What were your bad days before starting to diet? Those are the days you want to avoid.

I will tell you about mine. A bad day would mostly involve alcohol. Maybe 5 microbrews. Half a pizza at the bar. Plus whatever I ate that day. So that's around 3600.

Another bad is when I was betting sports heavy. Thousands and thousands of dollars mixed with heavy drinking. Hot dogs. Burgers. Sometimes 12 beers. Those days were 4000+.

I will still have days like that. But it's normally a birthday or celebration. I did have my moderns day record of 6600 on a cruise. But the next day went immediately on crunch mode.

Why don't you have a couple of really good weeks at 1500 average and plan a 3000 day for yourself? Maybe a birthday is coming up or go out with your boyfriend to a nice dinner. It's no big deal, the next day back at it.

It wasn't the amount of calories, but the way it happened. Had a tough day, my partner buys chips and chocolate and I just think "**** it, I don't care". Done that so many times, and then it's easy to just give up. But logging helps to refocus. Today started at 0 again.

Bad days for me: start eating biscuits at 10.30, eat a pack throughout the day, maybe some chocolate as well, some toast, and handfuls of nuts, make a cake, eat half, hide the rest. Just constantly grazing. That's like secret eating that no one knew about and I pretended didn't happen.

Or the other one is not eating too much crap carbs during the day, but then eating chocolate & chips at night. My partner eats 1-2 small meals a day, and gets the rest of his calories eating junk in front of the TV (his weight has been stable for years). If he can do it, I can too, right? No, cos I eat during the day as well. That is actually probably less calories than the daytime snacking, but harder to resist, because it's more social. But it is mindless eating and I feel bad about it.

I don't even want to eat like that. It's just to do with being bored or stressed. Drinking at the bar sounds way more fun.

1429 cals, 79p, how did that happen

2x5 pushups
3x10 squats

Ended up a bad day yesterday, but I kinda knew it was going to. 2163 cals, 114p

Today at lunch, I thought I was so hungry still but I waited and then I wasn't hungry any more. Food takes a while to kick in sometimes.

1521 cal, 104p

Scale was at 79.8kg this morning (176lb). I think that's about 1lb/week, which is fine.
Qther measurements: waist -79, hips 109, bust 100.

Exercise has been spotty. I think I might meander along with that for a bit. Main goal for August is to continue to do schoolwork without succumbing to mindless/comfort eating.

I have a theory that if no one sees me eat it, it doesn't have any calories. I looked all around the supermarket today, but couldn't find anything that fit the criteria. No invisible, non-calorie food anywhere. I did get some herbal tea, so that will have to do.

Yeah, i have this too. Sometimes after i eat an unsatisfying meal, I decide that i'm gonna eat more (which is ok). But if i'm busy and not able to eat for a while I usually find that i'm not really that hungry anymore and just say "meh".

Nothing to see here today. No one saw me and you can't prove anything.

I just need some actual sleep, maybe shouldn't have taken those pills.

Ok, gonna be good today. Drink my herbal tea and do some work. Do I follow my plan? Yes, I should.

I didnt write down Sunday's food but it was all good. About 1550cal. Yesterday was not good, but not crazy either. Like, no cake or anything.

I was gonna take the week off, but I decided that wouldn't be compatible with my goals.

1538 cal, 95p for today.

I am kinda tempted to do some exercise, but wouldn't want to shock myself too much. Tomorrow is my day for walking around the cemetery, so that's something.

2630 cal, because pizza. Struggling to be consistent atm.

Keep it up, you've been doing great so far

Thanks, Nick.

Today was better, 1371cal, 93p

breakfast
lunch: baked beans on toast
snack: sweet potato and lentil soup
dinner: beef stew with potato

I used to eat so much fruit, now basically only have it for breakfast. All carbs, no protein.

breakfast - 351cal, 21p

lunch - baked beans on toast, hummus with vegie sticks 502 cal, 23p

dinner - baked dinner, lamb, potato, pumpkin, etc. 599cal, 33p

snack - chocolate, jubes 237cal, 2p

1688cal, 78p

Apparently 25g chocolate has 2g protein. That seems unlikely.

