Trip Report: Peru
02-21-2017
, 01:23 AM
So i decided to tick some boxes on my bucket list and 2 of those things were to see the amazon rainforest in all it's glory and to go drink ayahuasca.
so i google 'ayahuasca peru' and the first couple of websites looked sketchy and i was almost certain i was either going to get scammed out of my money or i would disappear into the jungle never to come home but i was like **** it at least it'll be an adventure but then i stumbled upon https://www.bluemorphotours.com/ who at the time only did ayahuasca in peru but have now branched out like complete bosses to other retreats around the world and noticed they were running a 6 day retreat that landed on my birthday (which was a little over a month away) so i insta booked it and my flights.
I flew from heathrow with a few hours to kill in miami before flying down to lima where i had missed my connecting flight by 4 hours and the next flight to iquitos was in 9 hours so i decided to sit outside the airport and just smoke and people watch and contemplate what may or may not happen when i get down there.
the 9 hours came and went really quickly now i was on board lanperu flying to iquitos to say i was excited would be an understatement
after 90 mins of flying we hit iquitos hard and then stroll across the runway into the tiny airport and walking outside you get swamped by the taxi drivers and their motorbikes with carriages on the back (similar to a tuk tuk) but this one gentleman approaches me 'car car come i have car' so i go to the car and head towards the hotel soon as i get in the car i noticed the picture on the taxi licence is clearly not the driver but as i found out later **** like that doesn't matter in the IQT if you wake up one morning and want to be a taxi driver, boat captain you can and nobody is gonna bat an eye lid.
so i get to the el dorado isabel hotel which is a 3* but after viewing my room i decided to upgrade to their 5* sister hotel the el dorado plaza which is only 50 feet away so i check my **** in and go outside for a smoke and a look around
soon as i got outside i was approached b 2 blokes who looked around my age and they started to say 'blue morpho blue morpho you blue morpho we blue morpho' i was like what's up they started asking questions and next thing i know the 3 of us and the taxi guy are off to get some food, ceviche starters and steaks was delish
we get talking and all 3 of them spoke pretty good english but with my heavy set welsh valley's accent they didn't understand me too well.
i ask them about the weed and is it any good and the one guy disappears with $50 and comes back with a guy who looked liked a peruvian skinny pete from breaking bad, anyway we all leave and head to a bar that skinny p knows will let us do whatever we want.
we are all having a ball as the sun sets over the jungle and watching the thunder and lightning strike in the distance was awe inspiring but as soon as that started to happen Pete and the taxi guy disappear for an hour and when they returned skinny p had no shirt and was considerably more ummm twitchy and then he decides to pull out a knife and a bag of this cocaine soaked in kerosine, he wanted me to try but i was having none of it after all i'm a good boy and the atmosphere noticeably changed and they all stopped speaking english at this point.
so i do what any proud welsh man would do in this situation i decide to roll a nice big joint but because the table was wet i put my wallet down and used that to rest the papers on because i'm an idiot, whilst smoking the joint skinny pete is rocking back and forth opposite me scraping his knife against the table gently touching the wallet whilst glaring at me, so the bar keep comes over and talks to us i understand nothing but he wants to get paid so i oblige pay for the evenings drinks and proceed to order a bottle of whisky because i had a mf'ing plan, I outweighed them by an easy 100lbs and i know i can handle my whiskey so i get these guys absolutely hammered to the point skinny pete moved away from us to vomit into the river i proceed to tell the gentlemen it's time to go so we roll out with skinny p stumbling behind us yelling at us to wait which we do not so we get into one of the many tuks outside and roll on out to the hotel which was about a 15 min ride away, 1 of the guys with me yells into tuk tuk guys ear something and we pick up speed considerably and now i'm thinking i'm ****ed but he tells me to look behind and yup skinny pete and the completely intoxicated tuk tuk driver speeding behind us, we pull up to the hotel and the armed guards outside start shouting at pete and the driver and they leave.
a pretty eventful day 1 and the only things i did for the next 3 days were visiting monkey island with a rambo look alike tour guide, a piranaha fishing adventure.
this was the blue morpho camp
this cutie screamed like a baby the entire time at monkey island
the aforementioned rambo guide and an awesome russian lady
a monkey rubbing its dick on some random american
a depressed looking dude from monkey island
the only happy guy on monkey island
and finally hercules 1 of the guard dogs at camp who went everywhere with me
Part 2 will be a trippy trip report from my time at the camp
so i google 'ayahuasca peru' and the first couple of websites looked sketchy and i was almost certain i was either going to get scammed out of my money or i would disappear into the jungle never to come home but i was like **** it at least it'll be an adventure but then i stumbled upon https://www.bluemorphotours.com/ who at the time only did ayahuasca in peru but have now branched out like complete bosses to other retreats around the world and noticed they were running a 6 day retreat that landed on my birthday (which was a little over a month away) so i insta booked it and my flights.
