Don't forget to order a greyhound! Good Luck!

well everyones i had my first pro session 1/3 at the wynn ,it started well as i strolled into the beutiful place i stopped off at the washroom looked in the mirror undone top 3 buttons Antonius style and said out loud ...you are the best fearless smalltime player.
I made my way to the poker room and took seat 6 ...bought in for 288.00 ..2 hours went by and i eroded to 155.00 by playing bad chasing draws check/calling when some young kid blurted-out FISSS when i folded my busted draw ..i looked at him and i said ..maybe i should show you how we fight in the 80s he stood up and said....yeah lets go .....this was a reaction i was not expecting i then said......ok bigshotter just chill ,im not getting kicked out as im a pro-player ....he was still standing making motion to the parkade ...i said chill the floor came by and i tried to contain myself thinking that kid is lucky .The seesion took on a theme of underlying anger and sexual tension as a hot chic took seat 2

great thread, please keep the updates coming

This is hilarious.

"I would kick your ass, but I'm a pro player, obv"

sick level, keep rolling.

well i looked down at my chips and my undone cuffs leaned back in my chair and did my Antonius look head way back chest out and looked at the new hot lady in seat 2 ,she was prob 35 dyed blond hair large real breasts and as a kicker huge thighs this is EV positive for me.I picked up my cards and after 3 hours and 15 mins i hit pocket aces my chest started pounding i had the dealerchip early guys were limping i grabbed the hammer and poped it to 16.00 after waiting for 7 secondsthe andry kid folded and a asian lady that been there 3 hours called everyone else folded their limpy 3.00.
Iput this lady on kings she had played 2 hands i restored my Antonius pose and kept sayin please no kings no kings to myself ,THE FLOP RAINBOW 2J7 A GREAT FLOP FOR ACES BABY she had 80.00 i had 125.00 my heart pounding and my face turning red she bet out 15.00 i count to 13 sec i call ,turn come 5 she bet out 40 i count to 25 announce ALL IN river a blank she roll pocket 2s for a set ....I TILT I STAND UP AND SAY HOW CAN YOU CALL 16.00 WITH POCKET 2S I HAVENT PLAY MANY HANDS 8U MUST KNO UR DRAWING TO A TWO OUTER .....POPLE ARE NOW LOOKING ...SHE SAID I WAS BIGBLIND SIR ...I SAY R U KIDDING FLOOR COMES OVER WITH WARNING ..KID SAYS SOMETHING I TELL HIM TO GO F OFF ANOTHER WARNING .I TAKE MY CHAIR KID GIVING ME STINK EYE AND POINTING IM DOWN TO 35.00 AND STEAMING I ASK FOR A BUDWEISER

\

... and it begins...

ill see your karate champ and raise you ....

I loved those games! lol

almost went this way with it... but decided video games were cooler

rough start. keep the updates coming!

Why do I have the feeling this is a bored (but bright) 14 yr old sitting in his snowed-in house?

It is designed as trolling comedy but some of it is written from lack of casino experience, which makes it ironically funny.

could be a troll but doesnt seem like a kid at all imo

Obv troll. And a brilliant one.

well im at the 6 hour point the rude kid has 500.00 and is chatting up the subject of my yearnings a older spray tanned chick with supple breasts and huge thighs,im captive to this sickly exchange of nonsence a trust-fund kid hitting on a cougar and im steaming as im at $50.00 ive won 6 hands all small missed 5 draws and had my aces cracked and am stuck $238.00 .The iritating kid asks for a dinner marker ...i say ..hey u on the hook for SB/BB bigshooter ...he says something rude and calls me a fisss for the 13th time and bumps my chair,he walks to the rail and meets some other awhole with a toque ,lol,what kind of goof wears a toque to vegas anyway they both go off prob .ags and i flash a smile at the cougar in seat 2 .The dealer starts dealing and i see her pick up here phone and make a text ....now i see this as a opp to use my vegas line whenever i see a chick texting i ask are u texting me.... so far it been EV- ...but i run it again half way thru the deal the dealer stops and calls the floor and says......... these two are texting each other .... i say no ..no bigshooter the floor says ...you cant do that ... i say run the tape i dont have a phone she does look .....they give her the warning and she look totally confused but i figure this ruined the mood and deceide to go back to my Antonius pose and squezze ou my cards.......

keep em comin

Wow, now this is a blog I can get behind.

solid read

Well my first pro -session ends with me squeezing out a AK hearts ,im stuck $235.00 i tried hitting on the hot chic in seat 2 a 36 year-old with fake tan real breasts have a running feud with a trustfund kid to my left ,a mild mannered asian lady with a blatent fake ruby ring plays once every 8 orbits but somehow shes always on my grid of play always beating me and im mentally tired 7 hours is a long time for a novice guy ,its been a emotional beating and i shove my nut flush draw in like PHIL LACK with a opp to triple-up against a trucker a housewife and a japanese guy ,the turn blank the river blank japanese guy lets out a cheer as his top/secondtop holds ,i stand up kids says something ..i say lets hit the parkade prob 4 bud talking to my suprise and pleasure he backs down i insult his friend and get ushered out by a nice guy in a suit ... i say as a joke well i have to go to a event down the street he smiles and says good ,im heading this way so ill walk you out sir ...i say ok now thats 5star service

Is this thread for real??????

sounds like you really showed them

Day 2 of my new life as a smallstake poker pro hit me like a kick in the b@lls as i woke up at 2 n the afternoon to someelectric hedgeclippers ,i walked to my window and seen some LVCC yard workers doin there thing ,i felt like running over and mentoring them on y new found propoker knowledge and changing their lives but acknowledged nt everyone is cut out for this life ,i felt privilged .I needed a drink to kill my hang-over i opened a bottle of healthfood vodka from Wholefoods had two stiff drinks reflected on losses and remembered Antonius sayin...you sould feel the same whether you up 1400.00 or down 1400.00 ,hmmm i skipped the shower an work-out made 5 cucumber sandwhiches and walked out to the strip with my napsack wraped around my unbottoned shirt .The sun and traffic on the strip hit me hard i decieded to take the DEUCE south TO PLAY POKER at SOUTHPOINT but not before stoping off at NEWYORK and jumping on the rollercoaster ,thats my plan for the ay as i sit down on the upper level and take note of the kooks on he bus

i hope not.

Those 70s LV country club homes are amazing. Straight of of 70s movie casting. Not sure modern houses are even allowed.