JWhitt (and "FI") Dating/Relationship Issues Thread - Page 139 - EDF Forum

LucidDream · 04-26-2012, 08:40 AM

JW,

I don't think you sit there and make negative comments all night. I just don't think you have that much fun and it probably shows. You probably are just fairly boring to be around, don't add much to the group, and it all just shows overall in your demeanor. Maybe I'm wrong about all this but given the attitude you have displayed here towards going out in NYC I think it would be pretty unlikely that you are consistently a fun guy to be around but I'm sure you have your nights where you are.

JWhitt88 · 04-26-2012, 09:04 AM

Probably accurate

Lavahands · 04-26-2012, 09:13 AM

Didn't read ****, but lets start here.

Are you assisting others with dating?

Are you requesting assistance from the suave? If so, its been a solid year and a half now, are you still failing? As previous poster states, your probably thinking your games a lot better than it really is, if any or your are having issues with your image.

Vag. is one of the most powerful things on this earth, never forget that. Much ahead of green backs.

samsonh · 04-26-2012, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JWhitt88

Do you think I sit there and make negative comments the whole night? I don't. If I did that why would any person hang out with me? I have the same group of friends from 8-23 years ago.

Let alone multiple groups of people. I accept that I don't like the bars (as does everyone else) and I take it that I'm not working, I'm out with friends, and I'm doing an activity (drinking and socializing) that I enjoy.

I have way more fun at the shore but that doesn't mean when I go out on the weekends I have a miserable time and complain. I don't particularly like the places but I put that aside.

Jwhitt,

I'm sure you like your friends and all, but it's pretty eye opening to me that you live in NYC and most of your friends are from college or pre college. Not a good thing

Lavahands · 04-26-2012, 11:15 AM

OP confirmed virgin? nohomobro

nitwitnit · 05-16-2012, 10:24 PM

Jwhitt,

There are some easy spots in a bar to strike up conversations with randoms. As your leaving girls in general are more open for talking, especially when you are getting your coat. While getting a beer girls will sometimes get a drink on their own, and that's an easier time to talk to them as well. IMO a possible decent approach to starting to talk to randoms is every night you go out randomly talk to some random girl (just one or two) and see what happens. Not saying go out with that sole intent, but it would be probably a good way to gradually start getting good at talking to them.

And **** 11-15 bars you regularly frequent in the area that are "good". Kill me now. I just left a great "party city" that had like 8 bars total that were good spots to go to. A huge advantage was that everyone was a 10 minute walk from the bars (its basically a college city). Where I am now there are literally 3-5 bars that are 10% the quality of the old city with huge inconveniences. It takes an hour to walk home, there are no cabs here, and most people just go to house parties because the bars are so awkward and not good even when you get there. Not to mention the guy/girl ratio is probably 8:2 or 3 hot girls in the entire bar (that happened at least once).

chet22r · 05-23-2012, 05:03 PM

Why even worry about if there are enough 25 y/o girls to date. I say it is a JW problem, figure yourself out and what you need to internalize so your a confident individual. Have to learn to be a "Man" sometime to be able to have a stable relationship. Women want to be treated as a woman. Couple things I learned from being the shy kid in high school to be where I'm at....

1. Assume women want you to talk to them. I've found most of them do, on the streets, stores, bars, working. Be direct...if you find them attractive speak it.

2. Be decisive and stand up for what you believe. You are the man in the relationship.

3. Don't be logical and ask informational questions. Bring out the emotions the girl experiences when she answers something you ask by asking deeper questions. Happy and angry emotions. Girls need to experience the entire spectrum.

4. Have options. Nothing like dating and only dating one girl. But be direct with letting the girls know that is your intentions. How the heck are you going to know what type fits what qualities you seek in a mate. The non-negotiable and negotiable qualities. For example, one the girls I'm dating a month ago, found out she didn't want to have kids but I had a real good time with her. To me that is a non-negotiable quality, I want kids in time, but I had fun with her when we go out. I told her that and we kept dating. We are both happy just dating and having fun, and after telling her this she has brought more girls into my life.

5. Don't get angry at a girl if she rejects you or flakes. Its a you problem, you could of did something differently most of the time. Or she is not in the place in her life for it.

6. If your dating a girl, something I found to have a powerful impact that I observed a friend did with his g/f. When his girl had a bad day and they went out, he took her hand and lead her. Like a father does with his young daughter. Was shocked how powerful this way when I started doing it.

nitwitnit · 06-03-2012, 10:35 PM

Hummm well now that this thread seems dead I wonder when the jwhitt confidence thread starts haha.