I flew from heathrow with a few hours to kill in miami before flying down to lima where i had missed my connecting flight by 4 hours and the next flight to iquitos was in 9 hours so i decided to sit outside the airport and just smoke and people watch and contemplate what may or may not happen when i get down there.
the 9 hours came and went really quickly now i was on board lanperu flying to iquitos to say i was excited would be an understatement
after 90 mins of flying we hit iquitos hard and then stroll across the runway into the tiny airport and walking outside you get swamped by the taxi drivers and their motorbikes with carriages on the back (similar to a tuk tuk) but this one gentleman approaches me 'car car come i have car' so i go to the car and head towards the hotel soon as i get in the car i noticed the picture on the taxi licence is clearly not the driver but as i found out later **** like that doesn't matter in the IQT if you wake up one morning and want to be a taxi driver, boat captain you can and nobody is gonna bat an eye lid.
so i get to the el dorado isabel hotel which is a 3* but after viewing my room i decided to upgrade to their 5* sister hotel the el dorado plaza which is only 50 feet away so i check my **** in and go outside for a smoke and a look around
soon as i got outside i was approached b 2 blokes who looked around my age and they started to say 'blue morpho blue morpho you blue morpho we blue morpho' i was like what's up they started asking questions and next thing i know the 3 of us and the taxi guy are off to get some food, ceviche starters and steaks was delish
we get talking and all 3 of them spoke pretty good english but with my heavy set welsh valley's accent they didn't understand me too well.
i ask them about the weed and is it any good and the one guy disappears with $50 and comes back with a guy who looked liked a peruvian skinny pete from breaking bad, anyway we all leave and head to a bar that skinny p knows will let us do whatever we want.
we are all having a ball as the sun sets over the jungle and watching the thunder and lightning strike in the distance was awe inspiring but as soon as that started to happen Pete and the taxi guy disappear for an hour and when they returned skinny p had no shirt and was considerably more ummm twitchy and then he decides to pull out a knife and a bag of this cocaine soaked in kerosine, he wanted me to try but i was having none of it after all i'm a good boy and the atmosphere noticeably changed and they all stopped speaking english at this point.
so i do what any proud welsh man would do in this situation i decide to roll a nice big joint but because the table was wet i put my wallet down and used that to rest the papers on because i'm an idiot, whilst smoking the joint skinny pete is rocking back and forth opposite me scraping his knife against the table gently touching the wallet whilst glaring at me, so the bar keep comes over and talks to us i understand nothing but he wants to get paid so i oblige pay for the evenings drinks and proceed to order a bottle of whisky because i had a mf'ing plan, I outweighed them by an easy 100lbs and i know i can handle my whiskey so i get these guys absolutely hammered to the point skinny pete moved away from us to vomit into the river i proceed to tell the gentlemen it's time to go so we roll out with skinny p stumbling behind us yelling at us to wait which we do not so we get into one of the many tuks outside and roll on out to the hotel which was about a 15 min ride away, 1 of the guys with me yells into tuk tuk guys ear something and we pick up speed considerably and now i'm thinking i'm ****ed but he tells me to look behind and yup skinny pete and the completely intoxicated tuk tuk driver speeding behind us, we pull up to the hotel and the armed guards outside start shouting at pete and the driver and they leave.
a pretty eventful day 1 and the only things i did for the next 3 days were visiting monkey island with a rambo look alike tour guide, a piranaha fishing adventure.
this was the blue morpho camp
this cutie screamed like a baby the entire time at monkey island
the aforementioned rambo guide and an awesome russian lady
a monkey rubbing its dick on some random american
a depressed looking dude from monkey island
the only happy guy on monkey island
and finally hercules 1 of the guard dogs at camp who went everywhere with me
Part 2 will be a trippy trip report from my time at the camp
