As i enjoy my cucumber sandwithches i see the Encore ,WYNN ,slowly drift by in slowpoke fashion of the strip buses ,the upperdeck is half full of early shift working class casino workers ,labourers,my kind of people ,however you would never geuss it now as i have on PRADA shoes retail 1800.00 i bought used for 210.00 ,silk GUCCI dress shirt retail 750.00 i bought used 125.00 and high-end fake breitly gold 350.00 real one 42000.00 fake gold chains 95.00 realones 1500.00 This bus ride reminds me of my first trip out here in 08 i bought a 5.00 bottle of chanpaigne with a plastic cork that prob has 200lbs of pressure i sat in the back of the bUS fondling it and BOOOM!!!!!accidently popped the cork it hit the roof and bounced off the floor creating a gunshot sound the passengers all ducking down and slowly looking back with angryfaces at the drunk tourist ,lol,i mean i said sorry but everyone was miserable ,these people who laugh at ur jokes during YOUR STAY whistle a different tune off hours and its not so cheery .I see the imperialpalace /quad disappear i say to the big guy next to me with the yellow hardhat .....hey bighitter ...im goin to ride tHe rollercoaster ....he gives me a dirty stare ..i think this could be a -EV pursuitas hes no trust-fund kd and iam not in the WYNN.... i reach down in my bag for my 4th cucumber sandwitch as MONTECARLO appears i stand up turn away from this tough guy with a yellow hardhat that makes me lol for 20 secs a mocking laugh heard thru out the bus a ROBERT DENRIO CAPE FEAR LAUGH .....as i walk out to NEWYORKNEWYORKS and my g-force UPCOMING experiance ...i take one loook back at the tired,bitter faces and flash my hollwood smile .
As i walked thru the NEWYORKNEWYORK i felt like a million bucks this smalltime poker life isjust like JAMESBONDlifestyle with-out the bullits ,exotic cars,pu$$ies,many people in my poker community dont talk about this hotel as there is no pokerroom but the rollercoaster is tilt medicene like prozac to ah kook .As i make my way i take in the nice bums and happy people,i also notice i reek of BO something about a life with no structure ironically i find no time to shower.I hit the rollercoaster first row seat line sit thru a few rides and make may way on sitting next to me is a fat kid of 21 red faced and cocky we both paid for the 2 time deal ,lol,the first time thru the kid is terrified chitting his pants second time hes cocky making faces at the cameras and high fiving after the ride i find myself drink in the book with his buddies for 3 hours a EV negative move as i buy a round of 6 to my one beer but there are good guys and they make me laugh ....the one kid goes being a pro-poker player you nust get pu$$y i pause as iam 0 for 16 and scratch my chin as one of his buddies cut in and say ..of course he does guys who dont talk about pu$$ies get action ...i agree by lifting my budweiser in the air and they all seem intriged .I tell im late for work as they lol and wish them well i deceide to run across to fatberger before i start my 1/3 work at southpoint casiono where the nits roam free ,lol.
i peel back my fat burger wrapper and enjoy ......this may be my best vegas experiance andthen walks in the hottest chic ive ever seen she was indian like east indian and smoking hot she stopped at my table and asked to sit down ...i said sure she was effin amazing short skirt a bum that looked liked 2 weezels wrestling in a sack ....she looked at me and said ...hi my name is pricilla ... i said hey please sit down baby!.....she did and so did her aunt a 50 year-old kook that hovered around the apparent sexual dicotomy ... i said lets go ack to my condo ...she said lets play blackjack first ...i said OK .....AND WE LEFT to TROPICANA her lucky spot and my yearning raging desire ............
i walked behind precilla for obvious reasons and caught some stink eye from her aunt still i was all in on this venture as we sat at a 10.00 min blackjack table ...i covered both of them and myself and realized im all in to a tune of 1000.00 tonight ,vegas is more expensive then my friends here on 2plus2 know .....anyway i try and count into 5 decks while i rub my hands up and down Precillas legs ...i soon discover she has thigh high stockings on and is clearly commando i play my best game .....plus 2 minus 2 hit split stay but after a while my left hand is in the muck and working a good solid pace and my right hand bending the cards unbenounced to me as the pitt boss yells out .............stopp bending the cards....i wonder is this code word for stop diddling the ladies ....i look up and say OK bighitter and he goes away but soon we are all broke and i say Preccilla lets go home ..she looks away and says no im tired of this ....long story short i walk home over 3 miles as i finally get home ....i tell my two condo workers .......hey when are you guys done work they both look at me AND I SAY LISTEN WHEN IS HOME TIME IN A ANGRY VOICE they say 4;00 i say wake me up then as iam goin to ARIA to win my monies back i offer a wine bottle to my guy and his buddy asks for one two i tell him your getting a cuccumber and im stuck i go back home stinking of BO, drunk and ill and I sleep hard .
