Post #1000: A live grind test run, 2 and a half years later
Hey guys, just got back to Vegas today. I had a great time in Wisconsin watching my Badgers dominate, and I'm ready to do some dominating myself.
This year has not been great results-wise, and its pretty much 100% a volume issue. My hourly is actually just fine, I just haven't been playing much.
Just before this trip, as I talked about in my last update, something started clicking and poker seemed interesting again. I started doing some off the table studying, which led to wanting to play again, which led to some of my best sessions of the year in terms of thought process/paying attention.
This was perfect timing, as I was already planning what I'm calling my "live grind test run, 2 and a half years later". The goal of it is to recommit myself to playing full-time poker again, since quite frankly I've been at best a part-time player this year.
The idea is inspired by all the guys that take extended vacations/leave from work to test out professional poker, see what the lifestyle is like and if its something they could or want to do. For me its similar, except I've been doing it already. Basically I want to find out if this is still what I want to do NOW.
In the last several months I've been questioning whether the professional poker chapter of my life was nearing its end and as a result have started exploring other things. What I've found is that the prospect of starting a different "career" path in the areas I've been interested in and researched haven't seemed all that appealing once I've gotten down to it.
Thus, the conclusion I've drawn is that poker isn't really the problem and I've just been being lazy and underachieving. My hypothesis is that poker is still an integral part of the lifestyle that most appeals to me, and that I was headed in the right direction at a reasonable rate of speed when I became derailed by what I can best describe as a period of personal reflection.
That time was important, and I do not regret it, but now its time to get back to the grindstone. The first step is to test the above hypothesis.
For the next 5 weeks leading up to Christmas I'm going to play like I did when I first moved to Vegas. Poker will become a habit again, and I'll be playing to learn first and to win money second. This doesn't mean I'll be doing nothing but grinding and playing an unsustainable amount of hours in the short term. Rather I'll be playing a normal, balanced schedule that is sustainable month in and month out. Basically I'll be using the framework I outlined in this post:
Quote:
Originally Posted by cushlash
Poker as a Vehicle
1. Keep a Separate Liferoll: Always have 6+ months of living expenses set aside from the poker bankroll. Things become so much less stressful when the bills are paid and thoughts of rent/food/gas aren't creeping in when making high variance poker decisions. There is a guy at Venetian who once essentially claimed that knowingly playing a hand sub optimally to avoid variance was, in fact, optimal since he has a family. If this type of thinking creeps in, you're either under rolled, in the wrong business, or both.
2. Get into a Routine: I always play better with a routine. It helps me compartmentalize and focus on poker when its time to focus on poker. I attribute a lot of my recent struggling to not following my own advice on this subject. Obv people are different and some can play more off the cuff but from what I can tell, most do better when on a routine.
3. Do Other Things: Have a social life, other hobbies, stay active, etc. Just do things you like that aren't poker. When things inevitably go bad at the table and all thats going on in your life is poker it can get pretty ****ing miserable. Having life balance is huge in making sure poker doesn't affect mood/happiness.
4. Accept the Realities of Poker and Play to Learn: For nearly everyone that plays 30+ hours per week, poker becomes a grind and eventually it won't be that much fun anymore. I wasn't prepared for that reality and it had affected my performance. However, if this reality is accepted it becomes easier to continue to go in every day and just try to get better. The issue becomes when unreasonable expectations do not meet reality and insanity ensues. I think my exact words to my brother were "be aware that when you play a lot, poker eventually isn't that much fun anymore".
5. No Results-Based Goals: This goes along with #4 but warrants it's own line. Variance doesn't play along with monetary goals. Just go in and play your best, learn something, win some EV and be done. If properly rolled and #1 is done right, the results shouldn't matter.
#1 is easy. I've always kept up with doing this so this will be business as usual.
#2 is a large part of what I'm trying to get back on track with. Again, doesn't mean I'll be playing 50 hours a week, just that I'll be playing consistently.
#3 is going to be huge for this. While taking it easy with poker I've been enjoying doing other things. I've been doing house projects (these are mostly done though), reading again, exercising, writing, learning drum beats, being more social and some other general self-improvement. In other words, I've been living life, and what I'm looking to do here is add poker back into the rotation of my life, not make it my life.
#4 will be ongoing. I know the realities and I'll need to keep reminding myself of them when things get rough. I'll need to emphasize learning, as already mentioned, and make poker a habit so its easier to go in on the days I maybe don't want to.
#5 won't be an issue since none of my goals for this are related to any specific amount of money.
Though this post is long, my goal for this is simple. For 5 weeks I want to add poker back into my life while maintaining the other positive things I've been doing. This will help me determine if my hypothesis, which is that poker is still an integral part of the lifestyle I want, is correct or if I need to move on.
I can't stay in this "career limbo" any longer (using the term "career" very lightly here), but I also can't move on from poker when I honestly haven't been giving it a fair shake lately. So 2 and half years later, I'm gonna test out poker again. If it works, cool. If it turns out I actually hate it, then its time to move on. Let the live grind test run begin!
Edit: Yes I realize 1000 posts isn't a huge milestone by 2+2 standards, but it synced up with this idea I had so I figured **** it.
Last edited by cushlash; 11-19-2014 at 04:00 AM.