Nice to hear that you are looking at all of your options. As you point out nothing in the job arena is irreversible. What kind of things are you considering (e.g. engineer, information systems, etc.)?

I thought Az only had limit cash games, am i wrong or did it change

Yeah, last time played there (2013) you could only bet up to $100 I think. It wasn't really no limit or a 100bb buy in even.

Probably not engineer since I'd have to go back to school, which I'm pretty opposed to. The obvious route would be to pursue finance. That's pretty open ended though so I can't really say specifically. I'd like to work with or create something that teaches high school+ age people about basic personal finance since I think I'm pretty damn good at it and so many people get trapped in the rat race because of a lack of knowledge about how to budget/save/invest/etc.

I've also considered something in fitness/nutrition. I think my 100 lb weight loss and the things I learned along the way could be useful to help others with similar struggles.

The "no limit" games there are spread limit. They have a 2/3 game with a 300 max buy in which has a 300 max bet. Then a 3/5 game with a 1k max and a 500 max bet. 3 raises, so 4 total bets are allowed on each street. At these levels its basically the same as nl since the restriction only occasionally comes up and if it does its on the river or everyone is close to being all in anyways. The only times I saw it really change anything was preflop since a 4-bet is considered the cap so it might go 20-60-150 or something and thats the cap, in other words, no 5-betting. They do have 5/10 which is also a 500 max bet and I'm guessing it would come up a lot in that game but it never ran while I was there.

[QUOTE=cushlash;49604256]Probably not engineer since I'd have to go back to school, which I'm pretty opposed to. The obvious route would be to pursue finance. That's pretty open ended though so I can't really say specifically. I'd like to work with or create something that teaches high school+ age people about basic personal finance since I think I'm pretty damn good at it and so many people get trapped in the rat race because of a lack of knowledge about how to budget/save/invest/etc.

I've also considered something in fitness/nutrition. I think my 100 lb weight loss and the things I learned along the way could be useful to help others with similar struggles.


Go back to school to become a teacher to teach finance stuff.

Quit making it so hard. You don't want to play poker anymore. Get some type of job and starting putting in hours just to get in the swing of things.

Just wasting valuable time wasting away hours with poker when you're only putting 14% effort into it.

You only have so much time until you're out of money.....then you'll be back home grinding the 2/5 game with your bro at poto wondering what happened.

You are more or less correct here. I don't want to give up the freedom and that is why I've dragged my feet so much in this regard. I fully admitted to procrastinating/not taking action in my previous post.

This on the other hand is pretty lol. I don't post any specifics about my financial situation so saying I only have so much time before I run out of money is completely baseless. My life roll has continued to grow even with super low volume.

Haven't heard from you in a while. I hope that all is going well.

Thanks, things are going alright, just hasn't really been anything new and I felt my posts as of late were getting somewhat redundant.

I feel bad posting things when I have a stroke of motivation/inspiration and then mostly not following through. I feel like I get in certain moods sometimes and try to change my whole life all at once. I make a post about moving on from poker, then soon realize I actually have no ****ing idea what I want or am looking for, or even why I'm looking (my actual life goals are usually not predicated on me doing whatever it is I've convinced myself I "need" to do in these moments of quarter-life crisis).

Then I'm back to some sort of poker routine. I am simultaneously happy and sad. Happy because I am addicted to the lifestyle poker affords me. Sad because I've once again failed to break out of poker, which I'm quite honestly not even sure is something I want. Poker allows me to live a pretty kick ass life but also has a relatively low income ceiling for me. I wonder if this even matters.

Perhaps its just the American achievement and consumerist culture that is making me feel inadequate for my income level. But I can't help but wonder if sacrificing some of my "poker freedom" for more income would actually boost my overall life EV. None of the options that I suspect would be more profitable seem to fit the bill because they all involve more work than I have passion for. So I usually end up right back where I started despite being exhausted from thinking about it all day or all week or all month, not to mention all the other crap I did to feel productive while avoiding actually doing anything actually productive (kinda like cleaning your house or organizing your closet to put off having to do that one thing you really should do but don't want to).

It could be that I'm just too lazy/unmotivated/etc. to make a change. Maybe poker stole the work ethic that made me salutatorian in high school, graduate college in 3 years, save up a legitimate bankroll working full time summers and part time school years at a grocery store and a golf course, and then make it in Vegas as a pro poker player. Maybe I can't see the big picture of taking one step back so I can take two forward. I have no answers to any of these questions. I'm trying to make sense of all the competing motivations I seem to have, figuring out which to follow and which to dismiss. For right now I'm playing poker for my income and trying wrap my head around what the income-producing portion of my life should look like.




