AHAHAHAHA. This makes me want to start **** with someone and have my friend try to talk me out of it with something like "Dude, you just got out of prison. You don't want to go back, do you?!?"

When I was 12, I shanked a 100 yard shot to the right, over my dad's head. He reached up and grabbed it out of the air to save it from going in a lake. It obviously wasn't a solid hit, but it still had some speed to it. Nice hands dad.

The second time was not as fun. Freshman year, trying out for the high school team, and it was probably the first time I had ever played that meant something, keeping official score, peers watching, etc.

I was playing with a senior who had been on the team the last few years. On the 3rd hole, I had a 5 iron approach and tried to cut a corner on a blind dogleg. He was probably 20 yards away, pretty far to the right but not far enough. He probably didn't know how much I was trying to cut the corner. I shanked a halfway solid line drive at him, and as he was diving out of the way it caught him on the neck. He was really nice about it, remembering high school the situation could have been a lot worse.

Luckily it missed his collar bone and windpipe, and got him more to the side right under his cheek. We stopped for 5-10 minutes but he ended up finishing the round.

Of course it didn't help my nerves, and I turned in a 60+ (9 holes). Made the team the next year at least!

What kind of mom names her son KenoVictoryLap?

BO

saw many a forecaddie get smoked by an errant drive in my caddying days

I was in some trees just short of the green my playing partner having helped me find the ball stood behind me as I tried to thread a wedge through the gap. I hit the tree trunk and it bounced back right into his groin sending him to the floor. I should have been full of concern and apologies but all I could do initially was laugh.

Was on 18 at my club course, longish par 4 ripped a drive 310ish and im about an 8 iron away 170ish. at the time, this should have been a 7iron, but i just had a lesson 2 days before that made each of clubs long 5-10 yards. plus i felt that if i hit my 8i id get more loft and would sit better on green if i struck it pure. so i line up, know its going to have to be a full swing and then some, i take the shot and of course snap hook it to the right (left handed). the right side of 18 is the backyards of all these rich people houses with very nice patio furniture and ****. anyway, snap hooked it to the right and ringed it of this guys stainless steal BBQ, no clue what kinda it was but it was huge and looked very expensive.

another insident was my friend who likes to play a huge hook. so he lines up aiming to the right, expecting it to hook left and into play. He lines up right but this time the ball dosent hook and instead goes dead striaght to where he was aiming. Again, there are houses here but are a little further back. As we are watching the ball flight in the air we know its going to hit a house so we brace for the sound and become super quiet to try and here something. Its almost as if we hear a gunshot go off, just a huge loud BANG! as if a car ran into a dishwasher. we walked over to see if there was any damage, it ended up hitting someones backyard wood storage shed and went right through one of those plastic rain roof covers.

Come to think of it, my first year playing i hit someone in the back of the leg. If i can remember, it was on 18 and the 4 some infront of us were taking there sweet ass time putting. after this they still loafted on the green counting there scores, could not be bothered to move to the side. i yelled out an "eh" to try and get them to move over, and one guy just kinda of waved like "its ok shoot, where watching" so i went ahead and shot. i ended up skulling the ball with my 9i and it hit him right in the back of the leg. i didnt yell fore because it happened so fast and as i saw the ball coming towards them it put me in a panic and i just didnt think to say it. When the guy got hit by my ball it looked as if he was in an old school Nintendo shooter where a guy gets shot and does some weird spazz with his body but still somehow manages to keep on going.

Got it.

Hint, if your BBQ is stained, nobody will steal it.

Hookers resort to sex for money because of poor schooling.

Don't use smooth muscies if you want to hook the ball, use striaghted muscles instead.

Did you use a loafted club for your pitch from over the green?

Ah, you're Canadian. That explains everything.

nitBO

Eh this was written quickly during my lunch break and I have no freaking clue how to use the spell checker on 2p2!

when I was 15 I smoked someone in the forehead with a driver....thought I killed the guy, seriously...guy went down and didn't get up. He was awake when I walked down the fairway, 150 metres or so...guy was in my fairway but I didn't call fore...worst moment of my golf life...lol...

Playing last friday my friend flew a thin PW from about 140 into the top of the head of a worker raking a bunker on a par 3. We were screaming fore after the ball left the club and the guy never moved.

He didn't drop to the ground but he did walk around the bunker for a bit before getting in his cart and leaving. I saw him the next day and he was wearing headphones.

To literally add insult to injury, the ball bounced off his head into a hazard instead of staying in the bunker.