No but you sure are!

I'm allergic to nuts except almonds. I can tolerate dairy well, heavy cream isn't a problem.

Getting carbs is easy. I can eat nearly all the fruit, bread, chocolate, random pastry stuff I want. My only sources of protein at work are the occasional piece of salami or head cheese from the garde manger (cold apps) station. Or if there's some meat in the staff lunch.

Calories are what matter though and protein shakes arent going to help there

What do you cook when your home?

I cheap liquid way to put away 1000+ calories at a time is just what would get a guy like krunic there.

Pastry chef said today I'm the best assistant she's ever had. I asked her out of how many and she said like 6 or 7. I said aiight that's cool.

Went to psychiatrist last week and she gave me a short list of referrals. Then she said since I've been on the same meds/dosages for a while and I'm pretty stable that I could just have my GP prescribe them. I think that's an excellent idea because lol psychiatrists and their $200 for 15 minute appointments.

Weighed myself right after dinner: 136.0. The struggle for calories is real.

Planned to go running today with my friend. It turned out to be like 90* so we just said **** this and walked a bit and sat on a bench in the shade near a water fountain and talked for a while. I told her about my new job. She told me about a feminist themed topless burlesque show she was in. Said it was fun and wants to do it again, and that I should come see it next time.

I've noticed myself getting slightly short of breath sometimes at work and/or after work at home at night. I feel like I need to work on breathing and not getting stressed at work.

Work going well.
Meds going well.
Running buddy wants you to see her boobs.
Trifecta

Meditating at all?

lol

pics of your frand pls

This girl wants to **** you why aren't you hitting that already?!?

I believe he said that she was married

That doesn't change the fact that she wants to jump skeletor's bones.

Pjo,

I haven't been meditating lately. It's probly contributing to the shortness of breath.

N1,

I don't have any pics of her. There's a few YT vids of her dancing but they all have her full real name in the title or description and I don't wanna train wreck this thread. She's cute imo, short with short blond hair, in good shape obv since she's dancing all the time.

bdiddy,

Well she's a great friend and the only person other than my therapist that I can talk to about real **** without being judged or made fun of or whatever. Personally, I place a high value on that and really don't want to **** that up. She's an all around awesome human being and not someone I just wanna bang. Yeah I think she's cute AF and of course I wanna see her naked and I've thought about her while wanking about 50x. But like I said she's married, so like wtf do I do, say "hey so uh... I know you have a husband and all, but hows about you start bangin me on the side?"

Yes that's exactly what you say

9/13

pushups 15x3
chinups 5x3
lateral raise 13x12x2

9/14

knee hugs 15x3
bo db row 33x12x3
rear delt raise 5x12x3

9/15

db squat 46x8x2
db deadlift 46x10x2
1-leg db deadlift 23x12x2
calf raise 46x8x2

I've gotten into a good routine with the jerb. I've started lifting again, barely. Haven't been sleeping all that well and thus low on energy. There's a chicken coop literally right outside my bedroom window and they cluck and squawk 24/7. Also some new neighbors moved in. A young energetic african american couple who are apparently having some difficulty with their relationship. Every night they have a rather loud discussion that goes something like this:

woman: I AINT HAVIN NO GANGBANGS ANTHONY
man: BUT I AAAAGGGHHHGHGHGHHGKKKKK
woman: I DUN WANNA BE WITCH U NO MO ANTHONY
man: AAAAGGHHHH KKKKKKKK WWWWWAAAAAAA
woman: I DUN GOTTA TAKE THIS SHEEIT FROM U NO MO ANTHONY
man: BITCH IMA AAAHHHGGGGGGKKKKKKK

I'm afraid to sleep with earplugs cuz then I might not hear my alarm to wake up in the morning. I think I might get a cheap smart watch with a vibrate function just to wear at night and set the alarm to vibrate.

Libido has been higher than normal over the last few weeks. Maybe it's the all the vitamin D gainz from going outside almost every day. Constant daydreaming about MILF and/or running buddy ass.

can you please post that youtube vid? or somehow get a pic of her? you know, for science.

what's the worst that can happen? she will never know.

The vids are old and **** quality and you can hardly see her face. I honestly wouldn't have known she was in them if her name wasn't in the descriptions.

If you really wanted to you could see her in person next tuesday when we go running.

Pastry chef and I were talking about lifting the other day. Boss lady said she used to DL 200 lbs. Is that good? It's more than I could at least. Said she had shoulder surgery a couple years ago and hasn't lifted since. We talked about going to the gym together as team pastry powerlifters lol.

Just realized I'm totally in love with running buddy. I told this to a mutual friend and she was like "yeah I kinda knew that all along." Whatevs.

Yes that was obvious now please sex her

this is what i visualize when i try to picture your friend in my head:



[x] blonde
[x] petite
[x] ass

bdid,

The realization that I like her more than as a friend makes me want to not ever see or talk to her ever again to avoid having to feel my feels. I guess I should talk to my therapist about that.

#1,

lol that girl is like 16 tho.

She's the short blonde one in red (plz disregard the bad music and choreography):

The F did I just watch

LOL this.

also, I'd hit that

Saw my therapist today and we talked about my boner for running buddy, and more specifically, my impulse to cut her out of my life completely immediately after realizing it. The consensus is that for my whole life I've completely avoided saying or doing anything that could bring up strong emotions, this being one of many examples.

We'll work on that. I think at this rate I might be able to have something resembling a healthy relationship sometime in my early 40s. So until then I'll just keep wanking to IG fitness whores and being #foreveralone.