We walked around Manly Dam today. Took lots of photos but they all end up boring and flat. Maybe I'm asking too much from a phone camera, or maybe it's just that I don't know what I'm doing. It was a nice walk tho, with lots of wildflowers - boronia, spider flowers, wattles, heath, egg and bacon bush. I would like to know each one, but hakeas look like grevilleas, and bossiaea look like dillwynia and all the epacris look the same, except for the ones that look completely different.

I am trying to decide what to make for dinner tonight. Maybe eggs? Leftovers from last night? Tomato soup?

Try to eat more than 1500 calories in a day or you'll have days like these. When you are genuinely hungry and tend to overeat by a lot. Aim for 1650-1750ish.

1650 is my target, but it seems strange to make myself eat more if I haven't reached it. I'll have to think about that.

breakfast - oats, yogurt etc 351 cal, 21p
lunch - broccoli with lamb and hummus (broccoli shoutout to cashy), cottage cheese on crackers 399cal, 32p
snack - sultana bran cereal, orange 202cal, 6p
dinner - roasted veggies with feta 494cal 24p

1445cal, 83p

Boyfriend was all inspired by our walk yesterday, so we went for a walk again tonight. My foot is sore now - need to find a tennis ball.

I'm only below 80kg first thing in the morning. But I guess I have not actually been too consistent with the calories lately.

Yesterday was 1870cal, 101p, but there is a lot of guesswork in those numbers.

Not logging is always a bad sign, as we know.

Minus numbers, today I've had: oats etc for breakfast, 4 pieces of bacon, around 4 oz cashews, a bunch of rice crackers, a bowl of cereal, an orange, a pork chop, a chocolate milk and an ice cream.

Dinner will be what, I'm not sure, maybe steak and hash browns.

OA says HALT - hungry, angry, lonely, tired (reasons for overeating). Of those I would pick lonely, though that is not really the right word for how despondent and disconnected I feel about not being able to accomplish the things I am trying to do.

There's another term from OA - mood altering. Nothing alters my mood like food does. After I ate all that today, I felt sick, so I wanted to eat something else because that is the best way I know to cheer me up. Luckily I realised that was not going to work. Meditating is another thing that helps, so I tried that and that was a good thing.

What you see is what you eat imo.

Have a bunch of fruit or veggies lying around everywhere you sit or hang around. Whenever I'm at home and my mother peeled a bunch of carrots, I pretty much finish the entire bowl just because it's so easy to grab one and snack on it. And it actually makes you feel good. Cauliflower also tastes great raw.

And if you stop buying ice cream and chocolate milk you won't have those anymore either. Why try to resist eating it if you can just stop buying it?

I think Evene has a case of boyfriend-buys-tons-of-junkfood-syndrom. Having good stuff available still helps, tho.

Maybe I will ask him not to buy cashews at least. They are my biggest temptation.


Syndrom, that idea is so sensible, it will never work. I'll give it a try though.

Oh man, I love raw cauliflower.

It's a bit spicy when it's raw.

Food today:
Breakfast - 350cals
Cherry tomatoes x4
60g hummus -100cals
1 ryvita – 35cals
1 Capsicum
1 carrot
Apple - 90cals
¼ chicken – 300cals
150g cottage cheese
200g strawberries
lamb chop
1 hash brown
3 mushrooms
½ carrot

Bored with calorie counting, what to do. Maybe I should make a plan.

Breakfast - should I change this? Nah.

Lunch - maybe chicken with steamed vegies and that quinoa that's in the cupboard.

Dinner - mushroom and spinach pasta? With soy beans? Or Italian sausage for them as wants it.

Herbal tea, as desired.

Cottage cheese and Ryvita for a snack.

Should I count the calories for this or just assume that it looks about right? Maybe for the pasta since that is easy to overeat.

I forgot to cook the quinoa, so I messed up my plan. Now what? I could probably count everything. Or assume 150cal of quinoa can be replaced by something else. That's like, a piece of bread. Or quite a lot of strawberries.

I have all the things I need to make banana cake, begging to be used. This is obviously a bad idea, but not sure what to do with the egg yolks and over-ripe bananas otherwise. I guess I could freeze the bananas and wash the pan. I need a dog to feed the egg yolks to.