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Old 09-30-2016, 01:31 AM   #26
WiCane
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Good stories. A+
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:07 AM   #27
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

So I have a story prepared about my pathetic struggles with alcohol over the last 3 years.

But I think I'm going to hold off on that one because it's not funny. More sad than anything. And I'm sure you guys would rather hear a story about a pretty fun bender.
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Old 09-30-2016, 03:14 AM   #28
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

THE LESBIANS... AND THEN THE RANDOM FREAK
(This one is long and I prob could have cut it into two parts. But this all happened during one bender)

Shortly after moving here a friend of mine came to visit. I had a lot of visitors that first summer in Vegas. And I always made sure to show them a wild time and send them back to MA with a ****ed up story or two.

On my friend Don's first night we went out carousing on the strip and ended up meeting/hanging out with a gaggle of dykes. These girls were true party animals. In the early morning hours we ended up at a strip club. At some point some of the girls left and our group was down to four of us. One of the girls was very pretty while the other was not. Pretty typical I guess.

The girls were from Vancouver and were traveling through town on a road trip. They didn't have a room so I offered them my bed at the luxurious Budget Suites of America. They accepted.

Now these girls were lesbians and I truly didn't have any sexual intentions for them. We were all just having such a fun time and didn't want the party to end... The party never really ends with me.

Once we got to my place about 6am the girls were tired and just wanted to "sleep". Don and I stayed up in the living space drinking and talking.

It wasn't long before we began to hear them dyking out. We looked at eachother and the drunken wheels started turning. "Maybe these horny bitches were bi and wanted us to hear them. And maybe they wanted to **** us."

Don and I went back and forth on how to approach the situation. Unfortunately the girls were asleep by the time we made our decision to enter the room. But we were going to stick with the plan and slide into the bed anyways. Either they were going to freak out, or it was gonna be a fun morning. I was willing to take my chances.

As Don and I were making our move a little shoving match of sorts broke out between us because we were both trying to get on the side of the bed with the hot one. We got tangled and Don threw me back into the cheap sliding closet doors. Which broke off made a series of loud crashes.

The girls were probably terrified because they pretended to stay asleep. Me and Don went back to the living room to drink more. And they got up and left a short while later.

Maybe 20 minutes go by and we're getting ready to finally call it for the day.

Then there's a knock on my window. Don goes and opens up the curtain to find this young, freaky looking chick standing there. Topless and pressing her tits and lips up against the glass.

"Let that girl in!", I tell Don.

So she comes in and starts speaking really fast. Probably on drugs. Telling me how she saw me the day before and how she thought I was hot and how she "totally wanted to **** me." She was a stripper, just got off of work, and was really horny. Weirdo.

The closer I looked at her lip rings I could notice some disgusting scabs. This turned me off so I told her how me and Don had a late night and needed to get some rest. And that I'd see her around.

Don and I woke up around 7pm and started getting ready for another wild night.

While I was in the shower the curtain flies open which scared the **** out of me. Sure enough it's the freak. Don had let her back in. She starts grabbing at my dick saying, "Let me see it, let me see it!" I tell her I'll be out in a few minutes.

We all sit down and get a little more acquainted. She starts bragging about her pussy and how pretty it is. She shows me a couple of her stripper moves. Eventually I have enough and I send her on her way. It was Don's second night in Vegas and we had some hell-raising to do.

I think I only saw the freak one time after that. I know I hung out next door at her place one time. She was basically living in squalor.

Then less than a week after she moved in, she was gone. I'm was glad. Because if she stayed around longer I probably would've gotten too drunk one night and might've taken her up on her offers. I'm happy I never ****ed that crazy *****.
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Old 09-30-2016, 12:24 PM   #29
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Keep them coming. All your stories had me laughing especially the GRANDMA JOAN story.
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Old 09-30-2016, 01:41 PM   #30
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Holy cannoli these are some great stories, please keep them coming.

