Let me start off by saying that poker is my life. I live, breathe, eat, sleep, poker. It's been like this for the last year. I want nothing more in my life than to be a well respected reputable player. A consistent winner. I play every single day. Usually in the evening as I work during the day. However I am losing night after night after night. I want things to change, I want to be a better player but it seems the more I play the worse in debt I go.

I started with poker in Sweden around 2008 playing super soft home games with friends which I never won, deep down I believed I was "really good". This sense of entitlement was based off of nothing. Probably played like 4 home games at the most. After 2008 I just didn't play poker for years.. Skip forward to 2015 and I become completely obsessed with watching pros play on youtube. I am unemployed all of 2015 and just spend every single day 16 hours a day watching phil helmuth, Phil Ivey, Tom dwan etc play a mixture of cash and MTT's. I decide I want to play as well. I join a poker website called replay poker. Since I have no money and no income of any kind I had to join a free website. At the time replay poker gave you 5 k fake chips. I worked up the 5k fake chips in to 5 million fake chips over the course of a couple of months. I remember joining an MTT on there and actually winning first place. It was exhilarating. I remember thinking "wow I am actually good, like actually good"

So I get a job in the beginning of 2016 and really just commit to it and just had a lot of things going on in life, poker wasn't a priority. Nov 2017 it really begins. The beginning of my poker career. Not realising what I was getting myself into. At that time I am finally at a point in my life where financially speaking I am doing okay. I have 0 credit card debt and have around $1000 to my name. I get serious about playing poker so I make my first deposit on the Americas card room. $40. I lose it. I think it's okay cause I've got more. I put in another $40. I lose that too. So I go hard and put in $150 thinking it's cause I don't have enough money on the website and that's why I am losing, (it can't be my play, right?). I lose all of it. This goes on for a couple of months. I have a lot of swings. At this time I didn't know the difference between MTT's and cash games. I was playing only cash.


I end up discovering the "scheduled tournaments" on Americas card room around feb 2018 and being playing MTT's which I have a lot more success in. Playing in MTT's made it possible to finally stop depositing and hitting 0 instantly. I am still losing playing MTT's but not nearly as much money. From Jan 2018 to around may I am down about 4-5 grand I believe. And then it happens, I Bink it. May 2018 I win 9k in an MTT. I am finally ahead. I am ahead about 2 k dollars. The win feels good and it doesn't take more than a month before i've lost all of my profit.

From may until today I've gone from positive 2 grand to negative -28 k playing on both Americas card room and bovada. I started studying theory like crazy end of may, and jumped on some facebook poker pages asking for help in my game. I believe in my mind i am becoming better. I review hands daily after sessions. It gets worse than it's ever been, I can't win i mean literally do not win ever when it matters. I keep losing. Every time i do win I can't manage to win again before I lose it all. I don't know what i am doing wrong I just want to be in that 5% of winning players. I still believe I can deep down inside.

I believe there is a couple of reasons behind this. 1 - I have god awful bankroll management. As soon as I win any nice amount (1k plus) I can't not manage it at all I ALWAYS end up losing it. I jump all over the place when it comes to mtt's buy in's ranging from $11-$260 and usually it's cash games that kill me which i have no discipline. 2. I obviously need to improve as a poker player but I feel like i have plateaued, or rather i will never be a winner always a loser no matter how i play my hands.

I want help badly, I am determined to make poker work. I won't quit. I want to become a winner. I know some of you have played with me on ACR and think i am scum bag piece of **** for some of the plays I've made but I KNOW i've made lots of terrible plays but I want to stop and make good plays to be a winner over the long run. Here is my sharkscope: https://www.sharkscope.com/#Player-S...layers/zzz1221 and here is a video of me actually playing tonight. I was hoping it would be longer but I wasn't able to make it further. I guess another bad play... https://www.twitch.tv/videos/353929680

I am thinking of making another video, same tourney but on igition instead of bovada. Anyway I intend to always record every session like this now and post it on here to see how i can better myself. Thanks for all the feedback and help.

Hello,

without having read the whole bulk, you have generally 3 options to improve. Nobody worth their money will just take "i wont quit" as a good argument. Put money where your mouth is . I know you mean it, so no offense, but life can change and good coaches wont waste their months bc of a "promise" without anything backing it up.

You have 3 options:

1) Join a normal video training site (Runitonce for example), watch videos, typically very low monthly payment.

2) Join an interactive training site with live coachings and videos. Like bestpokercoaching.com / BPC (Disclaimer, our site). Shark Academy. It's more pricey but coaches answer your questions in real time

3) Join a Coaching For Profits program. Currently BPC (ourselves), Bitb and bluffthespot offer this (and perhaps others that are not known here) although you should ask them in their coaching thread if they coach your game and level. Everybody works differently.

4) Do it yourself (Michael Jordan had a coach, but oh well )

thank you so much for your reply I will look into the information that you have provided

hey OP better times ahead. like you said, dont quit

if your struggling with bankroll management i suggest a piece of advice that doug polk wrote many years ago: pick one stake and stick to it, dont chase losses just keep working on that one stake no matter what

when you boil this game down to its essence its all about one thing: consistently making great decisions when the action is on you. when you focus on making great decisions on a micro level, the macro takes care of itself

dont let the burden of debt hurt your performance. if you listen to many podcasts with the best players the majority started out very rough in poker, with many obstacles

the guy who first exposed me to poker was named brian, he was a live player and he absolutely crushed 2/5-5/10. he made an insane amount of money, but he told me stories about when he started in poker: he was deeeeeeeep in debt, hopeless, and thought he could never make it work. but he didnt give up