Really great news man. It seems like you're both really lucky to have each other; best wishes for continued improvement in the future.

I do not. People do not know what to say after a while, I guess, and I've not been able to make it out very often to see anyone or do anything social. I have worked to make it out to yoga and gym pretty regularly, but even that has involved missing planned times maybe 1 out of 3 times, on average, plus some weeks on end where I just can't do it at all. I do have a caretaker who comes in a couple of afternoons per week, when I had been making it into the office and now run errands. Wife and I did go to a party at a restaurant last week, which was our first time eating out together (she's been self-conscious about spillage since her mouth is numb and has tingling which gets worse as she chews but that's been improving for a while now by eating with a mirror and exercises).

My social skills have regressed to the point where people think I'm on the spectrum where they used to think I was so charming I must be a sociopath. Also my family are sociopaths.

Mother in law...oy, vey! I find it best to not think about her unless I have to. Some of it is just so unbelievable people would be skeptical to the point of incredulous. Like, seriously, I been making her sound *good*.

Yeah, that sucks. You're right I think that after a while people just don't know what to do and wind up pretending the situation doesn't exist. You would know best I'm sure, but don't forget to look after yourself, don't get too isolated.

The stuff you already posted about MIL made me incredulous, that you seem like an honest person is the only reason I didn't suspect the stories of being exaggerated. So yeah don't post the other stuff, my brain might melt. Having enough trouble coping with political reality.

It's great she's able to do so much. Also glad to hear that her abilities keep expanding. Hopefully she can start taking up some of those hobbies in a manner that she enjoys, rather than feeling discouraged.

Took her to her first private yoga class today; went about as well as possible! She was somewhat irritated with me and anxious about doing yoga (pretty much first time) on the way in, happy on the way out.

While it's my favorite teacher and I think she's really great, I'm pretty sure I've tried to instruct wife in the same way to do the same things, except this time she did it instead of arguing. Still, a new set of eyes can be great; in one case wife was able to sit up and reach forward to touch her toes while lying down with straight legs. Never tried that and surprised she could do it, but...great!

Obviously it was a modified routine, but managed some balance poses like high lunges while holding a chair, some reaches in the chair, and some floor work in addition to the breath awareness throughout. I guess it really helps to be good at teaching. Signing up for some more and hope to keep her enthusiastic.

I do ball room dancing. One thing you learn very fast, is never to try to teach your partner anything and let it do the trainer. It just never works somehow.

But on the serious note, just wanted to tell you that you and your wife are really inspirational. I read it for the last few days and thought today as I really really really didn't want to work out, that if your wife is doing her exercises, which excuse can I have to not do mine.

And you are also pretty special. In the culture where I was raised 100 from 100 men would drop so sick wife like a hot potato in the first month after OP.
So just .

Thanks lapka, that's really nice of you to say.

I actually tell myself the same thing whenever I don't feel like finishing a workout, plus I've seen her re-learn to walk while blind and talk while largely deaf. No excuses.

That's awesome! Your wife must have felt a real sense of accomplishment after the session, which I think can have a huge mental impact as well as the obvious physical benefits of doing the yoga.

+1 to everything lapka and Rexx said for sure -- I'm glad to hear that she's found something she can enjoy (and presumably something that you two can continue to do together).

Yeah she's feeling pretty good about it. Just a little practice yesterday and went for a second session today and she was able to do more than last time and is getting the hang of what's expected at which point. So, score another point for being a good teacher, I guess. I think it's good for her to just get out to a yoga studio instead of the usual "doctor's office".

She's kinda struggling with the opening meditation and body scan, but that's consistent with every time I've tried and at least seems less frustrated than usual (and, heh, me too).

