possibly homeless by now

I know you are joking Rob. Cushlash is a great kid and I am sure that he is well on his way to his new adventure in his new job.

Still it would be nice to hear from him.

Thanks man, great timing as I was just about to post one, update incoming.

[x] unemployed
[ ] homeless

I appreciate the vote of confidence. Rob was operating on inside info though so he is right about my current employment status, full update in a bit.

As mentioned I am confirmed unemployed; this past Friday was my last day. It was a tough decision and one that I was thinking about for a few months. I really enjoyed the people I was working with but when it came down to it the 9-5 desk life is just not for me. I'm extremely glad to have had the opportunity and experience and I feel like some good things came from it.

First of all, while it may seem backwards, taking a 9-5 actually vastly increased my risk tolerance. As far as poker players go I was always definitely on the risk-averse side. However, once I got to a spot where I had consistent income rolling in I found myself willing to take some edges I might have passed on previously. In my opinion the experience has re-calibrated my risk tolerance to a more optimal level, one which I hope to maintain despite being back to having a less consistent income. I learned that my previous risk-averse tendencies were mostly fear-based and that even without the variance-free income I can continue to operate at a higher risk level without having any legitimate worries.

I also have a lot more perspective on what its like to work 9-5. I always said I wanted to avoid that life but in reality I had never tried it. Now that I have, I can say much more confidently that it is not the lifestyle that will maximize my happiness. Besides learning this one thing about myself - that I don't want to work 9-5 at a desk - I have gained confidence in my overall instincts. I was pretty sure the 9-5 life wasn't for me, but I was lost and doubting myself. Of course for most things, you don't know until you try, but its also important to trust yourself and not spend more time than is necessary to determine that something isn't for you.

Next, I have a renewed appreciation for the freedom I had/have with poker. I know what its like to not have that freedom now. My qualms with poker as a long-term strategy still remain, but I am now much more motivated to find a way to replicate the lifestyle poker offered with a different vehicle that works better for me. As I've mentioned before, I was very complacent the last few years as a poker pro. I said I wanted to do something else but I was comfortable enough to not really have to, so I didn't. I feel different now. I know that if I want to keep the poker lifestyle and remove the poker part that I'm going to have to actually do something, take some action, take some risks, and do some ****ing work.

I also realized that my unhappiness as a professional poker player was mostly a mental issue and had almost nothing to do with poker. Once basic human needs are met, happiness is largely a choice that has little to do with external factors and everything to do with your mindset. I thought I knew this already but I clearly need to remind myself more often. I'm not going to stop trying to improve things if doing so will make my life better. Along the way I just need to be grateful, not complain, and focus only on the the things that actually make my life better.

I've already had a few people close to me say something along the lines of "Ok, so you're going back to poker, which you were unhappy doing before...what gives?" Considering how much I complained about poker, this is a totally fair criticism. It's also one that's pretty tough to hear because I can hear the disappointment in their voice. I know they are only asking because they care about me and want me to be happy, which is almost worse because I feel like I'm disappointing them and myself at the same time. I've definitely wondered whether moving on from my job is indeed a step back.

I could explain all day long how I'm not just "going back to poker". How I'm simply using the fact that I have an income-producing skill I can use to fill the gap between what I was doing to what I'm going to do next. How that, because of poker, I don't have to continue with something for practical reasons if I no longer see a future with it. How I have a renewed sense of motivation to make something happen in another space that offers a similar level of freedom. How I realized my unhappiness with poker was largely a mindset issue. I would probably avoid using the exact phrase "this time is different" as to not sound like a drug addict or an abusive partner, but I know that that's how my pitch would sound like to a lot of people.

In the end, those are just words. Maybe they're true, or maybe its just me rationalizing my decision to go back to an easier life. I hope its the former, but I know that the latter is a possibility. Only time and my actions will tell.

Great update. Very interesting and unexpected choice, based on your last few posts. I would've expected you to have stayed on longer at the office gig, but can totally see why you didn't.

The 9-5 life is a tough grind if you don't HAVE to do it. And you most certainly do not.

I think your head's on fairly straight. Just keep pushing to get to where you want to go and you'll be fine. Keep us updated!

I wish you the best and look forward to the next chapter in this wonderful adventure we call life.

Thanks for the update. Best of luck!

Thanks for a great update Cush, and also thanks for a great thread and a great podcasts that ive learned alot from.

You have a humble reflected down to earth mind on poker/life/challenges/morale dilemmas that is extremely refreshing let me tell you.

Cush, feel like you 100% are making the right decision here. The choices aren't binary (1. work a 9-5, 2. play poker), which I think you realize.

I've been playing poker for 11 years now (damn). The happiest pros I've met are people who play maybe 10-20 hrs/wk and have some other self-employment side hustle.

