JWhitt - This is the biggest lolfest ever. It's taking every fiber of my being to stay sincere and not just troll the everliving **** out of you.
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Originally Posted by JWhitt88
Come on, this statement is completely ridiculous. I know a girl that has slept with 100+ guys. That means that she had an amazing chemistry with all of them?
She had enough chemistry with them to **** them. Her chemistry requirement to **** is low, but still I'm sure she didn't **** all of the serial killers that have hit on her.
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Some girls take a while to sleep with guys they like. Others bang right away.
NO ****. Let me repeat this slowly. You have two groups:
Group A: girls who like to bang quickly
Group B: girls who like to wait
You have two dating situations:
Situation A: date has a good amount of chemistry.
Situation B: date does not have chemistry or it's a bit unclear.
Let's do a punnett square on this bitch:
Situation A Group A: girls bang on the first date.
Situation A Group B: girls go on a few dates, then bang.
Situation B Group A: girls go on one or more dates, things fizzle, no banging.
Situation B Group B: girls go on one or more dates, things fizzle, no banging.
DO YOU SEE WHY PEOPLE MIGHT INCORRECTLY BELIEVE THAT GOING ON MULTIPLE DATES WITHOUT BANGING IS THE CAUSE OF NOT BANGING? IT'S NOT THE CAUSE, IT'S JUST A SYMPTOM OF YOU BEING A CHUMP WHO CAN'T GENERATE CHEMISTRY.
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You do know each girl is different, right, and it's not about how exciting they find you. I lost a lot of respect for you on that statement.
"It's not about how exciting they find you." That **** needs to go up on your Wall of Shame. Are you ****ing kidding me? It's
exactly about how exciting they find you. Do they feel excited when they see you? Is there something about who you are, the things that you love, the person you represent, that makes this person happy and excited to see you?
You're such a ****ing Nice Guy defending the honor of all women like that.
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And I guess I'm sort of boring on a date. We are seated across from each other in a restaurant eating tapas or sushi, how much of an adrenaline rush can I put the girl through? Please answer that question and don't avoid it since you selectively like to quote things.
First, don't take a girl to dinner on the first date. Second, if you take them to dinner, don't be a bland conversationalist. Haven't you ever talked to someone and felt engaged with them? Have you never built rapport over dinner? Talk to them about their lives, be passionate about yours, find out what you have in common. Those things bring humans together. It generates excitement. It makes us feel alive, like kindred.
Anyway, you have a major misconception about the mechanics of attraction. It's not some intellectualized, rational thinking process where we objectively assess our date and choose whether we like this person. It's an emotional rush: it's the most primal parts of our DNA that dump happy chemicals into our system to say, **** YES, this is someone that GETS me, someone I want to touch and to be touched by. And how does that emotional rush feel? It feels like
excitement.
That emotional rush gets triggered by a wide variety of things: common backgrounds, witty banter, shared interests, similar morals and viewpoints, a beautiful rack, a chiseled jaw, a graze of a touch, whatever. Yeah, many sources of excitement and attraction. But regardless, it expresses itself as excitement.
Call it whatever you want -- lacking excitement, being boring, things fizzling, interest waning -- but the bottom line is that you don't sustain chemistry and attraction. You don't sustain excitement because you're boring and not that engaging, or a million other reasons.