Well about ten weeks into the yoga experiment and wife is doing great with it; she's picked up the meditation and body scanning components and has gained a great deal of stability in the standing and sitting poses, even moving on to some twisting and bending recently. She has dramatically increased her flexibility now touching her toes, reaching her left arm nearly straight overhead, and able to reach all the way around in dancer pose on both sides (lying down). While I had been doing plenty of stretching with her, it had all been passive whereas this all involves her reaching and breathing into lengthening stretches. A lot of the "special handling" I had to do at first to keep her up or supported is no longer necessary so it's a much easier class for me. We've bumped it up to 3x per week and she has a great time doing it, even looking forward to it and buying yoga clothes. Really glad we tried it, and results are exceeding all expectations.

Have also finally ramped back up on the walking practice for the first time since the fall getting in between 500 and 1,000 steps per day for the last 2 weeks and I would say she's peaked the last two days in terms of reliable, decisive walking. Probably as good or better than before the fall. She's clearly encouraged and can see the connection between the recent workload and improvement.

Estimming her botoxed left arm for reaching practice, where I've discovered it helps if I hold the dog out in front of her for a *slightly* more rewarding reach result. That's called being a sneaky bastard.

Endeavoring to get her into one of the high-end neuro rehab programs to update some stuff, but the paperwork and wait lists are pretty frustrating. She's eager to get back to a speech therapist as she's having some trouble with facial control. Hopefully something breaks soon so we can kill two birds with one stone.

As usual with a posting here, today was kind of a rough one. Not comfortable leaving her alone at all so skip any workout or errands. Seems like she's already better though, so just catch up tomorrow.

I wonder how does it work.... I mean is your health insurance paying for everything? For part of the rehab? Do you have to go to a certain rehab program or can you choose whatever you can find (in USA)? Or can you include other countries as well?

My personal experience is that dealing with all that organizational stuff around a health issue is as almost big nightmare like the health issue in itself.

Basically we can choose whatever we want, among the options they will pay for which may include asking them for something unique. They will not pay for anything outside the US. It can be somewhat challenging to get them to pay for something outside our state, lol.

In wife's case, the actual health issue is so complex that the organizational seems easy. Since everything goes through the brainstem, she can present pretty much any symptom at any time for any duration and it may mean something, or it may mean absolutely nothing. We have to be especially careful about going to doctors, just due to their tendency to want to "do" something.

She has been declared disabled and gets a basic income from Social Security and medical coverage through Medicare--specifically enrolled in a Medicare/Private partnership policy called an "Advantage" plan which we pay an overall lowish premium for and winds up working like a typical American "through-work" plan. We have a deductible then standard copays/percentages on approved care until we hit an out-of-pocket maximum at which point it is covered 100%, so long as the insurance company approves. Due to the Medicare/Disability angle and the fact we are working with facilities oriented toward long-term recovery, we've thus far had very good success at getting care approved, fingers crossed.

Where it gets really frustrating is when it comes to specific rehab therapy interventions; insurance approval really lags behind the science. There are useful therapies which the insurance will not pay for (even in a facility they have in-network) and there are *useless* and even disproven therapies which they will pay for. Part of the reason I don't want to take her to just any nearby clinic is to avoid money-making wastes of time, which I know has come up in the past.

Frequently, insurance may pay for two or even three months of continuous 2x/wk rehab therapy. Last year we received ten months, mostly of 3x per week. Have not tried to get more this year because we'd rather travel to a more expert facility in a larger city for a while, were making progress working the home-program our therapists had taught her, and she was sick of the 1 hr drive to rehab plus the workload she'd done there hadn't been challenging for a while anyway. The yoga is not covered at all. The caretaker who comes in a few afternoons per week is not covered at all. Some medical equipment and supplies are covered, some that are convenient or useful are not.

Sorry if I'm rambling--it happens.

It is highly interesting info for me. A lot of similarities with german system. Here we all are health insured by law, but the second you have something special, something different than a normal cold, all this forms and what is covered and what not starts.

Good to hear the yoga's going well. I don't have a lot else to say but keep posting here, it's good for you to talk about what's going on imo.