I think you'll find something down the line that fits you well, don't worry that you haven't come across it yet. It took me maybe seven or eight years and a lot of missteps before I found a pretty sweet side gig that perfectly supplements poker. You will find one too eventually.

Thanks man, I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did if I'm being completely honest.

Thank you!

Sure thing, thanks!

Thanks man, that means a lot, I'm glad to hear that you got something out of them despite me being kind of all over the place with it all.

Thanks man, I totally agree that poker is a great supplement with 1 or more other side gigs. I also appreciate the decision support given that I constantly think I'm making the wrong one no matter what I choose haha. Hope all is well with you.

I took a long weekend to catch up on some sleep after my last day of the 9-5 but have since been back at the tables. It's been an interesting experience for sure, I almost feel like I need to re-learn poker. I used to study a lot when I first moved to Vegas but somewhere along the line I stopped because I felt I had established myself and just got complacent with improving. Taking this break from poker might have been the perfect thing to motivate me to improve again because I'm going to need to put in some work just to get back to where I was before.

I used to go a week without really getting into a situation where I was lost, this week it happened at least every couple hours. I've also been getting my ass kicked so that helps the motivation too. Obviously I've only been back a week so a ton of that is negative variance, but I can use that to my advantage to stay hungry and get better. I have a feeling that if I had come back and immediately started winning I might very well not feel the need to work on my game. Even if I don't want to play poker forever, I should give it my best while its part of my portfolio.

Post after post for months about playing poker making you depressed and wanting something more. How long did you last in the workforce? Grass is always greener. It’s funny because I work 50 hours a week and dream about playing poker for a living until I dump 2k playing 5-10 even after winning 4 straight sessions. Epic blog you have going tho and I’ve enjoyed reading along

I am in my 7-days a week work phase for the next 2 months and during that time you really miss being free, but when the collections start pouring in and at the end of the 2 months you realize how much future freedom you purchased with that 2 months of hard work, you do develop an appreciation for the perks that a paying job can bring. However, this is not the right thing for everyone, and our mission in life is to find the life-work balance that is right for us.

Update please!

I wanted to say keep doing what you're doing. I still think job over poker is best on paper but it's rare to see an unhappy/ unsatisfied person take a leap so props to you.

Most companies don't give a **** about you. You're simply a tool that can be easily replaced if something better comes up or when you get dull. And there are thousands of people waiting to take your place when you leave. It's one of the many depressing things about working for someone else.

Yep this is a more than fair criticism, as I explained in a recent post. If I were anyone reading this I'd be saying the same thing. Part of me is concerned that maybe I'm repeating the same cycle but I don't think that tells the whole story. Working a real job for a while was a valuable experience that provided me with several benefits, not the least of which was a different perspective, one which showed me that the life I had wasn't so bad. The fact that the "wanting something more" feeling didn't go away shows me that it wasn't poker that was necessarily making me feel that way and that I actually have some mental blocks that I need to figure out how to let go of. I am far from any solutions regarding this but its something I'm more aware of now and consciously working on.

Glad you are enjoying the blog, you are definitely correct that the grass is always greener.

Well said. Its definitely nice to have checks coming in regularly. I think I can purchase that freedom just the same, I just have to take my work more seriously instead of mailing it in as I've done for the past few years.

Update incoming haha. Thanks man, despite knowing I'm a winner in poker it was oddly scary to leave the job but I knew it was the right decision. As you say the job is prob best on paper but my whole life has been one giant "**** you" to whats good on paper so I don't see a reason to start worrying about that now.

For the last few years I was a professional poker player before taking my job I was basically just mailing it in. I coasted. I got to where I was good enough to achieve a certain level of success that met my financial needs and basically stopped there. Originally this was a conscious decision I made to give me time to focus on some non-poker goals that desperately needed attention. I got in much better shape physically. I worked on my social skills that, while overall fine, were seriously lacking where talking to women I was sexually attracted to was concerned. I didn't make much money during this time, but my life got significantly better.

However, once these goals were at a level that only required a bit of maintenance, I continued to coast with poker. Suddenly I didn't really feel like I had a purpose anymore. I was doing the same thing I had done with poker for a while, but my off-table focuses no longer required enough attention or offered enough room for progress to keep me engaged. So I got bored, complacent, jaded and unhappy. I was more or less just going through the motions, particularly with my work.

I thought maybe it was poker's fault. Its a boring activity, especially live poker. Some could argue that I got to the same point in poker that I did with my other pursuits. I was good enough that additional improvement was only at the margins and not as exciting. This might be partially true, especially at the stakes I was playing. But to play at any level that offered the level of reward I was looking for I was no where near good enough. I'm still not, but at least now I'm working towards it.