Man that post was unexpected. I really just planned on saying I really have nothing to say, turns out that wasn't true. Anyways I should point out that the above described struggle really only relates to the "career" portion of my life. Everything else is pretty fantastic at the moment. I'm on a good diet/exercise routine and am maintaining a level of physical health that I feel is optimal for my goals and desired lifestyle. Due to putting in quite a bit of effort in the dating/social side of things in the last couple years, my personal life is the best its ever been, like by a lot. Besides that I read a lot and do mostly whatever I want. Life is good, I'm just struggling with how I want the income-producing part of my life to look like and how I want to execute it.

Actually I think things are going really well for you, and perhaps better than you may realize. It took me several years to really find my way, and I don't think that my experience was much different from a lot of people. I think that it is better to take your time and "feel the force" than to try to make something happen that really isn't you.

Good news about the diet/exercise routine !!

Thanks, I think you're right. I get impatient sometimes.

Struggle with and can relate to a lot of the same things you mention regarding doing something else, capped income potential, fulfillment/societal contribution. One thing that's hard to quantify is the $ value of a super flexible middle class lifestyle. Coming from having 2-3 weeks of vacay per year that must be approved to the poker freedom is super important and valuable to me, and hardly meaningful to others... I've quit several jobs having run out of vacation days due to an impulsive pressing sweet travel opportunity, poker allows for all of this, presuming we beat the game at a decent clip and are rolled for gambling and adventure fund!


Keep building roll and keep reflecting on life/options/opportunities- and no matter what don't become old miserable dead soul poker grinder guy!

Best of luck! Keep bloggin'

TC, in the Star Wars universe you would be know as a person who is very force sensitive. This can become overwhelming at times but all Jedi masters would instruct you to have patience young padawan and the next step in your journey will revel itself to you when the time for it comes

i dont understand why you never moved abroad and focused online, most of the issues you seem to face with poker are specific to playing live in a casino which is a nasty soulsucking place to be for anything more then a few hours a year. with online the competition is way tougher but the hourly is so much higher and you can build your dream workspace.

ive been grinding online for 9 years and i never get worn out/tired of it

You should look into introductory Buddhism, I think you have more than enough to be truely happy

Here is a quick interview with OP at Wynn

Thanks man, yea I totally agree, the freedom is extremely hard to give up. The value of being able to just book trips whenever and for however long I want is huge for me.

And yea, I see so many of those old miserable guys and it seems like there aren't any guys that have been doing it for very long that are happy, hence why I'm looking to pivot to something else in the near future.

Haha thank you sir, I take that as a compliment. I always knew my midi-chlorian count was high That analogy captures how I feel about my situation surprisingly accurately and succinctly.

Yea I never really played online so even before Black Friday I was planning on being a live pro. As I played more though I realized that online could be more stimulating and a potentially better option if it were available.

As far as why I haven't moved to play online, there are a myriad of reasons. The main one being that I have essentially no online volume and don't even know if I can win so moving abroad to do that doesn't seem prudent. My understanding is also that the games are very tough and hourly's are much lower so I'm surprised to hear you say that the hourly is higher.

I agree completely. I've been dabbling with stoicism which I think is conceptually along the same lines.

Thanks man, had fun doing that!

Hey man I just noticed this interview and recognised your face. I've played with you several times at the Wynn. You have been with a fried of yours who has glasses and was making jokes of his weight lol. You probably don't remember but I'm the Australian guy, max, who comes over to Vegas a few times a year to play.

Anyway I've been reading your blog for over a year was just funny to see it was somebody I've played with.

I'll be over early July so if I see you will introduce myself properly.

Gl at the tables

Haha yep that sounds about right. I think I remember playing with you actually, definitely feel free to introduce yourself if we play again.

Thanks man, gl to you as well!

I enjoyed the video. Thanks for taking the time out of your schedule. Your suggestions about balance in life and good health were great.

The video with PA was good. Fully understand your struggles. Keep up the good work at the tables in the meantime and I am sure you will find a focus when you relax the mind. All the best.

Thanks, glad to hear it. I think those concepts are underrated by most.

Thanks man, I think you're right.

I have these same thoughts almost daily, Cush. Its tough because as winning players we aren't forced to go out and do anything new if we don't want to - there's no pressure. I can't decide if this is a good or bad thing, a blessing or a curse. Who knows. Just know you're not the only one that struggles with this. Whats up for you this series? I might come out there for Milly maker donkament weekend

Hey man, didn't mean to ignore you. Saw this a while ago and was planning on doing an update the next day but other stuff keeps getting in the way so I thought I'd respond quick. For the first time in a long time I'm having a hard time updating not because I have nothing to update, but because I've been playing so much that I haven't had the time between poker and life stuff to sit down and write without being rushed. I hope to write a full update soon.

You make a good point though, we aren't forced to do anything new, but, speaking for myself here, I'm not doing so fantastic with poker that I don't ever feel like something else might be better. I feel like poker fills the glass just enough that pursuing anything else that feels like work seems worse but the glass is certainly not as full as it could be. Blessing or curse? Jury is still out for me as well. Glad to hear I'm not the only one though.

