Quote:
Originally Posted by bernie68
My main takeaway from the culture of the people is that they are passive/non confrontational.. better for them to ignore or to say 'yeah' to something they did not understand than to say 'what do you mean
Short cultural lesson that may explain some things to those new to the Philippines...or even many who have been there for a while sometimes wondering what the Hell is going on.
Filipino culture is centered around saving face. Many things are taboo in public: arguing, picking a fight, criticism. Everyone is always smiling because you are not supposed to display your problems in public.
Most Filipinos will forgive a foreigner for cultural transgressions, but beware of pushing something like criticism too far. There can be serious consequences.
Filipino culture teaches that you must be polite. Thus, the answer is always "yes." This word can have many different meanings according to the situation at hand. Yes can mean yes, or yes can mean no, or yes can mean maybe. It depends on context and the way in which it said/accompanying body language.
Here's a typical situation: Two friends meet in public.
Friend A invites Friend B over for dinner on Tuesday. Why? Because it's the polite thing to do.
Friend B says "yes, thank you," but really means "no". In fact, Friend B knows that Friend A is just being polite and Friend B responds "yes" to also be polite. Friend A knows that friend B is only responding "yes" to be polite and does not expect them for dinner.
Another situation: a dinner party (where guests ARE expected to show...). If the time is set for 6:00 p.m., the guests do NOT want to show at that time. If they show up at or before 6:00, they are seen as too eager to eat someone else's food.
So the first guests will show up a bit after 6:00. In fact, the more important the guest, the later they will show up. For example, a mayor of the city may show up an hour or two late. As a foreigner, I would be finished eating before they got there.
When a Filipino doesn't understand a question or doesn't know the answer, they will have a body language that communicates this fact. Generally, their mouth will hang slightly open and they will slightly raise their eyebrows. This may be so subtle that us foreigners cannot recognize it, though every Filipino will clearly know what's going on. Body language is extremely important in communication, and too tricky for foreigners to readily pick up.
Raised eyebrows also means "yes."
I recommend everyone planning a visit to the Philippines read "Culture Shock: Philippines", available on Amazon. There is a TON of useful information if you want to try to understand many "ununderstable" cultural things.