All natty, all genetics, all authentics! Gj

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5/16/16

pushups 20x4
front raise 12x12x4
lateral raise 13x16x4

Very low energy. Went to therapist, talked about how lonely I am. Got depressed later in the day.

5/17/16

Depression being a turdface. No energy, can't eat, can't lift, with a sprinkling of suicidal thoughts on top. The usual. Watched a documentary about some hot black ballerina chick.

5/18/16

tricep pushdown w/ bands 15x4
flys 18x16x4
db bench 23x18x4
arnold press 23x13x4
knee hugs 24x4

Weighed in at 142.6 lbs. I'm done bulking. I'm sick of always feeling full and the protein shake permabloat.

Still skinny Krunic... But nice You definitly get some muscle mass...

Train hard...

5/19/16

ab roll 12x4
db squat 56x16x4
db dl 56x16x2
1-leg calf raise 56x15x4
1-leg kickback 48x11x2

5/20/16

hanging knee raise 15x5
side plank 35sec x 3

5/21/16

chinup 5x10
1-arm bentover row elbow out 43x14x4
1-leg db dl 43x15x4
knee hugs 30x4
1-arm bentover row elbow in 43x13x4
lat pushdown w/ bands 12x2
curl 23x11x2

5/22/16

Weight: 140.8 lbs

I've stopped trying to eat as much as possible. I have way more energy and feel better when my body isn't constantly spending so much energy digesting food. I don't really care what I weigh anymore.

My priorities are cardio fitness and strength. The weather is nice now, I'll try to run outside as often as possible.

Ran/walked 2.4 miles (3.8km) in 28 minutes. Eating cake and ice cream for lunch.

You seem like the type of person who needs to make a conscious effort to eat in order to eat enough. If it's a matter of not wanting to stuff your face, why not make a shake and put some coconut oil or something in it? It should be easy to eat a lot without "eating a lot."

Yeah it's hard for me to eat a surplus. I drink protein shakes with cream sometimes and mostly all they do is suppress my apetite and make me feel bloated. I might make more of an effort to bulk up at some point in the future but right now I'm happier with eating maintenance level calories and doing more cardio.

Maybe you need to stay away from dairy. Try getting your calories from oils instead. Or nuts. 100g of cashews is 550 calories.

More importantly, why would you bulk? The whole term is a terrible misnomer which led to tons of newbs going full GOMAD and fat****ing themselves. Candito style recomp 'til desirable BF/sloooooow mass gaining for most who care about aesthetics at all. Somewhere along the way people mixed up building mass and gaining weight and started using the latter as a goal.

I won't try to give advice on the depression front because I don't have any knowledge there but obviously your situation is fairly challenging and I hope you'll slowly be able to turn it around. However, some workout stuff below that could motivate you.

Your workout is kind of all over the place and right now you state your goals as cardio fitness and strength. K. The first one is fine but the second is pretty vague and from my experience it's extremely important to know why you're really doing what you're doing and "strength" isn't specific enough for long term motivation. Case in point, most people who find H&F and stumble on SS/GSLP/whatever don't primarily want to get stronger, they want to look better and the getting strong part comes along but for some reason people have a hard time admitting/realizing this. This can lead to misaligned goal setting -> lack of motivation -> no more log updating. Legend has it it might also lead to SALTS but I think that's mostly just about being French.

Anyway, long derail but seeing you wanted to learn the 1APU and pistol squats, bodyweight fitness might be worth a shot - especially since you don't want to go into a gym. BWF on reddit is an ok resource (check the FAQ+recommended routine) and Antranik's routine is fairly good but probably too advanced for you as of right now. Still, it might show you what the goals of BWF are and what you can be able to achieve.

As a disclaimer my workouts are mostly about powerlifting but I've added a few bodyweight skills here and there as eg the handstand is just a cool skill to have. And yes I'm totally using anecdotal stuff here to make a general recommendation but such is life. For you specifially, advancing through the progressions of a particular skill might be more rewarding that adding weight to your calf raises so I'd give it a shot.

Just got back from running with a cute girl I used to work with. I didn't keep track of time and distance very well because we were chatting the whole time, but it was about 5 miles in about 90 minutes. She said she wants to run once a week, so I think I got me a running buddy.

I feel like I'm making pretty rapid progress with my cardio fitness. Just a few weeks ago I was alternating running 1 minute and walking 2 minutes. Now I can run like 3 minutes and walk 1 minute and keep that up for much longer.

Why not just have 90 minutes of sex with her weekly?

she's married

3.25 miles in 35 minutes. Then ate a whole bag of milano cookies. i never thought I'd like running but I do. Hopefully I'll have some energy for lifting later.

I've had no energy at all since last wednesday. Haven't lifted or even ran. I can barely get out of my chair. It's not like I'm really depressed or anything, which is usually the reason I lack energy. I dunno what to do.

I apologize for my ****ty non-lifting log. Please enjoy pics of Anllela instead.

Tried to run a little yesterday and had all kinds of pain in my ankles and knees. I felt like an 80 year old arthritic hobo.

I ate like 50g of gelatiin and my joints feel better today. I have a lttle energy but it's not back to normal.

I'm gonna run with my friend tomorrow, same one I ran with before.

Starting to get some energy back. I ran with my friend for about 3 miles but she had to stop cuz her knee was hurting and she had a dance class later in the day. She said her hammies were weak and stiff. I told her to start doing 1-leg deadlifts.

Went home and did 7x3 chinups, 20x3 pushups and tried to do some christopher sommers' bodyweight gymnastics stuff. That **** is hard.

She wanted to stop so she could come "rest" at your place

1. no
2. my mom was at my place

I don't know what it is about lifting but my body can't handle it. It's like an instant panic attack if I try to lift heavy. If I use enough weight so that failure happens in less than about 12 reps my body freaks the **** out. I don't want to have to take xanax after every workout just to function. I already need xanax to sleep.

This gymnastics stuff is fun tho. I'm gonna do that from now on.

Front lever


This kid JFC

yeah for me i just chose no sleeping instead of sleep aids they ****ed me right up

how much do you sleep?

I sleep fine now but before competition I sleep 0 minutes a day probably from anxiety

^ Yeah I was surprised you had such difficulty sleeping during your prep bdiddy. And you had no clen+t3 messing you up and were only on 350mg tren...

Was it mostly just hunger/psychological thing? How long were you running the tren?

It happened before my natural competitions as well I'm on tren now and I sleep fine I think it's a low food and body fat thing I can diet off like 90% and sleep fine as well but the last part is when the no sleep kicks in...I was on the tren at least like 14 weeks or longer cause I took it post show to lol.