About to play some floor hockey, so #prayforop. Of course I got called out when talking **** and have to play for money. Much rather do this on the ice, but whatever.

Rip punker

Floor hockey was ridiculous, but fun. Ended up losing 1-2 (ft10 games). I'm a greasy hockey player, but I didn't play as greasy as I should of. My backhand died over the last ten years. Got a few goals but still disappointed in myself.

Met a Cinnabon at the bar. Recently the only woman besides lapka who makes me want to get a chance to know them better. Playing it slow w her, well slow in my standards. We hung over out till closing time and a while after until her drunk friends scooped her up and took her home. Could of got a kiss, could of got a #, could of accepted her invite to go w her and her friends. Instead I'm playing the dangle game.


Health wise? Still drinking too much beer. Lifted for first time during busy hours and hated it. I goto a small gym and saw some lolwtf things being done by other. Shoutout to homie posted up in the middle of a walk way that was using a portable DVD player w an instructional workout DVD.

Weighed in at 249 today. Officially 50+ lbs lost since Nov 2. Scale only went to 300, so no clue what I weighed at that dark time.

Worked out w a friend and just did weights of what he did but more reps for the most part.

Bench - 1x10 45 135
2x10 157.5
1x13 157.5

Land mines - 1x10 90 2x10 110

Tri press - 3x12 97.5

Rope pd - 3x10

Overhead db - 3x10

TRX row - 3x12

Squat - 1x10 135
2x5 187.5
2x5 207.5
1x12 135

Deadlift - 1x5 205
2x6 255

Calf raises - 3x10 60s

Trx row / pullups

Lapka,

Forgot to explain tore up shoes. I am assuming this refers to lack of tread, tread on sole of shoe, and tread in reference to a woman's vagina ( no tread on tires mean they have been drove too much). Make sense ?

I saw my ex fiancé for first time in years yesterday. She is ****ing/living with 58ish year old. She is 25. Can't make this **** up. I ever knew the old slug prior to knowing they were a thing. Life is weird.

Ohp 117.5xhungover

#mood

Bench - 1x10 45 135
1x5 157.5
2x5 177.5
1x5 187.5
1x14 135

Tri press - 2x10 135

Db rotate - 3x10 30s

Incline press - 1x10 70 90 110

Rope pd

Back / bicep stuff

My head is fk'd

Haven't logged calories once this month. Need a new belt . Beer and the past are haunting me. Wish I would wake up with amnesia.

This probably isn't the best advice, but I would just supress all that past stuff and pretend it never happened. Just look forward to the future.

M,

Are you attempting to put me on tilt ?

Some kind of therapy?

Excess weight is rather the consequence of stuff you are suppressing. The question is how to deal with stuff in most constructive way......

I do find blogging hugely therapeutic. I mean where else would you chew so many ears at one time off and not feel like you are going on peoples nerves. And somehow writing things down changes them.

Yoga?

Reading here a little bit? For me it always takes away this feeling that my problems are special, when I read things here.

Lol
I was attempting to give you legitimate advice.

I agree that blogging might help. The problem is, when I write about something, I almost always get somewhat deep about it. My emotions are like a snowball at times. The root of everything that kills me is love. No matter how I break it down in words, it will still be pain, just easier to feel.

I got it, start writing country music.

Why it is a problem, to get deep? I mean if it helps you to calm down, use it, like you do with beer or grass. Whatever it takes to regulate emotions. And blogging is a bunch less destructive than many other things.

And about pain.....As long as you feel pain, you are alive and are also able to feel joy. Human psyche is just built such way, that it is impossible to be always happy. And if you don't feel nothing, then you are dead. And "easier to feel" is a biggie.

Going deep emotionally will just amplify the key negatives. Grass helps me escape, beer is for bull ****ting w friends.

Bench - 1x10 45 135
1x5 157.5
2x5 177.5
1x15 137.5

Tri press - 3x10 117.5

Incline press - 1x10 70 2x10 120

Rope pd - 3x10 60

Pec fly

Happy st party's day. It's my cats birthday. Cheers bitches

Yesterday back sht

Currently drunk

MLYLT do you wanna snap ?

#prayforop

Finally got 7 hours of sleep. Woke up at 2 and had to quit gym session because I was feeling like drunk pos. Dizzy bar path w OHP.

I need to combo breaker this drinking streak.

Start by making a better picture of your cat. Duuude....... I mean a cat - any cat - is defined as most photogenic object in universe and you managed to kill the picture. I don't kick your butt for chaos around the cat.

Why exactly would you like to break the drinking streak? Or asked differently why do you get drunk? You gave until this moment here two completely different reasons for why you are drinking: to have fun with your friends and to be able to sleep. You don't have to analyse it here, but it is very practical to have the answer for yourself.

And for both this reasons there are different and better solutions than alc.

Lapka,

Thank you for keeping me in line in regards to cat pictures. It was only one I had available on phone at the time.

In regards to drinking, I used it in the past to aid with my sleeping when I was on probation and could not smoke grass. It is now just a social thing. I was feeling bad mentally earlier in the week. After drinking with friends and other weekend rec activities I feel so much better. Seeing my buddy punt some kids face like the start of the second half felt great.

Why do I drink ? I enjoy it and the situations I get in. Health / calorie wise it murders me.

I am totally serious about cat picture. A cat picture where everyone can see how cute and cool your cat is? And what is his? her? name?

Can't you get into this situations without alc? Do you have shakes in the morning, when you don't drink? Have you looked in the corresponding thread in OOT?

Come on: show more introspection. Try with more differentiated analysis. "I enjoy it" is very general. What aspect exactly? You probably never tried to really observe yourself when drinking. How is the feeling before the first drink? What happens if you delay it for few minutes? What changes with the drink?

Do you like taste? Does it drop your socialization threshold? Are you anxious and think to much about everyday problems when you are sober? Do things seem funny when you are drunk that are just dumb when you are sober? Do you, when drunk, care less about what other people think? Does it give you feeling of connection to your friends? Will they reject you, if you don't drink? Is it just some kind of ritual? ( I mean something like: every time you meet at a bar you have your certain beer or whatever)

I have had my fair share of drinking to much many years ago. I was shy, uptight, afraid to be rejected, socially inept and alc helped with this. I cared less what other people could think when I was drunk. I learned pretty fast to care less in sober state and drinking become just boring. I could do everything I did drunk also sober and even more, I could be more deliberate sober even with silly stuff.

Hey, just saw this...Sorry. I was temp banned yesterday. Let me know if you wanna talk