El Diablo · 06-04-2012, 04:00 AM

nit,

JWhitt is partying on the shore for the summer.

LucidDream · 06-06-2012, 10:41 AM

Maybe he found himself a gf....

CrunchyBlack · 06-06-2012, 11:45 AM

no chance, #1 rule is don't fall in love at the shore

JWhitt88 · 06-06-2012, 12:04 PM

I'm alive. Nothing to really report too interesting. Glad you guys missed me. I have no interest in finding a girlfriend for the summer unless I fall into something unexpected. I'm 2 hours from where I live most weekends so when I say unexpected that involves meeting a girl that is down the shore for the summer, that I like and that likes me, that lives in NYC. I'm just looking to have a fun time, which I am having for the first time in months.

Did hook up with a girl 2 weeks before the shore in NYC that I saw no long term potential with, magically ran into her down the shore last weekend after having no idea she goes down there...she was furious I didn't contact her (telling me off "now you want to talk to me after you had all last week to reach out to me to go out") and told me to never talk to her ever again when I approached her. Now she's contacting me again to hang out down there either this weekend or next. I'm staying away. To me that's crazy behavior. My initial gut was she was cute but a little crazy and that's why I never contacted her after she slept over.

I will say that I still have no idea what it takes to hook any of these girls long term, though. I still have people from all sorts of social circles that basically seem to do the same thing I have done in the last year, meet a girl, go out on a date, make out that night, hang out another couple times...may or may not have sex...then it fizzles out. I'm really, really starting to doubt the whole, meet, go on repeated date process. Most of the way people met and hooked up (and I've said this) is when they are in the same setting countless times and it just flows be it going to some form of schooling together, being involved in some intramural league, even an office setting. It's not all this scheduling and one on one dates. It's meeting in a casual setting where people are drinking and having fun and hookups happen. And it largely helps when it's in the same social circle. I swear girls gave significant weight to this subconsciously or not subconsciously. A random guy at the bar that they don't know is in a much tougher fight to land her than a guy she is on the same kickball team on if the guy is the same exact guy.

Lastly, I've converted a lot of confidence wise over the last few months, though. I feel (and I can't explain it) that I'm naturally more of a selector than hoping the girl likes me. I've run into some single girls that I may have just stupidly went on dates with that I know are not a good fit for me. My standards have not changed at all but given where I am in I am in no longer the sense of panic I was in months ago to find something. Possibly because I'm having such a fun time on weekends now and it's not a care of mine. Who knows where I'll be after Labor Day but I doubt I'll be in this thread too often since relationships are not a concern of mine.

JWhitt88 · 06-06-2012, 09:49 PM

Dcifr,

You end up going out with the ski girl you re-contacted?

Also, for girls you dated briefly (more than twice but never exclusive) if you are Facebook friends, have social circles and would have information to answering this question...how often do you see them getting into exclusive relationships a few months after you and them break contact?

Personally, for me, all these girls stay single. For close to 2 years now. And, as I mentioned, we always had a fun time that ended in something sexually. It makes no sense that they move on to nobody in particular then stay single. I can think of 3 cases. I don't know if they think they can do better and then with time they realize they can't. Or if they are super picky.

Because yes, my thread was filled with good advice but I was repeatedly told these girls that moved on from me were dating/banging other guys and I was losing out and not that fun. Yet, that was far from the case. I was curious to hear if girls moved on to you to better options or remained single long after we went out 3-6 times.

il_martilo · 06-06-2012, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JWhitt88

Dcifr,

You end up going out with the ski girl you re-contacted?

Also, for girls you dated briefly (more than twice but never exclusive) if you are Facebook friends, have social circles and would have information to answering this question...how often do you see them getting into exclusive relationships a few months after you and them break contact?

Personally, for me, all these girls stay single. For close to 2 years now. And, as I mentioned, we always had a fun time that ended in something sexually. It makes no sense that they move on to nobody in particular then stay single. I can think of 3 cases. I don't know if they think they can do better and then with time they realize they can't. Or if they are super picky.

Because yes, my thread was filled with good advice but I was repeatedly told these girls that moved on from me were dating/banging other guys and I was losing out and not that fun. Yet, that was far from the case. I was curious to hear if girls moved on to you to better options or remained single long after we went out 3-6 times.

It's at least slightly ignorant to think that because someone's facebook status doesn't change that they aren't dating other people.

JWhitt88 · 06-06-2012, 09:57 PM

I understand that but in my cases I know people that know these girls. Facebook relationship status isn't the most opportune way obviously.