I'm sick of saying the same ten things on the course during a round with my friends. I'll admit, there is something to be said for tradition, telling the same jokes and spewing the same lines just because thats the way its always been, but we need to keep it fresh as well.

I can only say "right club, wrong direction" or "well i had the line right" so many times. I need some new phrases for the course.

I know Rick Reilly did a column on this like two months ago, but I also know that Rick Reilly sucks and recommended phrases such as "hurry up, Kevin Na wants to play through" for when your buddy is taking too many practice swings. So I want to see what 2p2 has to offer.

What kinds of things do you say in different situations on the course to keep yourself from getting bored? What have you heard other people say that you thought was especially clever or different?




for reference: http://espn.go.com/espn/story/_/id/7.../new-golf-talk

Too focused on my own game to worry about any of the above. Besides, change for the sake of change is rarely good.

BO

nice one, ill try that next time someone i'm playing with hits it in the bunker

Put it in her mouth and spit it back out (when you lip out)

So are you one of those guys who has to say something every time someone hits a ball into a bunker?

Let me guess what else you say:

"Come on baby you cannot leave a birdie putt short!" after someone lags it 2 feet short from 40 feet.

"Doug's in jail haha" when Doug is in the trees.

"Shankapotomus"

"Hey if you want to hit from the ladies' tees we're OK with that! HAHAHAHA"

Etc.?

Saying "one" when the ball falls off the tee is by far the nut low in golf vernacular

No, I was just pointing out that he added nothing. Like if he was a kid at a birthday party and the mom said "raise your hand if you want cake" he would yell out "I DON'T WANT ANY CAKE" instead of just not raising his hand.

Of course, this is a bad analogy because everyone loves cake.

I usually say "can you shut the **** up?" when i have the misfortune of being paired with someone who has some stupid thing to say about every shot.

Guy walks into a golf shop, "Got any swings for sale??? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"


****ing shoot me, please.

As much fun as a golf roast round sounds, has to be annoying as **** when I pay $60 to play and a guy is telling one liners on every shot.

When someone takes a big divot/chunks it, i like to say "you suck".

I got paired up a few years ago with a minor-league hockey coach who was a former NHL player. You wouldn't know the name (and in fact I can't remember it), but I looked him up when I got home and he had a ton of penalty minutes over the course of his career. Really nice guy, but with a bit of edge to him, as you'd expect.

Anyway, he has a 50-foot putt on one hole, and rolls it to about a foot. "Great putt," I tell him. He glares at me with a look of disgust and says, "Great putts make noise."

I assume you dropped gloves at this point... Or did you hit him back with a one-liner of your own first? Something like, "Not as much as your mom made last night."

I like this one. I'm really surprised at everyone else though. Isn't golf a social game? You all will really go out there with two or three buddies and not say a word the entire time? If you all putt it close and one friend says "we've got it surrounded" or whatever, you would tell him to shut the **** up? That doesn't sound like much fun.

me and my friend sometimes do impressions of feherty, mcalister etc, and from the tiger woods pga tour games, as a joke of course.