This.

Your relationship with Code is purely toxic. And you can't clear that by yourself.

Congratulations with your progress with smoking.

I would be cautious in re-interpreting your motivations for losing weight. Memory has a way of distorting things as time passes. I would not be at all surprised if your initial weight loss was due solely to depression and stress at that point in your life.

Imo, tell code to go **** himself. Plenty of better fish in the sea. At his core code seems a rather unlikable person.

A successful relationship is about tolerating each other's faults, celebrating your differences and growing together. It shouldn't be about emotional blackmail and ultimatums.

Code knows your vulnerabilities and he knows how to push your buttons to get what he wants. Not that I think you're entirely the wronged party in all this (it takes two to tango, etc.), but I think you're more needy and emotionally fragile and that Code exploits this rather ruthlessly.

As others have said, to almost every outsider, including numerous trained therapists, the relationship looks really unhealthy for you.

Lol at people telling her to lose Code. She's more likely to give up sugar and fast food and eat three cans of tuna for breakfast every day.

Thanks Cit.

Agreed, Lunchables is funny

Her weight is a bigger issue than smoking.

This just isn't true. Metabolisms aren't static and no one is eating at a specific deficit daily. She might lose an extra pound.

I mean people would be losing and gaining weight like crazy if the metabolism didn't adjust.

She's basically eating at maintenance calories for an obese person. A 50 calorie across the board reduction would translate almost directly to the mathematical estimate for fat loss.

And I question the validity of your post even for leaner people who are already dieting. I achieved a dramatically faster rate of fat loss on 1400 calories than on 1600 calories, for example. Metabolic adjustment is almost always overstated.

If it was just an extra tbsp of jelly per day, then yeah, ok, who really cares. That's not what we've been seeing on the days she's been logging, so who knows what things look like on the missed days.

As usual, Thremp is right -- it's not so much about the jelly specifically, it's more the fact that the days where she has 300 calories of jelly indicates a lack of forethought and planning into what she's going to eat and whether or not it's worth it to her to fit those relatively empty calories into her daily allotment. I mean, I'm having some ice cream and bourbon for dessert tonight, but only because I got ~270 g of protein in with relatively low carbs and fat during the day and will still be at 2400 calories with this mild indulgence. The lack of planning IS the problem, not whether or not she manages to stay under calories by skipping dinner after having 1000 calories of fast food breakfast.

Tues log:

How does one go about eating 4 yogurts in a day?
Also, surprised by the lack of tortillas with that much chicken and cheese. (Small positive I suppose)

M,

First off, excellent day in general. That restrained breakfast and lunch left you plenty of room to have a big satisfying dinner.

So the main point here is that you did well.

But you're trying to lose weight. So the secondary point is - could you make any small changes that don't take away from that meal but shave off some calories?

4oz of cheese is a lot. How about an ounce less? And chips are just a nutritional disaster, what if you skipped those?

Those two changes are 250 calories and turn a solid day into a stellar day.

The more you think about shaving off those small edges (like saving a couple hundred jelly calories here and there), the easier it'll be for you to lose weight.

200 is a lot more than 50. Sounds like you were on a pretty strict diet. M isn't going to eat the same things every day and nor does she have to since she can lose weight just by eating reasonably.

I'd be really surprised if the theoretical weight loss was actually achieved in a controlled study. Even if you tried doing the same thing routine, there are just too many factors (even things you can't control like the temperature outside) for it to be realized.

And your anecdotal evidence about losing more weight by dropping 200 calories really just depends on where your maintenance level is.

I just found out a coed team needs a girl, so there's a good chance I can jump on the team and play some softball this summer. Woo hoo!

Good points. I'll try to be more concious on the little things I can cut out. Thanks.

el d makes some very good points, but the simplest solution is to not go out to eat Mexican (I'm assuming that meal is from a restaurant). Learn how to make fajitas at home, marinate the chicken (lime juice, cilantro, jalapenos, fajita seasoning, evoo, etc.) A couple tortillas, chicken, sautéed peppers and onions, salsa, a little bit of cheese. no chips to tempt you. will def be several hundred less calories than going out for mexican

Or....just skip the tortillas!

Lol at tortilla-free fajitas. They enhance the flavor and satiety of fajitas by far more than their calories. I generally limit them to two when 3-4 are available. Just make two gigantic fajitas.

Don't tell me you're actually hating on her eating 4 yoghurts?

Seems very reasonable.

Metabolic changes aren't that great. NEAT varies wildly for people ranging from negative to positive feedback loops while in a deficit. This is probably what you're thinking of.

EVOO is disgusting in this. Use butter for chicken. (Maybe lard.)

People are obsessed with EVOO even tho it doesn't make any difference. Like honey instead of white sugar. If this has any meaningful impact on your health as a normal, reasonably healthy adult, you're so far ****ed it doesn't matter.

Lets just name random **** in fajitas that have a ton of calories: guac, sour cream, tortillas.

I mean FFS, why even eat a ****ing fajita if what we really wanna do is make stir fry with taco seasoning? The idea isn't to make every meal as ****ing horrendous as possible.

They're not the worst things she eats by any means, but they're a crutch she will need to stop leaning on eventually. Yogurt is overrated in terms of being "health food", and pretty terrible cutting food. It is calorie-dense and low satiety. Perhaps worst of all, it plays into the "need" to have dessert (or at least something dessert-like) every single day.

I'm not familiar with that particular brand, but I think it's a pretty significant leap going from sausage biscuits or "breakfast on a bun", whatever that is, to yoghurts, even if it's the overly sugary kind.

There's obv a lot of difference in yoghurt, but I think natural, non sweetened, preferably high protein yoghurt is pretty good "health food" and it's a staple in my diet also when cutting.

Mik,

didn't kyleb advocate the "abject misery diet"? Not enough misery ITT imo, especially not of the abject sort.

On the off chance you're serious, 75+ lbs left to lose is a bit far from the threshold at which any appreciable misery should be necessary to lose weight.

Protein being spelled "protien" in her screenshots will never stop grinding my gears.

Is this real life?

I'd consider the large family size containers as 2 adult servings...maybe 3-4 if you're adding fruit and granola.

I have no idea if this is true for MLYLT, but I eat yogurt regularly and have never considered it dessert.