Raines is a place I would consider going to but I thought it was a little too upscale and fancy for me to take this girl initially. It seems like a date spot, though, not a Friday/Saturday night place to go out with friends.

I took a girl on a date to a place very similar to that (I can PM you the place) and this girl was also similar in likes/nature to the girl I was just dating and she hated it and felt the cocktails/drinks were too exotic to even try them. She refused to and requested a margarita. I didn't want to have to deal with that again.

I enjoy places with cheap beers where people take advantage of the deal and within an hour or two of the deal are drunk and open up.

And I'm completely true about my statements.

Do you not find NYC bars incredibly overpriced? (it's $6-7 for a Bud Light, you drop $60-150 or more out one night...how does that make you feel the next morning?)

Do you not find them in relation to other cities much smaller and cramped in size? (this isn't debatable, all the bars are small because it's incredibly expensive to buy/lease space in NYC)

Does the fact that there is less space not lead to you feel cramped if the place is deemed popular?

skunk: Fair points re: CQ.

JWhitt: "Once again I live here, you don't. I'll take my word for it 365 days a year over a guy that lives on the West Coast."
Except that you go to crappy places and have a bad time, and I go to places I enjoy and have a fun time.

Start here: http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/79...places-go-844/

Here are some places I went to my last two visits to NYC:
http://www.yelp.com/biz/floyd-ny-brooklyn-2
http://www.yelp.com/biz/the-library-new-york
http://www.yelp.com/biz/rudys-bar-and-grill-new-york
http://www.yelp.com/biz/clover-club-brooklyn
http://www.yelp.com/biz/ward-iii-new-york
http://www.yelp.com/biz/brandy-library-new-york

They are all very different, and people were very fun and approachable at all of them, and I've met girls at all of them except Clover Club and Brandy Library. The only place we didn't end up talking to other people was at Brandy Library, which is more of a chill out w/ the guys vibe.

If you want to comment about those specific places, please do so in the NY Thread, not here. I'm talking about the places to make another point, though.

"They are all overpriced, small in size, and either obnoxiously crowded or dead. There is never a happy medium."

You have the exact same attitude about bars as you do about women. You take a small sample size of your personal experience and then apply it to the whole universe, and completely ignore all dissenting opinion from people with far more experience and success than you. And you strengthen that attitude by surrounding yourself with friends who agree w/ your attitude and opinions. Which leads you to the situation you find yourself in now.

On a related note, I think a big part of your problem is that you go out to bars in NYC to "hit on women." I never go out to pick up women. I go out to have fun and have a good time. In the course of doing that, my friends and I often end up meeting other people out to have fun and a good time, and sometimes that leads to hooking up with girls. The attitude you and your group project at a bar matters a lot.

Finally, it sounds like your social life is all about bars? Many of my best times in NYC (especially wrt meeting hot women) take place at parties, not bars.

J,

http://nymag.com/srch?t=bar&No=1&N=2..._sort_name%7C0

http://newyork.timeout.com/things-to...3319/frat-bars

http://www.sheckysnightlife.com/newy.../frat_bars.asp

I never go out to "hit on women" that's why I never meet any. Do you not remember that I don't talk to randoms nor rarely talk to girls that don't talk to me first?

Most of my nights out revolve around me getting ridiculously drunk before the bars to save money and then being almost incoherent enough to have a conversation.

And I scanned your college bars list and they are really, really bad to go out to on a Friday or Saturday night. They're great for football in the fall but after hours they are terrible. They are also filled with college students, and at my age I'm too old to talk to them.

As my one friend recently said, "NYC day drinking is great, once it gets dark out it's pathetic."

Again.

Bars in NYC are expensive, just like everything else. You're paying for the opportunity to be around some of the world's most ambitious and accomplished people, the ability to sample the world's cultural and culinary best, etc etc. If the money is an issue for you, and you like dating women who are scared by exotic drinks, then yeah, you're not getting what you pay for from NYC and you might like a more reasonably priced city (or the outerboroughs).

To answer specific questions:

1) Yeah I like bars the best where people aren't uptight and open up. Raines, while a great date bar, and a tough place to go completely alone, is also a great example of that because two drinks will have anyone floored.

2) I feel like I get what I pay for in my favorite NYC bars. I don't drink Bud Light unless one of my bro'eyer friends is buying a round and I don't want to impose.

3) I don't find NYC bars cramped at all, but I assiduously avoid places where I'll feel cramped because I don't like feeling cramped. There are plenty of interesting places that aren't cramped.

4) See above. There are lots of bars that have hot, interesting women that aren't popular in the meatpacking district sense of the word.

And look, I'm inclined to agree generally with many things you're saying. I prefer the bar scene in Chicago and Boston because it's a little more laid back in general at the places you'd want to be as a single guy. But in general doesn't matter that much in a city of 8 million because if you choose where you go wisely, you'll barely notice the difference.

I really know I'm coming off at this tough, nasty, depressed person but that's just how I feel about the nightlife. I have sets of friends from college, high school, work, and a summer house that all live in NYC and they've all said the same exact things about the nightlife here so I'm not this complete wackjob that only feels this way. Everyone doesn't enjoy going out here, we do because there is nothing better to do on weekends.