I know this isn't exactly what your looking to write but I'd love to hear about early 2000s poker scene in Vegas. Was it just the Mirage and Bellagio when it opened or was there good game in other places like the Horseshoe. Also did you do any other kind of gambling back in those for a profit? Back in those days things like counting cards or advantage plays on like VP and some of the options on sports betting was a lot more open.
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Old 09-30-2016, 05:50 PM   #31
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Good ****!
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Old 09-30-2016, 06:08 PM   #32
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Subbed good stories. Moar!!


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Old 09-30-2016, 06:54 PM   #33
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Are you saying that you went down on a girl that used to be a guy and didn't know that **** was fake?
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Old 09-30-2016, 09:28 PM   #34
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koko the munkey View Post
Are you saying that you went down on a girl that used to be a guy and didn't know that **** was fake?


OP did say he was drinking. As far I know I've never been in this spot but guessing they can do some pretty amazing stuff, modern medicine at its finest.


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Old 09-30-2016, 11:13 PM   #35
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

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Are you saying that you went down on a girl that used to be a guy and didn't know that **** was fake?
Oh man?!?! I didn't even think of that.

Thanks a lot. Ugh
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Old 09-30-2016, 11:48 PM   #36
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

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Originally Posted by mrducks View Post
Nice post. I enjoyed the story. Keep the coming.
+1
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Old 10-01-2016, 12:44 AM   #37
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

solid stories
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Old 10-01-2016, 10:36 AM   #38
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

moar
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Old 10-01-2016, 11:46 PM   #39
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Koko the munkey View Post
Are you saying that you went down on a girl that used to be a guy and didn't know that **** was fake?
It is my understanding that if you were on top and then beat him up afterwards, then you are not gay.

Hope that helps.
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Old 10-02-2016, 04:05 AM   #40
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Great stories, OP. Keep 'em coming.

Even greater because you seem to be getting the help you need.

Addiction is a *****. Death of a parent is the worst.
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Old 10-02-2016, 05:37 PM   #41
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

This thread took a serious spike with the tranny story. OMF. Subbed.
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Old 10-03-2016, 03:33 AM   #42
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

I have a couple of other stories in mind but I've been working a lot. So I'm not sure when I will get to them.

I don't even know if this is worth posting. But it's been on my mind all day. So here ya go...

I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME (BIG) PUHPAHHH

This story is from this morning. So it is short, and an open-ended mystery at this point.

My new girl left town to visit her family last week. During our last sex session she called me "Papa" a couple of times. Kinda weird. But whatever. The way she pronounced it was more like, "Puhpahhh". "Ohhhhh Puhpahhh", she (barely audibly) moaned a couple of times.

Fast forward to about 5am today while I'm laying in bed trying to fall asleep and I'm laughing to myself, thinking of being called "Puhpahhh" during sex.

All of a sudden a scary thought comes to me. I grab my phone and start scrolling through my texts, looking for a specific one from a few hours prior. I had asked my girl what she was up to later today.

Sure enough I find the text I was looking for. Her reply was, "Going to go to the gym and then later I'm going to visit Papaw!"

"Who the **** is this Papaw, and why is she moaning his name during sex", I thought.

Now I suppose I could have smoked a little too much grass before bed and this was just a paranoid over-reaction on my part- A total coincidence. But I started thinking of some really ****ed up, Grandaddy-issue type possibilities for calling me that in the sack.

So now I'm wondering who the **** this 'Papaw' character could be. Is this just a coincidence? Or something more sinister?

When I woke up today I felt a little less paranoid. And was hoping that Papaw was just her brother's dog or something.

No such luck. I got a text from her today which read, "Papaw invited you to Thanksgiving here in TN. Yayyyy!!!"

So I think a serious talk is in order.
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Old 10-03-2016, 04:33 AM   #43
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Quote:
Originally Posted by Da_Nit View Post
Holy cannoli these are some great stories, please keep them coming.

I know this isn't exactly what your looking to write but I'd love to hear about early 2000s poker scene in Vegas. Was it just the Mirage and Bellagio when it opened or was there good game in other places like the Horseshoe. Also did you do any other kind of gambling back in those for a profit? Back in those days things like counting cards or advantage plays on like VP and some of the options on sports betting was a lot more open.
I can't give too much insight into the overall Vegas poker scene in early '04 because my only sessions were at Mirage and Bellagio. Other than my first night in town when I played 10/20 LHE at Binions.