I'm just playing cash for the series, though it looks like I've talked myself into the summer solstice tournament on the 20th. If you're out here definitely hit me up, would love to catch up and hear about what you've been up to. Hope all is well.

As promised I'm finally getting around to a proper update today. Its the first day I've had in a while that I'm taking off from poker not because I have something else planned, but because its just time for a day off to chill out and do as little as possible.

After my last update, which was nearly 2 months ago, I decided to make a volume goal for myself leading up to my annual summer trip back to Wisconsin. It was fairly ambitious in comparison to my normal schedule but I have some things coming up that it would be nice to have some extra cushion for so I decided to give it my best shot.

At this point it looks like I'll likely fall 10-20 hours short of my goal, but I'll still have played a lot more than I would have without the goal so I'm fairly happy with that. I've already noticed a significant increase in burnout feelings since I've upped the volume and I'd rather fall a few hours short than try to put in marathon sessions to complete it.

With my increase in hours I can definitely feel it taking a toll. My fuse is a lot shorter, both at the table and in general. My general mood is also lower when I'm playing a lot. I attribute both of these to the generally negative atmosphere that persists in casinos, something I've discussed quite a bit in other posts.

Its certainly not all the fault of my environment, as I also haven't done a great job of keeping a balance lately. With most of my focus on keeping poker on schedule I've let a few other things slip a notch or two. My diet is still fine, though not as good as it had been previously. I'm still exercising, just somewhat less frequently. I'm finding myself watching more TV than I'd like because when I come home from a long session I just want to unwind. I've been doing less socially, having to occasionally forego certain things in order to stay on track. I dislike doing this just about more than anything else, and it's particularly tough when I'm having a rough session while friends are asking me to come have a beer and grill out by the pool.

I feel more and more like I did when I first moved to Vegas and was grinding day in and day out. Its definitely a slightly less happy version of myself, and although the extra volume is good for my bottom line, I don't like the overall impact. Its alright for a short stint such as this, but I'm quite looking forward to a nice reset with my trip home and coming back to a more balanced life. If nothing else it was a good way to figure out how much is too much for me. Sometimes in order to find the line you have to cross it.

As I mentioned in my last post, I'm going to be playing the summer solstice tournament on the 20th. Its a 1500 with 90 minute levels so I thought that would be a good one to take a shot in considering I won't be playing the main this year. I'll update on breaks in here for those interested.

That's about all I've got for today, gonna take the rest of the day and chill out, try to recharge for the weekend. Thanks for reading!

“I love getting up early to sit in front of a computer from 9-5 M-F” said no one ever

Very good post sir. Thank you for taking the time. While I’m not a parent, this is gonna certainly sound like I am one. I was in the same place you are 25 years ago. So I want to pass on something a close relative told me back then that you and several others might not have considered. I spent several years in the early 90s playing in AC. Internet was not an option – it didn’t exist. And it was awesome. However, I am now thankful every day for the advice I was given then. An uncle visited me and saw how I was living. Here’s the short version of what he said - You’re way young and still have several years to screw around before getting serious about a career. Don’t look at that as a negative bcz it’s not. Enjoy it. But right now, like most kids in their 20s you have no long-term goals. No plan for future stability when you want to retire and live out your days stress-free. He gave me the run-down on finding a job that can offer that stability – a 401k, a pension and most-importantly paying into Social Security. What resonated most tho was the discussion about health insurance. Not something many 20-somethings think about unless they have children of their own. And having good coverage has paid huge dividends. As someone with a financial background, I’m sure you understand these things

I however completely disregarded it at the time. I was living the dream of every kid out of college with no responsibilities. A few years later tho, it kinda hit me. It was obvious. What happens when I turn 60 if I keep going the way I am? So I gave it all up and started working a job that most would consider tedious, but I find it tolerable in that I’m able to help our customers with unforeseen incidents every day (intentionally vague). I’ve now been here 20 years and will be able to retire at 60 with a guaranteed monthly income for the rest of my life plus a healthy 6 figure savings account. Then SS kicks in at 62 giving me a nice raise. I, like you, have no debts and live well within my means. And most of all, I have enjoyed playing way more during these past two decades than I ever did back then. Probably bcz now I play when I want to and not bcz I have to. Much different mindset

Now this is in no way a suggestion that you or anyone else should follow this path. Some may consider it a prison sentence to spend 30 years behind a desk. But guess what? At some point in life, we all need financial security or have to work until we stop breathing. And much of the advice you’ve already been given is correct. The longer you spend out of the workforce, the harder it might be to find that job you might decide you want when the time is right. My suggestion would be tho to maybe focus more on the benefits being offered by the job vs what the job actually entails. It’s not anything most 24 year-olds worry about and at times it makes you question your existence. But take from me, it could certainly be something one might regret when they get to be where I am and realize they have failed to plan accordingly. GL