Check out sites like Yelp, where do you see people raving about these places? Whenever I hear of friends going to a place I've never heard of I'll read reviews beforehand and the people are harsher than me. In fact when I'll go to these places I'll like them slightly more to a fair amount more than the 20 reviews I've read on them.

whatever. I understand some of your beefs with the nyc bar scene, I think others are overblown. How is any of this a reasonable excuse for being terrible with* women?

JWhitt,

This one's going to blow your mind. If you don't like bars in NYC, don't revolve your social life around bars in NYC.

I wouldn't know what else to do at nights here. I'm not into plays, art, or music. I like sports and drinking.

What else am I to do on Saturday at 10 PM in NYC?

JWhitt,

I've said something to the effect of "You're doing NYC wrong" in this thread a couple of times. But a different way of putting that may be simply that you are not cut out for NYC and it's not the right place for you. The saying "If you can make it in New York, you can make it anywhere" exists for a reason. New York has the best to offer in so many areas, but it is also one of the toughest and most competitive places around. Competitive, confident, ambitious people often thrive in NYC. But NYC also spits out a lot of people who simply don't have what it takes to succeed there, both professionally and personally. Lots of people give New York a try for a while, then move back to the Midwest or South or wherever where things are a lot easier and way more comfortable for them. Perhaps that is something you should seriously consider.

J,

"What else am I to do on Saturday at 10 PM in NYC?"

I wrote a few posts back: "Finally, it sounds like your social life is all about bars? Many of my best times in NYC (especially wrt meeting hot women) take place at parties, not bars."

Go to parties?

Also, are you going to go out with the guys in this thread who volunteered to show you a different side of going out in NYC than you're used to? If not, why not?

or, more nicely:

Why do you live in New York? You don't seem to like any of the competitive advantages that New York has over other cities, and you seem to really dislike the disadvantages it has. That you have lots of friends there doesn't seem to matter to you because you sound like you have a pretty unsatisfactory social life; that you have a job there doesn't seem to matter that much because bud lights are a noteworthy expense. Seriously, you may want to consider just moving to Nashville or something.

I definitely enjoy working here, like how it's a big sports town, like living in my area and apartment, have the majority of my friends here and prefer living in a city.

So those are all key things one would prefer when choosing where they live. The fact that the nightlife sucks shouldn't overweigh those and cause me to want to leave. The nightlife is 6-10 hours a week.

I don't want to move anywhere else because I don't want to leave my job nor my friends.

What would you advise me to do?

I would try Boston or Chicago but losing my job/social circle would not make me happy.

Mittens,

a) yeah, that.
b) I agree w/ your points re: NYC bars.
c) It took me a long time to figure out what "bro'eyer" was, which I now realize is bro-ier aka more bro-like.
d) "I assiduously avoid places" sick vocab, bro.

El D,


c) your spelling is better. My experience with that word is mostly in speech and not writing.
d) don't troll this thread with two accounts at once, guy.

I can't believe people are still enabling J.

Has intramural sports been suggested yet? That's always a good way to meet new people, and from looking at your posts, you need a new circle of friends. I'm not saying to abandon your current friends, but just to go out and meet new people.

And the fact that you don't talk to people outside your group of friends when you're out is odd. It's not hard to simply approach someone and begin a conversation. Your argument that all the girls are blocked by their friends or whatever is ridiculous.

But this is all advice that you've read and ignored before.

And I'm willing to bet you haven't watch Swingers yet, like I told you to do earlier.

And I can't believe you just said that NY nightlife "sucks."

J,
Yes they do. Read the rest of your responses in this thread. You are by and large a boring, generic, pessimistic person. Everyone (including me) has tried to help you out in this thread, but in the end it boils down to this. You need to find ways to become more self confident, interesting and exciting. (Cue defensive rant about poker/tennis/drinking with the bros as examples of exciting life).
Regards,
MTR

Thats what I said a while ago. Other like minded meetup groups, activity groups, etc. and I believe I also quoted the master of the universe lol: "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different result"

Can't we just rename the thread to jwhitt's dating support group? I mean the guy gets dates, has sex with girls, but just doesn't nail them down permanently. Boo hoo. Lol and the nyc night life "sucks". Yeah, right.

Hi, I'm in Nashville and we don't want jwhitt. Although this city is crawling with hot single women

yeah, I didn't mean to knock Cashville. It just strikes me as a place where JWhitt could get a reasonably priced Bud Light while standing near hot women.

Gold.

I prefer parties to bars but rarely do people have them in NYC. It's not usually possible to have them. People live in strict buildings where they cannot get noise violations and everyone's places are so small due to rent being obnoxiously high and living in shoe boxes.

I haven't decided if I'm going out with the people in this thread. Maybe down the line. Before doing so I'd like Kaiser or pinkkk to come in the thread and do a quick post on whether they love NYC nightlife, then PM me a few places they go. If I've been to the place and think it sucks I'm not going to waste their or my time meeting up because it won't get me anywhere.

J,

"I prefer parties to bars but rarely do people have them in NYC."

That is absurd. Get better friends.

"Before doing so I'd like Kaiser or pinkkk to come in the thread and do a quick post on whether they love NYC nightlife, then PM me a few places they go. If I've been to the place and think it sucks I'm not going to waste their or my time meeting up because it won't get me anywhere."

And you wonder why people think you don't sound like fun?