i wake to a violent clashing noise on my 2nd floor condo bedroom ,i rush to the window and see my condo yard guys banging a 24ft pool pole on my window ,the pool is only like 12ft ,lol,igrab a towel and a bottle of health food wine and head downstairs an ask....hey you guys couldnt just knock on the door you walk80ft to get this big stick instead of walking up 12 steps they both lol and i give the one a botte of wine ..you guys figh over itsince it take two of you to wake me up.I head upstairs and deciede to have my first shower in 4 days i pry some soap out of my still packed suitcase and reflect onmy epic cash burn of 1.5k in 3 days and prepare for the ARIA2/5 AS i feel a bit better i peel off 1.5k in cash pull out some clean clothes and walk to the strip as i look for bus fair and a more professional attitude.
i jump on the bus sporting less bling no prada or gold ,i look more likea fast food manager and iget less stink eye onthe bus,no small talk today as i keep my head into the task at hand ...pulling out my big 8inch pink erasure and manning up and winningthe 1.5k i blew in the last3 days in a pro manner ,no booze,no pu$$ies ,no distrations ..today my friends i mean business ...being a smalltime pro player sometimes involves reflection and cruel transparency ...a moment of clarity ad power of positive thought governs me like a nascar thru a farmers field ....lets run it baby as i jmp off the bus and walk with swagger to my fruitful destiny my chest in the air!!!
I believe this is the best Lotgrinder parody I've ever seen. Maybe a little over the top, but since Lotgrinder don't hardly ever post no more, I love me some MrWong.
i take my seat #3 at the 2/5 table ,theres a HU hand going on on the now full table ,i bang the felt with my hand and say whhhattsssup and lol i get a few half smiles i then go with the wazzzzzzzup extended version and take not of the table theres 3 internet kids ..i refer to them as internet kid #1 ,#2 and #3 there two 50 year-old ladies one homely with fake uber white venners like VINCE NEIL whom i met at circuscircus i refer to her as fancy tooth ,the other lady looks like fay dunaway aging beuty a female version of me i refer to her as fay ,there s a punchy looking old boxer i refer to him as punchy a ugly fat pock market guy i refer to as ugly face the dealers name is Dan i tell him deal me in BIGHITTER im in for a g-note
As Dan deals me in i squeeze out suited big slick right off the bat my chest starts pounding im first to act ...i limp ,yes i know some think this is a bad play but im sophisticated and creative .....i pick up fancy tooth and uglyface ,punchy tanks and folds fay sips her drink very lady like in her little powersuit she flats and the pastyface internet kid stares at the pot and raises $135.00 ....i take a long look at this kid and think if he had aces or kings he would of raised $50.00 so im coin flipping the other players took no efforts to protect their hands so im ahead there ...i go in the tank and ask how much you have he says $750 ...i say raise $995.00 i get fold,fold ,fold till the internet kid tanks ...i look staight at him and look down at my undone cuffs and polish my high-end breitly i look up and see him fold my chest pounding ...i look at him and say i had a hand he smirks says good i say 78 off bigshooter ,lol,he looks bored tells me i was ahead i lol ,uglyface gives me a smile as i stack my chips im feelin good baby and i catch fay checkin me out ...i feel like the alpha dog
25 hands later ive been mucking everything looking nitty im BB ..fay popped it up to $40.00 she hasnt played a hand the whole time ive been here i put her on aces or king s min everyone fold s i throw the extra $35.00 in the pot as i look at my 29suited i feel this is obv EV- but i like the opp to play her HU as i feel sparks the flop hits jt4 i pick up a flush draw and check sh bets out quick $80.00 pot size with conviction this is no c-bet she has aces i call the turn is a blank i check she bets $150.00 i tank thinking wtf am i doing in this hand i cant fold for some reason and i know im getting a bad price but i call showing bigtime weakness the river hits and i hit my 9 high flush i check fay seems confused i expect a check when she pushes $250.00 over the line ...i count to 20 and say ...im all in she seems confused but calls she shows pocket aces i show 92 the table is quiet shes angry and on tilt as she bites her lip and gives me stare
as i stack fays chips i feel her stare as the runner brings her $800.00 shes giving me the stink eye ....... im feelin good ,life is good while ur running good the waitresses bums look better the air smells better and my jokes are funnier ..the internet kid #2 says nice hand in a sarcastic lady voice ....i say thanks bighitter !!! ...uglyface raises UNG plus 1 to $25.00 internet kid #1 flats and i look down at 34 off and i call with the chip the blinds fold the flop hits ak4 rainbow uglyface c-bets $55.00 and rubs his hideuos face internet kid tanks and folds uglyface has a tight range only playin premiums i call turn is a ace uglyface looks timid and checks i bet $50.00 he calls river is a brick uglyface checks i tank and count to 20 betout $100.00 ugly face instafolds i feel bullitproof and slap my nearly 8 inch pink erasure on the felt.