I do remember that no-limit (1/2 anyways) hadn't quite made it on the scene yet. And there were still a few stud games in the city. The Wynn wasn't built yet. And the Venetian plus many, many other casinos had yet to open up poker rooms.

Poker, and Vegas in general was much different back then. I can remember how at some point in the early morning hours (every day) the Mirage would bring out a big table of sandwiches and donuts for anyone playing. And also, in order to get a buffet comp all you had to do was stand in line and tip the guy. There wasn't any of this '$1/HR on your players card'.

Everything is so corporate now. I used to really like the regular ol' snack bar at Mirage, which had some killer burgers. That got run out by Carnegie Deli.

It seemed like you were never more than a couple of blocks from one of those $1.99 cheeseburger + fries deals. Key Largo was my favorite. Those just don't exist anyone. Except for MAYBE in the ghetto casinos on the outskirts of town.

Not much insight here. Sorry. While I was supposed to be pursuing a career as a professional poker player during this time, I was mostly just drinking and chasing women.

Funny anecdote:

I remembered this gem when I wrote about the Key Largo meal deal.

It was actually $1.99 for a HAMburger and fries. For either $.50 or $1 (can't remember) extra you could make it a CHEESEburger.

Me and a couple of the kids that I had met playing poker would eat there often. One of them was so ****ing cheap that he would actually bring a slice of cheese with him in a little ziplock bag, order the hamburger, and make it a cheeseburger himself. Haha!
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Old 10-03-2016, 12:03 PM   #44
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Quote:
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From 2013-2015 I LITERALLY drank 24/7. My sleep problems, due to drinking, became so bad that I kept bottles and beers on my nightstand so that I could take a swig when I would wake up, which was every 10 minutes to half hour. I drank all throughout my work shifts, and always had some sort of bottle(s) in my car.
I noticed this while I was rereading the thread and wanted to clear it up, as nothing I have written is exaggerated. And I plan to keep it that way...

So this is actually inaccurate. While I WAS drinking heavily on a daily and nightly basis starting in Oct '13, the marathon of a bender didn't really begin until July '14, and lasted until that December. So it was more like 5 months, not 2 years, of 24/7 boozing.
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Old 10-03-2016, 01:04 PM   #45
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Great read so far! Hope to see more stories soon!
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Old 10-03-2016, 05:04 PM   #46
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

Pics of Grandma Joan please.
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Old 10-03-2016, 05:14 PM   #47
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

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Originally Posted by twoforgood View Post
Oh man?!?! I didn't even think of that.

Thanks a lot. Ugh
Oh man is right.
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:20 PM   #48
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

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Pics of Grandma Joan please.
Dude. Dude. Dude. I read this and thought, "Oh ****! I think I DO have a pic of Grandma Joan!!!!"

If you recall the end of the story I mentioned how she sent me a Cardplayer magazine in the mail a short time after that night. Enclosed with a mushy love note, that only a 63yr old lady could write, was a pic from that night. But I didn't know if I had kept it or not.

I just got home and went rummaging through my old photos.

To the readers that have gotten some laughs from these stories... Well, this thread is about to take a turn for the better

The good news- I found the pic. And as a bonus I also found a couple of pics of the girls from 'THE LESBIAN...' story.

The bad news- I can't guarantee that these pics will be up anytime soon. I'm terrible when it comes to any sort of technology. (I can't even figure out how to edit my posts). And it's not like I can just ask my girl or any of my friends for assistance.

First I need to find a way to edit out my face, and the other's faces. Then I need to figure out how to include a photo in a post.

I'll work on it tonight. Stay tuned.
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Old 10-03-2016, 09:47 PM   #49
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

If you send the pictures to me, I can do the uploading and posting and even very poor editing if you wish.
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Old 10-04-2016, 05:27 PM   #50
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Re: Confessions of an LV boozer

MOAR!
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