How to measure penis length (the correct way)
Measuring penis size correctlyIn short - measure from the pelvic bone to the tip of the erect penis along the top
Prepare a ruler or a tailor measuring tape. If it is one of those sharp metallic rulers, try not to stab yourself with it and try not to slice half of your cock off during the process. If overly eager, prepare and practice a cover story for the accident and emergency room. Make sure your penis is erect and straight, the steps you take to get the desired effect is really no concern of ours, but again try not to do anything overly creepy.
We'd put a few humorous suggestions of what not to do (such as dressing up in lycra superman costume and taking Viagra whilst on a subway train at peak hour), but we realise that some people will react with enthusiasm and go "well, that's a thought", so we recommend to approach penis size measurement with less humour and with more empirical thirst for truth. Once your penis is erect and straight (if you have a bendy penis, that's no problem, use a flexible measuring tape and follow the procedure, you may need to bend the measuring tape according to the curvature of your penis. Place the measuring device on top of the penis, measuring tape or ruler facing up. Penis length is measured from the base of the shaft (where your penis meets the groin) to the tip of the penis.
Measure the penis along the top
Measure along the top
Pressing into the groin
Bush size and groin fat that you have can have a massive effect on the result. Therefore we recommend to place the ruler/measuring tape right at the base of the shaft, pressing firmly into the groin (and again we remind you, try not to stab yourself in the process!!). The length from the base of the shaft to the tip of the penis is in fact your penis (cock, dick, willy) length. Pressinh hard into the groin for maximum length is justified by the fact that some men have more fat and more pubic hair. The difference could be significant. Shaving pubic hair and losing groin fat through exercise or liposuction will visually increase the penis length perception.
How to measure penis girth (width/circumference)
In short - wrap a measuring tape across the widest part of your penis.
Correct way to measure penis size - girth
Wrap the measuring tape across the
thickest part of the penis shaft
Again, prepare the measuring tape, using a ruler in this case is unreliable. Make sure your penis is erect and again we leave it up to you to get it there. There appears to be difference in penis width measurements depending on the way the erection was achieved. It is said that oral sex is the best way to gain a full erection. Once the penis is erect go on with measuring the sex organ's girth. Try to measure the girth of the penis mid-shaft, where it is mostly of the same thickness. Some men will have larger heads of penises than others but measuring them will not give a reliable estimate, since the figures will not be the same, so try to measure the penis girth at mid-shaft, not at the head. If you don't have a flexible measuring tape that the tailors use to measure dimensions, take a string and wrap it around your penis, mark the beginning and the end and then measure it with a ruler. This will give a very accurate measure of the penis girth/circumference. When measuring penis girth, try not to strangle your little friend.
If the head of your penis is significantly larger, measure it as well. When you seek condoms, you could go for the ones of a flared shape - with more room for the glans/head.
After measuring the penis size, length and girth
We understand that we live in a digital age of twitter and facebook and youtube, however now is a right time to warn you against posting this information about the fruit of your scientific adventure online. Instead, find the correct condom that fits you.
MEASURE CORRECTLY