Working a real job made me realize it wasn't poker that made me depressed, it was doing it half-ass. When I do something worse that my best it makes me feel terrible. I've always been this way. When I was in school if I turned something in that I knew was garbage because for whatever reason I didn't feel like doing it right it made me feel awful. And I was doing that with poker for a long time. For most of that time it was perfectly fine because I needed to spend the lion's share of my energy on other, more important life goals. But once those were satisfied there was nothing left for me to pour my full effort into.

I should have put them into something. Anything. I reasoned that there was better fruit to be had in non-poker pursuits if I wanted to put real effort into, so whats the point of trying hard in poker? If I really wanted to try hard, I should do it with something that offers better rewards I thought. But half-assing poker provided me just enough sustenance to stifle any motivation to do anything else that I thought would provide better rewards for my effort. A thought which, by the way, I had no evidence or logical basis for other than its just kinda what I thought and other people said. Whats more is that by half-assing poker I was giving myself to permission to half-ass important things in life. If I'm half-assing what is effectively my only source of income, how on earth can I expect myself to put full effort into a side project that so far has absolutely no traction? I suppose I did exactly that when I set out to get in shape and learn how to be better with women, but that was more of me half-assing poker so I could full-ass those other goals which I had already defined. At this point I wasn't full-assing anything. I was just thinking of hypothetical things I could do while not taking action in much of anything. Even when I did do anything for real, it was a pathetic effort because I treated it the same way I treated poker. I mailed it in. I no longer had the intrinsic motivation that allowed me to put my full effort into things like working out, eating better, and learning a new set of social skills.

Why this is I'm not sure. Maybe the motivation for those things comes more naturally and the reason I don't have it for poker or side projects is just because I don't really want to do them. Whatever it is I'm not sure. But if I've taught myself to half-ass things, I can teach myself to full-ass them again. So right now I'm putting more effort into poker than I have in years. I'm watching training videos, trying new things, analyzing hands, talking with friends about poker, and playing a more consistent schedule. I'm not endlessly grinding by any means, but I'm already only 12 hours behind where I was last year at this point despite having worked a full-time job for the first 6 weeks of the year. And honestly it feels great. Poker, or anything for that matter, is a lot more fun when I put real effort in as opposed to going through the motions. It doesn't eliminate the negative parts of poker, particularly live poker, that I've discussed, but it certainly mitigates them a ton.

This also doesn't change the fact that I eventually do still want to move on from poker. I want to build something that's more scaleable and offers more lucrative rewards than the current poker landscape. I have no doubt I will be able to find something to satisfy these requirements. Right now I don't see such an opportunity within my sights, though I am confident one will come along as long as I put myself in the right position and pay close attention. So as far as I can tell, an important part of being ready to take advantage of future opportunities is practicing putting full-effort into the best ones I currently have. For me right now that is poker. So while it seems counter-intuitive seeing as how I know I eventually want to leave, I'm putting full effort into poker. No more mailing it in. I want to practice whole-assing something and working out those hard-work muscles so that when I have a legitimate idea or find or come across a good opportunity I'll be ready to take full advantage.

I did the Poker -> 9/5 gig(4 years) —> Poker. The day I left 9/5 was a big weight off my shoulder. I just hated it. That being said, I think doing 100% Poker affects ones mind in a bad way. It isn’t a good environment for developing and maintaining social skills, life perspectives. Being around negative people in the Poker affects you unless you’re consciously aware of it and know how to block it out.

I now put in 22-25 hrs/wk. the rest of the time I’m a part time landlord. I’ve acquired a few properties along the way. These will do not only provide me with stable, monthly income (they are not much now since the bank get a large chunk of it), but allow me to be interact and behave in a world outside of poker. It really helps me mentally to have that balance. Also, I’ve learn some basic skills as a landlord...wood repair, toilet repair, minor window glass replacement, installing ceiling fans, painting(below average), general cleaning, rodent trapping, etc. The point is that I have other responsibilities outside Poker and responsibilities make a person mature.

I still find that have a bunch of time on my hand. I use them to maintain relationship with family member, friends, running daily errands, working out, I’ve picked up reading, my cooking skills is awesome now. How I got to where I am took time and effort. I’ve picked up good behaviors and let go bad behaviors(I don’t watch porn anymore and I definately don’t miss it).

Glad you're enjoying yourself more again. I highly recommend learning mixed games, as I was in essentially the same head space that you describe a few years ago before learning how to play the mix. While I had to pay my dues in terms of time and money, I can say without a doubt that it saved my poker career, I have 10x more fun than I ever did when I was playing only holdem, and every session makes me want to get even better.

Most who I try to convince to play mixed games aren't willing to pay the price at the beginning, but the ones who did all thanked me later. If you're able to see the bigger picture and make the effort to improve, it's a no brainer both financially and for your own poker happiness.

Great display of self-awareness. Awesome to hear you're excited about learning poker again. Everything is more enjoyable when you're trying your hardest to be great at it. Without struggle there are no rewards.

Where do you find the mixed games in Vegas?