It's great news the yoga is being of such benefit to your wife. The improvements she is showing must be very heartening for the both of you. Obviously your wife's well being is paramount but please make sure to take care of yourself, the role of a carer is often overlooked and it can be really stressful and difficult. I hope you are coping ok.

Well that is good advice, if actually hard to follow. I do get out nearly daily for exercise or hot yoga classes, I meditate regularly, see a therapist weekly, and almost every day take the wife and dog for a walk in the park (that we need to drive across town for). It's not much, I know, but I do feel I've moved beyond most of the self-flagellation I used to indulge in. I've accepted that the situation is overwhelming and I'm not going to be perfect, in fact I'm going to get overwhelmed sometimes. It appears one of my life skills is the ability to pick myself up and progressively motivate out of being down. I mean, "ability to drink in moderation" would have been nice instead, but oh well.

Hope your wife is doing well Holliday, don't want to derail your thread but I found your thread hoping to possibly find an answer from you or some others that have subscribed to this thread.

Not to go into a long story but my dad right now is recovering from a major stroke in the right side of his brain. He is 67 and had his stroke October 17th, spent a few weeks in ICU and then at another hospital with a trach and got off it, and now recovered which was quite a miracle and has been home for 2 weeks after rehab.

He lost most feeling in his left arm which is mostly dead weight and his left leg as well but is starting to get a little movement from it, hopefully overtime with both... He seemed really optimistic and happy, extremely positive actually and he has not been like that before the stroke for a long time. He would spent a lot of hours in his office, running a construction business and constantly being stressed and we found out he drank a lot more than we knew about which could all have been a big factor in the stroke.

Anyway, I found it really amazing how positive my dad has been after all of this, like he found god and now loves to watch Joel Olesteen on sundays and wants to go to church, like a completely new person and very funny and joking around a lot..Until saturday.

My mom and brother were attempting to walk my dad to our house next door where we have a shower thats handicap accessible and while my dad got into the shower he had a seizure. Ambulance came and he was rushed to the hosp... after a few tests he's ok, apparently pretty common and he's now on anti-seizure meds, also back home..except, he's changed.. He isn't like he was post-stroke, pre-seizure, he seems very down on himself and depressed and has been getting very irritated with anyone trying to help him.

It has only been 2 days so maybe I'm overreacting but both me and my mom have noticed a major change and I hope he doesn't log into a depression permanently because of this seizure. Have you had any experience with this sudden mood change and I'm sort of wondering how we should prepare ourselves so we can help him stay positive about rehabbing

Hi Royle,

Sorry for the delayed response, I've been off the grid for a few days. The first thing that comes to mind with what you describe is; the seizure meds. Those are some significant mind-altering medications and working with a neurologist my wife spent ~6 months trial-and-erroring on different drugs before finding something that worked. I would call them 6 devastating months and some of them carried major mood swings and seeming personality changes. Some of them just take time to get acclimated to. Some of them may just be a bad combination for your father. Probably best to report issues to the prescribing doctor and see what they say and/or find an epileptologist.

Thanks for the reply, appreciate it. He actually did a complete 180 today it seems.. Really positive, joking around again and definitely back to his post-stroke, pre-seizure state of mind..Fingers crossed hoping he keeps this personality because if he is down in the dumps and pissed off it's gonna be very hard to get him where he once was. Prepared for the long road as I'm sure you've gone thru and mines only been a fraction of it so far so I appreciate the feedback, sometimes it gets a little crazy trying to find info online with so many different stories.

Thoughts on a CBD pen? It's pretty much a weed pen without the THC, my brothers GF has one and she doesn't like to smoke but she gets anxiety and says it really helps her sleep and deal with stress..her mom got her one in VT where she had a medical card. I know marijuana is known to help with seizures and my dad likes to smoke but whenever I bring it up my mom isn't having it..I'm not against anti-seizure meds because I obviously don't want him having another because if he falls or anything esp on blood thinners it could be really bad but I'm not a huge fan of all these meds, CBD could be a good alternative that a lot of ppl never give a shot.